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Pro's and Con's of Fostering to Adopt?


Forum: Adoption

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  #1  
February 17th, 2009, 03:57 PM
-Anna-'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Can someone tell me what they believe the pro's and con's are to fostering to adopt?
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  #2  
February 17th, 2009, 07:12 PM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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This is a very opinion driven post, so understand that...

PROS:
It's practically free.
You get to adopt a sweet little child who might not otherwise get a permanent home.
You can keep fostering forever if you want, so you can always have children in your home and help lots of kids.
You'll learn a lot about what "love" and "family" really means.

CONS:
It's not a guarenteed adoption. The birth family might get that child back.
You have to work with the foster care system which is "broken" in a lot of ways.
Many of the foster children are either older, in large sibling groups, or medically fragile... the older ones (and some of the little ones) have many psychological issues they have to deal with.
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  #3  
February 17th, 2009, 07:40 PM
-Anna-'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Thank you, Beth. That really helped me.

I did not know that their adoption might not be permanent.
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  #4  
February 17th, 2009, 09:50 PM
BensMom's Avatar Ephesians 4:29
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Quote:
I did not know that their adoption might not be permanent.[/b]
Adoption is permanent once the paperwork is finalized. It's just not guaranteed until everything goes through the system.
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  #5  
February 18th, 2009, 12:07 PM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Chrystal is right (thanks) I meant it isn't a definite thing until the adoption paperwork is finalized... though I'm not sure any adoption is anyway. I have a foster son in my home whose case should have been really easy going to adoption. Now two weeks before the TPR hearing (where the parents' rights would be terminated and adoption would be started) the biological grandma decided she wants him and "will do whatever she can to get him." You just never know what will happen and who will show up at the last minute.
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  #6  
February 25th, 2009, 03:55 PM
andrewNdereksmom's Avatar Veteran
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Location: Sodus, Michigan
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Quote:
This is a very opinion driven post, so understand that...

PROS:
It's practically free.
You get to adopt a sweet little child who might not otherwise get a permanent home.
You can keep fostering forever if you want, so you can always have children in your home and help lots of kids.
You'll learn a lot about what "love" and "family" really means.

CONS:
It's not a guarenteed adoption. The birth family might get that child back.
You have to work with the foster care system which is "broken" in a lot of ways.
Many of the foster children are either older, in large sibling groups, or medically fragile... the older ones (and some of the little ones) have many psychological issues they have to deal with.[/b]
I am hoping one day to either be a foster parent. anyways,

I agree with what your saying. I was in foster home and adopted but its different for everyone. I was older so know one really wanted me they wanted to raise a child as their own. But people have to realize us older kids( I am 22 now and married with two handsome boys) need a mom or dad or what not to love us cause our parents never loves us. did that make any sense.. I WISH YOU ALL LUCK.....
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  #7  
February 25th, 2009, 07:43 PM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I completely understand what you are saying. I think people go into foster care blind sometimes to the things that cause the kids to come into care. I know you are all too familar with things like that. Sometimes though, we just think that we can "fix them" by being loving enough and sometimes it takes a lot more than that (in terms of patience, therapy, perhaps even medications).

When my DD is older I want so badly to adopt older sibling groups of kids. I don't ever want a child to think they aren't good enough or wanted enough or loved enough to have a home!
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