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Forum: Adoption

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  #1  
January 28th, 2009, 10:15 AM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 4,847
"I could never do that. I'd get too attached."

Honestly... do people really think that I am some heartless woman who doesn't get attached to children who come into my home?! That I enjoy having my heart ripped away from me when they move? People have to STOP saying this to me, or I'm going to get ugly about it... LOL.
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  #2  
January 28th, 2009, 03:27 PM
BensMom's Avatar Ephesians 4:29
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: The Lonestar State
Posts: 50,214
As someone who's actually said that, I can tell you that I feel quite the opposite. I admire your courage to be able to do such a thing. Your heart has been broken just as many of us have (although I know a SB and m/c aren't exactly the same thing). I've had close to 20 m/c, so I just don't want to have my heart ripped out again. That's all.
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  #3  
January 28th, 2009, 04:52 PM
Jessa78's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Lynchburg, VA
Posts: 903
Oh, hon, I'm so sorry. I never thought of it that way. I admire the strength you have to hold it together while your heart is breaking, to put the needs of a child so far ahead of your own. My best friend once told me 'Courage is to know this is going to hurt like hell and to step into the ring anyway.' I promise you on all that is good and green on this Earth, when I've said those very words in the past (I will try not to say them in the future), what I meant from the bottom of my broken heart is this:
  • God bless you for your heart and your strength
  • I wish I was that strong
  • I know I'm not (Some days my heart is truly dangling from my sleeve by a thread)
I sincerely apologize for any pain those words have caused you.
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  #4  
January 28th, 2009, 07:29 PM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 4,847
I think of people IRL that say this mostly. It is usually a look in their eye that tells me what they are really thinking. Trust me, holding your child who has died is the ultimate in "ripping your heart out" feeling. To me, I'm just officially tired of people IRL saying it.

The thing that brings this about more than anything is that I always have to tell my story when people ask. It's like I feel like I have to explain to people why I would willingly let myself get attached to children, to get up at night with them while they are sick, to comfort their cries, to rock them while I feed them their bottle, or comfort them when they have a nightmare, and then give them back to their family or whatever. But it is because those kids NEED that! I don't understand how I could NOT do it. I guess I just expect everyone else to get that that.

And the other night in my class I said I was a foster parent to a girl in my class who I've just met. She just said, "Oh I'd have to keep them all." I said, "They aren't dogs... they aren't yours to keep." LOL. But it was just the attitude she had about the whole thing. You can tell if people are sincere or not IRL I think and most are not.
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  #5  
January 28th, 2009, 07:56 PM
BensMom's Avatar Ephesians 4:29
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: The Lonestar State
Posts: 50,214
That's definitely true! I usually give people the benefit of the doubt online because you really can't tell what they're thinking sometimes. IRL, though... sheesh! Some people are just idiots!
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  #6  
January 29th, 2009, 11:19 AM
mswordwiz's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: ATL
Posts: 1,902
I got that a lot when our first 2 arrived. Most kids in this state get a new foster home every 2 years in the hopes that they will be adopted by a foster family who does not want them out of their lives which is sad. We went into fostering hoping that we could find a "click" so we could adopt. We got lucky both times ! When we had the teen placed with us, it was under emergency placement circumstances. I could not imagine having to send her to another home, and we are her 6th foster home and shes 14. So in March we can file the adoption paperwork on her. Like the judge said in Sept for the adoption of the other 2 parenting does not stop the day this child turns 18....well no kidding buster...


I think a lot of it in real life is people do not think before they open their mouth and rotate the feet.
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