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*~~December Chat Thread~~*


Forum: Spiritual Living

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  #41  
December 17th, 2013, 10:10 AM
Sacred Silence's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Perfect. I suspect the shock and relief ( due to the end of his suffering) you felt in the beginning have worn off. The grief and overwhelming realization that you are the only parent has set in, so has a different grief cycle and yet, you must get up and go on and function.. it's a tough road to walk.

Does the counselor say you are the bad guy?
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  #42  
December 17th, 2013, 11:03 AM
Amaranth Dhanya's Avatar aka Hillarie
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Not outright but his looping questions and the way he talks makes me feel that way.

I think most of my emotions are centered around the Connor issue. I knew the end result for Dan. I prayed for his peace the last six months cuz it was just so never-ending.
But I had hopes that when he passed, though pain be there and some craziness of getting back on our feet, I'd hoped life would become calmer. We'd finally have some peace and balance and "normalcy" that had been lacking during Dan's illness.
I knew it wouldn't be perfect, don't expect it, but I thought we'd be able to not be living in the unknown zone, have time to mourn and get back to doing family stuff and enjoy life.
That's not the case with Connors antics. I feel like I started coming out of survivor mode only to realize I can't and I'm stuck. I don't know how to let it go. I know I need to, it will help a bit, but I don't dare but I want to. It's such an odd spot. I want to put it down...That survival shield but I can't, when I try Connors antics come at us and it goes up again.

Gosh does that even make sense?
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  #43  
December 17th, 2013, 11:20 AM
TreeTog's Avatar Love is in the Air!
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It makes complete sense Hillarie! I wish I lived closer and could give you a big hug and a break.

Leslie
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  #44  
December 18th, 2013, 05:26 AM
Amaranth Dhanya's Avatar aka Hillarie
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Thanks Leslie...

Happy hump day! Going to do some wrapping then grocery shop.
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  #45  
December 18th, 2013, 06:52 AM
Sacred Silence's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Makes perfect sense to me as well.

Have you considered having a conversation with him one on one without Connor and expressing to him how he is triggering that feeling for you? And, that you would like to know what his plan is for addressing Connor's issues. I mean, I would have a real heart to heart with him so that everything is out on the table.. you two should be working together to help Connor not having them work against you.. KWIM?
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  #46  
December 18th, 2013, 07:20 AM
Amaranth Dhanya's Avatar aka Hillarie
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Ya, I know what you mean.
My one on one was at intake. That's where I discuss it all and we talk plans, etc. After that I get nada and he's told Connor he is the "safe zone" so he can say stuff and it won't get him in trouble and no one will be told what's said not even me. So Connor won't say much about what's discussed nor will the counselor. I know slim basics of it, that's it.
A plan was put in place on what was desired, give it six months. I have yet to see ANY real change or plan working in the time he's been there(about two months).
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  #47  
December 18th, 2013, 07:43 AM
Sacred Silence's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I don't mean that you go in and ask about what Connor is saying, I mean that you go in and talk to the counselor about what he is saying to you and his attitude toward you. That needs to be addressed BECAUSE.. even though Connor is his patient, his goal should be on working with both you and Connor so that your home is not a war zone.. hello.

And, your concerns over a lack of progress should be addressed as well... blech. Sometimes, inadvertently the counselor mirrors the attitude the child is venting in session and forgets to look at all sides of the problem.. and to view you as part of the solution.. not as the problem. Annoying when they do that.
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  #48  
December 18th, 2013, 09:24 AM
TreeTog's Avatar Love is in the Air!
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We are making teacher Holiday gifts today. We are also making stuff for paras, bus driver, and bus aide.

Leslie
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  #49  
December 18th, 2013, 09:28 AM
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Leslie,
whatcha making???
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  #50  
December 18th, 2013, 09:36 AM
Amaranth Dhanya's Avatar aka Hillarie
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Sounds fun Leslie.

I didn't get a big enough roll of wrapping paper lol, so I have a few things left to wrap.

Terri....I hear ya. I suck at confrontation especially with one adept at twisting what I say til I haven't a clue what's up lol.
I'll get something figured out and get his counselor doing something productive.
Next month is his appt for medicine and I'm really hoping we get it right this time and it helps. Just trying hard to keep the faith that this "knot" will unravel very soon.
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  #51  
December 18th, 2013, 09:38 AM
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I will be sending you all good thoughts and prayers for the knot to loosen and become manageable!!!!! xo
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  #52  
December 18th, 2013, 12:27 PM
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Thank you.
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  #53  
December 20th, 2013, 06:53 AM
Amaranth Dhanya's Avatar aka Hillarie
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Happy today!

Any fun plans this weekend?
Anyone traveling?

Be safe and warm out there.
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  #54  
December 20th, 2013, 07:16 AM
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Good morning Hillarie!!!!

We are not traveling! But, of course there are plans.. the kids must be driven from one event to the next after all!!! LOL. I am a shuttle bus. lol.
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  #55  
December 20th, 2013, 07:29 AM
Amaranth Dhanya's Avatar aka Hillarie
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Aren't all mommies? Lol

My nieces got my sis a license plate frame that said " moms taxi service" lol.
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  #56  
December 20th, 2013, 07:39 AM
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Yes, we are. I embrace the shuttle bus role.. so much different than my role with Emerson at the moment.. tissue, pillow, jungle gym, and fixer of all.
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  #57  
December 20th, 2013, 08:33 AM
Amaranth Dhanya's Avatar aka Hillarie
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I hear ya. I like the stage we're in now, they can do stuff themselves but still need me at times lol. Even though there are difficulties it's still fun.

My sis has six daughters from 1 year to 12 years old so she's got a bit of everything going on LOL.
I love watching how awesome a job she does cuz she didn't want kids, and when they talked of it she actually asked if I'd do it for her lol, she didn't want to feel the "alien" sensation lol. Goddess bless her now she has SIX lol.
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  #58  
December 20th, 2013, 08:58 AM
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SIX! Wow. Three blow my mind. I love my kids so much and had I been blessed with more that would have rocked but three is enough to keep me nice and busy!!! LOL.. she has all girls and you have all boys.. how funny.
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  #59  
December 20th, 2013, 09:05 AM
Amaranth Dhanya's Avatar aka Hillarie
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No one in my family does mixed genders, and boys are a rare treat, LOL.

Grandma had girls, mom had girls, B had girls, I had boys, my older sis H has one son.
Just waiting to see what my youngest sis does, if she has kids that is.
LOL it took me 15 mins or so on the phone convincing grandma that Connor was a boy and I wasn't lying to tease her. She'd already made and given me pink hats and blankets lol.
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  #60  
December 20th, 2013, 09:32 AM
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Boys are rare in my family too. My sister has two girls. My brother has three girls. I have two girls.. and the only boy.
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