We pride ourselves on having the friendliest
and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment
for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers.
If you have any problems registering please drop an email to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!
DH and I have a 2 year old DS and have been TTC for 2 years, with 2 MC!
When is it time to throw the towel in and adopt?
DH and I have decided we do want to adopt at least one child, just not sure when.
Well, that's a tough one. I guess I don't really consider adoption throwing in the towel, I see it as starting a new journey. You'll need to make some decisions first (or maybe you already have) such as where you are going to adopt from and what age child you are seeking. The process (for pretty much anywhere) takes time, so it wouldn't hurt to get some initial paperwork going soon if you decide you do want to adopt.
Best of luck and keep us posted!
By the way, welcome to the adoption board, I'm Marla, mom of 4, 2 bio boys and 2 daughters from China. Your son is a cutie!
I also don't see it as throwing in the towel. It's something I've always planned to do whether I was able to have my own naturally or not. I've also had several m/c, but that doesn't play a part in my decision at all. I think you should decide for sure if you even want to adopt (whether your TTC efforts ever work out or not), and then decide the things she mentioned above. Knowing where you want the child to come from and how soon you want that child will determine when you start the process. Some children are in places or situations that take longer to get through the red tape than others.
I think you are going to have to deal with a lot of issues that might be currently underlying due to your MCs and the hard time you've had getting pregnant this time. I almost think it is time to adopt when you no longer think of it as throwing in the towel... as giving up... but rather more as something you desperately want to do. In other words, adopt when you want to adopt, not when you think "Well, I guess this is the only way we'll have more kids."
DH and I are in the process of getting approved to adopt through our local DHR. We have one DD who was born 3 months early and one angel son who was stillborn on August 4 last year. We dealt with a lot of feelilngs over the idea we might not have anymore bio children but we also have always wanted to adopt children.
Welcome to the board. I also agree that feeling like adoption is throwing in the towel is probably a good indicator that you need to deal with some issues related to the TTC journey. I personally think that one is ready for adoption when they view it is as equal to having a child by birth.
Hi ladies and thank you for your advice.
I apologize for saying throwing in the towel. That was not what I meant to say. It did sound a little harsh.
My grandmother fostered over 200 children in her days. I grew up around these kids and loved showing them a real loving family. I guess you could say its in my blood to adopt. My DH and I have been talking about it and no matter what happens with our TTC we are going to adopt at least one child. We just dont know when the right time would be. My DS is already 2.5. I would love to adopt a 3 year old and still TTC. Adopting is not going to stop my TTC. I often look at the picture listings of the children and wish I could adopt all of them!
I am probably going to be on this board ALOT asking a ton of questions so just bear with me tee hee hee
I've always heard that once you start the adoption process, a lot of people end up getting pregnant - I guess because the stress of ttc is lifted off of them. Good luck either way! I hope you get both!!!
I've always heard that once you start the adoption process, a lot of people end up getting pregnant - I guess because the stress of ttc is lifted off of them. Good luck either way! I hope you get both!!![/b]
Thats funny that you say that! A family at my church TTC for 5 years. Then ended up adopting out of the country and within a month of the little girl being home with them she conceived!