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Well, we just got home from a 4 hour visit with Lil Buddy's biological grandmother, great-aunt and dad. It was very difficult to say the least. Lil Buddy did amazing. I tried to let them all do the "parenting" part of his care, but it is like they didn't want to or expected me to do it. I had a hard time with that. Then they all wanted to coo and love and hold him and what not. Grandma took him when he started crying (I didn't have him at the time) and it was SO hard to allow that and not just snatch him away and calm him down.
I tried to let grandma feed him, but she gave up after a few tries of him not eating. I finished.
The thing that kept nagging me is that they kept just visiting with one another and not paying attention to him. He'd be in his own little world and they'd let him stay there. I tried to show them how to walk him around or play ball or read books, but they just didn't seem to really care. And although grandma obviously knew that he preferred to be with me or my DH (from statements she made) and realized that he had an attachment with us... she never once said, "Hey thanks for caring for him so well." Or anything to that affect. I don't really want to be praised for it, but she didn't acknowledge that we DID care for him well.
It's very hard to feel two completely opposite things. I want him to be my son with every little ounce of me, and at the same time I want him to be a part of his bio family too. I want them to want him and fight for him and be fabulous parents. But it doesn't really seem that they want to do that. But at other times it completely does.
Beth, like Jessa said.....you are an amazing mom! I'm sorry that it was such a difficult 4 hours for you. Hopefully, they will realize that he is more than they can handle and that you and DH love and care for him so much that they will back down on wanting to try and take him from you and yet will still want to try and be a part of his life.