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My DH just asked me if we could foster. His father lived with his foster parents from the time he was 8 until he went into the military. They were pretty much DH's only grandparents on his Dad's side. We aren't necessarily looking to adopt but, help a child out by giving them a stable loving home. My fear is, I've never raised a child, I have much younger siblings (the last one graduated high school this year) but, I'm not sure if I would be good at it. It seems like with a baby you get to grow as a parent as they grow as person. I know I'm capable of taking care of the physical needs of a child but, what if I say something wrong or don't do something the right way? I don't know. I really love the idea and I really want to do this, I'm so afraid I won't be good at it. Should I consider this? I've looked at the SAFY website and we've asked them to contact us with more information. One of my closest and dearest friend adopted her daughters from foster care (her MIL was caring for them and her and her DH fell in love with them). They are wonderful little girls and her family is such a pleasure to be around. I guess now I'm just rambling. Any thoughts or suggestion would really be appreciated while I try to figure this out. -Thanks A.Fitz
I'm a foster mommy. It is certainly not the easiest job in the world, but man I love every minute of it. My current foster son, Lil Buddy, has been our first foster child and we are very much hoping to adopt him. His biological paternal grandmother wants him though, and if she completes her plan he could move to her house. It's extremely emotional and hard because I want him to stay here, but I also really want him to be a part of his bio family too. Oh sorry, now I'm rambling.
On to your thoughts. If you didn't think you couldn't do it, I'd be concerned. Being a mom is a difficult job. Being a mom to a hurt child is even harder and SO much different than being a mom to your own biological child. I don't think any foster mother, no matter how "experienced" a parent she was before she started would say it was a simple thing. You might make mistakes... that's understandable. You will have a lot of resources and friends and people to help you though. And the main thing these kids need is someone who will love them no matter what and work hard for their best interests.
You'll have to complete classes (at least I think that's required in most every state). They are usually called MAPP or PRIDE. Those will help you learn more about what to expect as a foster parent. Taking the classes does not require that you become a foster parent when you are finished... so you can take them without obligation.
I wish you all the best. Fostering is such a gift to everyone involved!!
I completely agree with Beth. My DH and I just finished our classes last week and they went a long way to making us both feel more prepared. You should check out the Dave Thomas Foundation website, as well. They sent us a lot of information about foster care and adoption and we found it to be simple and straightforward.
Good Luck and
Jessa, married to Blake these past fourteen years. Beginning the adoption process.