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  #1  
May 5th, 2009, 06:53 PM
Jessa78's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Lynchburg, VA
Posts: 903
We got our first call last week. The little girl they matched us with had a history that made the Dave Pelzer books read like bedtime stories. It is unthinkable, what she has endured both in and out of the system. She has had ten adoptive placements in six years. Her therapists, her teachers and an unbiased third-party who met her once to perform a range of IQ tests all state that she will require full-time supervision and institutional care for the rest of her natural life.

We said no. Never, not once, did I ever imagine having to say no to a child.
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Jessa, married to Blake these past fourteen years. Beginning the adoption process.

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  #2  
May 5th, 2009, 08:21 PM
BensMom's Avatar Ephesians 4:29
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: The Lonestar State
Posts: 50,214
I know there are children out there that I can't handle. Thankfully there are people who can, but I know there are very few.
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  #3  
May 5th, 2009, 08:52 PM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 4,847
I've said no a total of 4 times now. I never thought I'd ever say no either, but you know what you can handle and they expect you to tell them. No social worker can tell you who you and your family can take care of, they can just ask.

Good for you for knowing your limits.

I pray that little girl can find a home suited for her needs!
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  #4  
May 6th, 2009, 10:45 AM
mswordwiz's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: ATL
Posts: 1,902
For a child with that history (and I think I need to read Mr. Pelzer's books) I would say no too. 10 HOMES? ARRRGGGHH!
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And now there are 6....
Traci 14
Leigh 9
Brandon 6
Suzanne (1-18-2009)
Kyle & Luke (1-22-2009)

"Anyone engaging in illegal financial transactions will be caught and persecuted." --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Sept. 19, 2008

Another day, another 72% for the same work, different pay......
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  #5  
May 6th, 2009, 04:31 PM
Jessa78's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Lynchburg, VA
Posts: 903
Thank you all for the kind words. I feel truly horrible about it - guilty for saying no, angry for not being able to save her and dumb for getting my hopes up so high.

Beth - thank you for telling me you've been in the same situation a few times. I'm still reeling from this time; I never even considered it could happen again. Now I'll try to brace myself so maybe it won't hurt so much if/when it happens again.

Chrystal - thank you, too.

MsWordWiz - I am racking my brain trying to remember your real name. It's a small brain - and nothing much is happening up there today. Either way, thank you.
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Jessa, married to Blake these past fourteen years. Beginning the adoption process.

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  #6  
May 7th, 2009, 05:15 AM
amholb0's Avatar Mrs.Fitz
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Central KY
Posts: 301
I think it is much better for her that you not take her and not be able to handle her, it would just be one more home for her to leave. I know it must have been really hard to say no but, you did the best thing for her. ((((HUGS))))
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  #7  
May 7th, 2009, 08:39 PM
Jessa78's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Lynchburg, VA
Posts: 903
Thank you, hon. I appreciate that.
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Jessa, married to Blake these past fourteen years. Beginning the adoption process.

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  #8  
May 8th, 2009, 11:02 AM
mswordwiz's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: ATL
Posts: 1,902
Call me Nay. Seriously I have a child where we are home number 9 since the age of 3...and theres 8 sets of foster parents i seriously would like to take a 2x4 to their heads.......
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And now there are 6....
Traci 14
Leigh 9
Brandon 6
Suzanne (1-18-2009)
Kyle & Luke (1-22-2009)

"Anyone engaging in illegal financial transactions will be caught and persecuted." --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Sept. 19, 2008

Another day, another 72% for the same work, different pay......
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  #9  
May 9th, 2009, 07:15 AM
Jessa78's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Lynchburg, VA
Posts: 903
Hello, Nay. And I completely understand how you feel about that.
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Jessa, married to Blake these past fourteen years. Beginning the adoption process.

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