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International adoption ~ Choosing a country?


Forum: Adoption

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  #1  
April 13th, 2009, 06:11 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 7,787
My DH and I have been dealing with unexplained secondary infertility for nearly 2 years now. We've spent thousands of dollars on fertility treatments with no luck. We've decided not to move forth with IVF, if it comes to that because it doesn't garentee us a child in the end.

After many months of praying and research about adoption, we've decided that international adoption would be the way to go for us. So, we've decided that if we're not pregnant by the end of this year, we're going to be moving forward with adoption early next year.

Lately, I've been doing lots of research on the different countries and adoption processes within the different countries. I want to be really educated on the subject when/if the time comes that we move in that direction.

My question is, for those of you that have adopted, or are in the process of adoption, what country did you choose? And, why?
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  #2  
April 13th, 2009, 07:03 PM
Jessa78's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Lynchburg, VA
Posts: 903
Hey, Allison. I remember you.

I completely understand how you feel right now. After nine years of TTC, two of those years with MA, spending hundreds of hours and thousands of dollars on painful tests and month after month of bitter disappointment, my DH and I took a much needed break. We had always talked about adoption, we'd even sent off for applications at one point, but we just weren't there - until my sister gave birth to her perfect, beautiful little girl. We are meant to be parents and this is our path now. We've just completed our Home Study and been approved and now... we wait. At least we've had plenty of practice at that, right?

We're going through our state Department of Social Services -adopting a child whose parental rights have been legally terminated. I can't help you at all with international adoptions, hon, but I can tell you this, since we made the 'official' decision to go down this path - since the very moment that I hung up the phone after that very first call to our local office - we haven't regretted a single moment of it. We've been through physicals, mounds of paperwork, personal interviews, half a dozen classes, a home inspection and I know it sounds crazy but I think it's drawn us even closer together. Everything I've had to do, he's had to do - and we've done it together. We joke that we're both preggo.

Whatever you decide, I wish you nothing but the best of luck. Welcome to the board.
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Jessa, married to Blake these past fourteen years. Beginning the adoption process.

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  #3  
April 13th, 2009, 09:27 PM
BensMom's Avatar Ephesians 4:29
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: The Lonestar State
Posts: 50,214
We're in the thinking stage ourselves. I chose Korea because you're almost guaranteed a boy, and they have a great system (foster homes rather than orphanages, detailed medical records, etc.). Unfortunately, Korea pretty much closed it's doors in January. I'm still interested in special needs children though (don't let that scare you... special needs can literally be something as silly as a birthmark!! You should really consider it to get the ball moving faster.). As far as I know, Korea is still open to the U.S. if you go the special needs route. If you want to almost be guaranteed a girl, go with China. Otherwise, I'm not much help either. Sorry.
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  #4  
April 14th, 2009, 06:50 AM
eash's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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We brought our son home from Korea about 6 months ago. I remember being where you are and not sure what country to choose from. This is just my personal opinion so take it with a grain of salt ---

Korea: Great program, very ethical but very expensive. Depending on your state, you may have trouble finding an agency who will help you. Korea has slowed down quite a bit. You are almost guaranteed a healthy boy unless you already have a son. The wait varies from 6 months to 18 months depending on agencies.

China: Almost guaranteed a girl but the wait is now well over 3 years. There is a program called "children of promise" which can place you with a boy almost immediately, although he might have very minor special needs.

Ethiopia: Very interesting program that allows you to meet birth families (depending on agency). The wait can be minimal but the children often have issues associated with malnutrition. This was our second choice.


Those are the big programs right now but there are lots of little countries which are involved in international adoption. The way that we made our choice was based on the age of child we wanted, gender, health, foster care or orphanage, wait length, and the state that we live in. Once you consider those options, the rest is pretty easy. Feel free to PM with any questions. Good luck
Guatamala: still closed
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  #5  
April 14th, 2009, 02:30 PM
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Thanks so much, ladies. You were all helpful!

Jessa ~ I remember you, too. I am so happy that you are on your way to having a child! That is awesome!

