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Do you all do foster or foster to adopt?


Forum: Adoption

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  #1  
February 3rd, 2009, 07:36 PM
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I am beginning the foster care process and they told me today that before i start i have to decide on foster or foster to adopt? The issue i am having is i am waiting for a certain child to (down the road) Possibly be up for adoption. So I do not want to make any commitments until i know what is going on with her.but i also do not want to choose foster then have her go up for adoption in 6 months and go to an adoptive home.Not sure if anyone will understand this?Just wondering what everyone else does or started out doing
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  #2  
February 3rd, 2009, 09:45 PM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I've never heard a state that requires you to make that distinction. Our state just distinguishes between adoption ONLY (as in adopting a child who has already been TPRed and is completely legally free for adoption) and foster care. If you choose foster care, you always have the option to adopt the child if he or she comes available for adoption and the current foster home of that child then gets first right of acceptance. But, I'd say if you have to choose then say you'll foster-to-adopt. You can always say no if that child is not one you want to take in forever for any reason.

And welcome to the forum! I'm a new foster mom. DH and I have been liscensed since July and got our foster son then. We very much hope to adopt him. TPR process is in the early stages.
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  #3  
February 3rd, 2009, 09:55 PM
BensMom's Avatar Ephesians 4:29
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I *think* Texas also makes you choose. I've just begun my research, and I'm only going by what I've read in the paperwork that was mailed to me. I haven't been to an informational meeting yet.
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  #4  
February 4th, 2009, 09:07 AM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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That seems so weird to me... but then I only know Alabama. LOL. What's the difference? I mean you can absolutely never adopt a child if you choose to foster? That seems off.
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  #5  
February 4th, 2009, 09:40 AM
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I agree its very odd. They said it makes it easier to know where to place the child. If a foster to adopt home they put the kids they believe will tpr. And if a child they believe is going to go home they will put in regular foster care. Not really an easy decision for me to make. I dont know which to choose.My situation is there is a specific child i know in foster care.And down the road MAY be up for adoption.So I figured i wanted to foster anyway so would start making calls.I thought saying foster to adopt would help that situation.BUT while waiting i do not want to let the kids down who are staying here that need to be adopted.So sort of torn on how to answer them.

Also to answer your question..whats the difefrence??Which is what i said?? They said the difference is in the MAPP classes.They said the foster to adopt are a little different.They said they add more legal stuff into it.And the regular foster care classes talk more about feelings when the child returns home.And the seperate homes helps them decide where to place the kids.This is MA. for ya i guess !!!!
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  #6  
February 4th, 2009, 08:23 PM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Oh wow... yeah, our MAPP classes are for all parents doing anything through the system. Like we had foster only, foster to adopt and adopt only parents in the same class that we took. Interesting how different it can be from state to state!

Can you tell them your specific situation? Like you'd like to adopt this one particular child, but you'd be willing to/ want to foster other child along the way too. Perhaps they can help you decide.
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  #7  
February 5th, 2009, 03:26 PM
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Yes i did tell them i wanted to adopt a specific child. They asked if that didnt happen would i consider adopting other children. I said yes. So they are sending out the foster to adopt packet. I am still not sure on what i want. Im thinking maybe just do foster care until i hear whats going on with her. But then afraid ill do foster care and feel the same about those littles ones and want to keep them!! And there goal will be to return home. Does anyone know if the home studies are the same for foster/foster to adopt? And does the state help finacially with foster to adopt children?
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  #8  
February 5th, 2009, 09:18 PM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Home studies are the same for everyone. And the state does help with foster to adopt children. The children who are labeled "foster to adopt" are still foster children and you'll get the same subsidy per month. You have to realize that those children are not technically "free" for adoption and can be sent home still. It is a lot less likely that they'll be reunited, but it is not totally ruled out. The only "sure thing" is adopting kids who have already finished the TPR (terminate parents rights) process and are free for adoption. Our son was moved to our home because we want to adopt. He is a foster to adopt child, but he does have family fighting the TPR and dragging out the process. So, though we SHOULD be able to adopt him, it is NOT a definite thing yet.

So everything is basically the same with foster children verses foster to adopt children. It sounds like your state just wants to distinguish so they send the children who are probably going toward adoption to their foster to adopt homes and keep the emergency placements in their foster homes.
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  #9  
February 6th, 2009, 03:30 AM
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That was very helpful. Thank you !
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  #10  
February 7th, 2009, 08:36 AM
LadyLacy's Avatar Super Mommy
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Beth explained it well.

here, I think we could have put ourselves as foster only. when we did our paperwork we had foster care and adoption boxes and we marked both. the case manager said we'd be listed as foster to adopt.
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  #11  
February 9th, 2009, 02:11 PM
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Our situation is different. We are a licensed kinship foster home who is seeking placement of a relatives child who is out of state. The bio father has little input. The bio mother is my sister and fully supportive of our placement desire. The state started TPR and then stopped TPR and has recently started it again. They had us complete the process to become a foster home knowing that their goal was for adoption. So now we have to start the adoption process, which has been started. For us, its been a waiting game.
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  #12  
February 9th, 2009, 02:36 PM
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My siutation actually is a bit like yours. Wouldnt be kinship because im not family.But i do know her.And have spent a good period of time with this child and there is a connection. So i just filled out my adoption papers and i put child specific? Which im not sure was correct because she technically is not for adoption yet.They kept her goal as reunification with mom.But they keep telling me they "think" they will tpr.So its a waiting game here also!! Not fun

Quote:
Our situation is different. We are a licensed kinship foster home who is seeking placement of a relatives child who is out of state. The bio father has little input. The bio mother is my sister and fully supportive of our placement desire. The state started TPR and then stopped TPR and has recently started it again. They had us complete the process to become a foster home knowing that their goal was for adoption. So now we have to start the adoption process, which has been started. For us, its been a waiting game.[/b]


May i ask why they had you do foster to begin with and not adoption? Thats where im confused on what to pick
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  #13  
February 9th, 2009, 03:25 PM
mswordwiz's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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For us when we did the initial paperwork it was foster to adopt. We received 2 foster kiddos 4-25-07, and their adoption order was signed on 9-22-08. We still have a foster license and in 8-08 we opened our home to a 13 year old where we were her 7th foster home with parental rights terminated. We can file adoption papers on her in March, and we plan to do so.

IN the meantime, my godchild called up asking us to adopt her pregancy, we agreed to adopt both twins who were born on 1-22-09. Since we had an active GA Foster license we did not have to obtain one until the final order of adoption is signed on both boys. You need to have a foster license in some states to have a child before the Adoption order is signed.

Updated news...this weekend we opened our home to a special needs infant who was born on 1-19. Parents terminated their rights based on her facial deformity, and we can change our status after the emergency placement period is over to foster to adopt.
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  #14  
February 9th, 2009, 06:21 PM
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All i have to say to that is...god bless you !!! That right there makes all this stress and paperwork all worth it !! I hope my day will come
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  #15  
February 9th, 2009, 06:28 PM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Wow, mswordwiz, you have an unbelievably exhausting and wonderful sounding home! 3 newborns!! That sounds like the home I want for sure.

And, yes, thart09, having the child finally in your home melts away all that endless time you spent filling out paperwork and cleaning the house for the homestudy and worrying if you can do it at all. I agree with you completely!
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  #16  
February 10th, 2009, 03:05 PM
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Quote:
My siutation actually is a bit like yours. Wouldnt be kinship because im not family.But i do know her.And have spent a good period of time with this child and there is a connection. So i just filled out my adoption papers and i put child specific? Which im not sure was correct because she technically is not for adoption yet.They kept her goal as reunification with mom.But they keep telling me they "think" they will tpr.So its a waiting game here also!! Not fun

Quote:
Our situation is different. We are a licensed kinship foster home who is seeking placement of a relatives child who is out of state. The bio father has little input. The bio mother is my sister and fully supportive of our placement desire. The state started TPR and then stopped TPR and has recently started it again. They had us complete the process to become a foster home knowing that their goal was for adoption. So now we have to start the adoption process, which has been started. For us, its been a waiting game.[/b]


May i ask why they had you do foster to begin with and not adoption? Thats where im confused on what to pick
[/b]

I think that having us go thru the foster process was a way to attempt to deter us in taking placement. But I am not easily detered. We actually have a few things going on in the case that the other state failed to do and failed to do properly. Because of the situation I cant go into detail about the case. Belive me I would love to spill the dirt but cant. Lets just say that its mind blowing. When we initially applied nearly a year ago the plan was adoption. Yet they chose to do it this way.

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  #17  
March 26th, 2009, 11:03 AM
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Hello!

I'm a foster/adopt mommy to 2 beautiful children. My DH and I did foster/adopt. If you just do foster,it means that if and when birth rights are terminated,they will find a adopted home for the child. Which means after you have fostered the child and birth rights do get terminated and the child can then be adopted,they find a home that will adopt the child. If you do foster/adopt,it means that if and when birth rights are terminated,the child you are foster,you have the first to adopted the child. I hope this makes sense. Just foster,you do not have the right to adopted when and if the child becomes available. If foster/adopt you have the right to adopt the child,if the child becomes available. I always did foster/adopt because I wanted the first chance to adopt the child I was fostering.
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Last edited by 2sentbygod; March 26th, 2009 at 11:07 AM.
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