Bensmom ~ No, I didn't realize that "special need's" could be something really minor.

eashley ~ So many things to consider! Thanks for the info on those countries.

I look forward to getting to know everyone!
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  #6  
April 14th, 2009, 07:51 PM
BensMom's Avatar Ephesians 4:29
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Location: The Lonestar State
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Look at http://www.rainbowkids.com
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  #7  
April 15th, 2009, 08:22 AM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Posts: 4,847
Hi! Sorry I'm late to the party.

I am a foster to adopt and foster parent. DH and I decided on fostering because it was always something I wanted to do and because the cost of adoption, private domestic or international, was just way out of our price range. Sounds like you have already gotten some awesome advice. I look forward to following your journey with you!
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  #8  
April 26th, 2009, 06:54 PM
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Hey! I havent been here since like September!!! Just wanted to let you know we brought our little boy home in August from Ethiopia and it was the most amazing thing ever! We had delt with TTC for about 5 years and after 4 tubal pregnancies with 3 emergency surgeries, one round of IVF that ended with a miscarriage at about 12 weeks I knew where we were meant to have our first child from! We researched a lot of countries and fell in love with Ethiopia! The trip was amazing and he is the loooooooove of our lives! I would love to answer any questions you might have! Good Luck!

~Meggan
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  #9  
April 26th, 2009, 08:57 PM
LadyLacy's Avatar Super Mommy
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Posts: 818
foster parent here too. plus we are a preadoptive home.

wanted to welcome you to the board! good luck and best prayers on your journey...
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M/C 6wks 4days Jan09 & 4wks 5days Nov 05, 3/25/09dnc[10wks 3d]Jan/24/2010[11wks baby stopped growing at 7+ wks]
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  #10  
April 28th, 2009, 04:23 AM
amholb0's Avatar Mrs.Fitz
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Location: Central KY
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Your little boy is adorable!!!! Congrats!
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  #11  
April 28th, 2009, 07:04 AM
mswordwiz's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I Lovvveee his Detroit Tigers Shirt!! Hes Adorable!!!!!!

DH and I went Foster to Adopt route with 4 out of the 6 kids in our household. 2 were from a Private Faith based Agency, 2 were a private open adoption with a family member of mine, and 2 were from DFACS.

We adopted our teen on the 23rd of April (shes still on cloud 9), and we filed on the special needs baby (Suzie) so her court date will be coming up shortly....!
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Another day, another 72% for the same work, different pay......
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  #12  
April 28th, 2009, 05:30 PM
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Thanks, ladies!

Meggan ~ Your little boy is soooo cute! Congratulations!
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  #13  
April 28th, 2009, 08:08 PM
txjovigal's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Hey Allison, we just recently choose to do the adoption route and while we were starting to do the research. We have decided to stay domestic and have been really lucky because a friend of my husband knows of a someone who is pregnant and we may be the ones adopting the baby... we are getting a lawyer next week.

Good Luck!!
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  #14  
May 3rd, 2009, 04:59 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by txjovigal View Post
Hey Allison, we just recently choose to do the adoption route and while we were starting to do the research. We have decided to stay domestic and have been really lucky because a friend of my husband knows of a someone who is pregnant and we may be the ones adopting the baby... we are getting a lawyer next week.

Good Luck!!
That's awesome! Keep us posted on everything! Good luck, hon!
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  #15  
May 26th, 2009, 05:46 PM
Just_Marie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Canada
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Hi Allison We went with a private, direct adoption, but when I was looking int'l I was going to go to the Ukraine; apparently they do a good job of taking care of their kids' emotional needs, not just physical. Just have to watch for FAS out there, apparently. From the bit of research I did, that was the country I was going to go with; my dad was also from out there, so it also made it a little more personal for me. Good luck!
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  #16  
July 20th, 2009, 01:57 PM
brandimomof2's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2008
Location: TX
Posts: 2,413
Hi Allison, I remember you from I think ttc board. We just miscarried last month and we have been thinking of adoption as well. We are now in the process of being approved to be foster/adoptive parents. So we will see what happens.

Good luck!!!
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