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  #1  
June 15th, 2009, 10:57 AM
brandimomof2's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2008
Location: TX
Posts: 2,413
Hi, I am thinking about adopting through foster care. How likly is it that we could adopt an infant? I am currently going through a miscarrage but have 2 kids of my own. Its really life altering when I become pregnant. I just thought there are so many kids out there that need good homes so why not adopt. I would really like a baby though not to say I wouldnt fall in love with an older child.

How long does the process normally take and where can I get info from my state?

I have thought about finding a mom who wants to adopt but I know this could be very hard to find.

Any info would be greatly appreciated.
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  #2  
June 15th, 2009, 03:38 PM
BensMom's Avatar Ephesians 4:29
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: The Lonestar State
Posts: 50,214
It's very hard to get placed with an infant. I got a packet in the mail quite a while back that talked about a lot of stuff, but most of the info is reserved for the in-person informational meetings (I haven't been to a meeting). The packet said that, by far, the majority of TX foster/adopt kids are older, black, male children, while the majority of applications are by white parents seeking a white infant. If age, gender, and/or race don't matter to you, you'll be matched much more quickly than someone wanting a specific age/race/gender. It would be that way for any type of adoption, though. It's also easier to get a match if you don't mind having a special needs child. Special needs vary from minor to severe, so you'd need to discuss what you're willing and able to accept as a disability.
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  #3  
June 15th, 2009, 04:04 PM
Jessa78's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Lynchburg, VA
Posts: 903
First of all, and I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I agree that the experience is life altering. DH and I are currently pursuing adoption through our state of Virginia. Please understand, my answers to your questions will come only from my own personal experiences with our local Department of Social Services.

1.) We were told right up front that adopting an infant through DSS is nearly impossible - unless you are willing to foster the child first. There has to be a lot going on in a home before DSS will remove a child (especially in a recession, sadly) and for at least the first year of the legal process, the goal is usually to reunite that child with his/her family. We were told that, on average, complete termination of the child's parental rights takes three years. So even if the child was taken from their parents at birth, it would be years before they could be legally adopted.

That being said, there can be exceptions: parents who terminate their own rights at birth, for instance. Still, DSS will usually try to find a member of that baby's family to step up and accept responsibility of the infant.

2.) It took us about six months to be approved as foster/adoptive parents and according to our worker, that was a very fast turnaround. I believe it usually takes 9 months to a year. To become approved, you will need a completed and approved home study and although the process can be daunting at times, it is also very rewarding. We've been approved for two months and we are waiting to be matched with a child. We're in discussions with several workers about several children and things look promising but I'll be honest and say, nothing happens quickly.

3.) To get information, I would suggest you contact your local DSS. You can go to your state's website and follow the links there to find the name of a contact. You can also contact a local adoption agency (if there is one in your area) but it is usually less expensive, or even free, to go directly through your DSS.

I highly recommend requesting information from the Dave Thomas Foundation. It's free and very thorough and will give provide you with a list of reputable resources within your own state. You may also want to check out the photo-listings of children currently available for adoption through your state (i.e. - AdoptUsKids - Children In Foster Care Awaiting Adoption) but I feel I need to caution you not to fall in love with a particular child (if you can help it) as the site is not updated very often and again, the home study will take a few months, at least.

So now that I've totally overwhelmed you with information , I hope this helps a little and I wish you a lot of Good Luck on your journey! Please keep us posted.
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  #4  
June 18th, 2009, 01:09 PM
brandimomof2's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2008
Location: TX
Posts: 2,413
Thank you. I just went through my miscarriage on Monday night and it was so horrible. I was rushed to the hopital due to hemmorage. I am now recovering.

I am so sad to hear that its nearly impossible to adopt a baby. I know older children deserve good homes to but I just really had my heart set on a baby.

Thank you for the info.
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  #5  
June 18th, 2009, 06:06 PM
Jessa78's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Lynchburg, VA
Posts: 903
I know that pain and I'm terribly sorry for what you're going through.
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Jessa, married to Blake these past fourteen years. Beginning the adoption process.

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  #6  
June 18th, 2009, 08:48 PM
BensMom's Avatar Ephesians 4:29
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: The Lonestar State
Posts: 50,214
Hey... I just learned something cool tonight! If you go through the foster system in TX and end up with a hard-to-place child (sibling group, older than 6, disability, etc.), they get a free education at any TX college! How cool is that?

I also know your pain. I've had many, many losses. Thankfully, the only time I was rushed to the hospital for a big hemmorage, I ended up with Daniel 29 weeks later. Both of my boys are a gift from God. Neither should've lived, for more reasons than one.
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  #7  
June 19th, 2009, 06:52 AM
mswordwiz's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: ATL
Posts: 1,902
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jessa78 View Post
First of all, and I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I agree that the experience is life altering. DH and I are currently pursuing adoption through our state of Virginia. Please understand, my answers to your questions will come only from my own personal experiences with our local Department of Social Services.

1.) We were told right up front that adopting an infant through DSS is nearly impossible - unless you are willing to foster the child first. There has to be a lot going on in a home before DSS will remove a child (especially in a recession, sadly) and for at least the first year of the legal process, the goal is usually to reunite that child with his/her family. We were told that, on average, complete termination of the child's parental rights takes three years. So even if the child was taken from their parents at birth, it would be years before they could be legally adopted.

That being said, there can be exceptions: parents who terminate their own rights at birth, for instance. Still, DSS will usually try to find a member of that baby's family to step up and accept responsibility of the infant.

2.) It took us about six months to be approved as foster/adoptive parents and according to our worker, that was a very fast turnaround. I believe it usually takes 9 months to a year. To become approved, you will need a completed and approved home study and although the process can be daunting at times, it is also very rewarding. We've been approved for two months and we are waiting to be matched with a child. We're in discussions with several workers about several children and things look promising but I'll be honest and say, nothing happens quickly.

3.) To get information, I would suggest you contact your local DSS. You can go to your state's website and follow the links there to find the name of a contact. You can also contact a local adoption agency (if there is one in your area) but it is usually less expensive, or even free, to go directly through your DSS.

I highly recommend requesting information from the Dave Thomas Foundation. It's free and very thorough and will give provide you with a list of reputable resources within your own state. You may also want to check out the photo-listings of children currently available for adoption through your state (i.e. - AdoptUsKids - Children In Foster Care Awaiting Adoption) but I feel I need to caution you not to fall in love with a particular child (if you can help it) as the site is not updated very often and again, the home study will take a few months, at least.

So now that I've totally overwhelmed you with information , I hope this helps a little and I wish you a lot of Good Luck on your journey! Please keep us posted.
Everything she said.....

I would also try faith based agencies in your state, and see what they can do. I know that you have your heart set on an infant, but an older child out of diapers is what we requested, and somehow in the past 2.5 years I now have 6 kiddos (((grin))).
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And now there are 6....
Traci 14
Leigh 9
Brandon 6
Suzanne (1-18-2009)
Kyle & Luke (1-22-2009)

"Anyone engaging in illegal financial transactions will be caught and persecuted." --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Sept. 19, 2008

Another day, another 72% for the same work, different pay......
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  #8  
July 11th, 2009, 02:25 PM
~Ivy~'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: The Desert
Posts: 1,989
We adopted from the foster care system in Texas as has another family we know. It can be difficult to get an infant, BUT if you look into a sibling group, your chances go higher. And yes, there are many black, male children out there (my friend has 5 of them!) If you are willing to go beyond racial lines, you have a better chance. My friend got I think 4 of her children as infants (one set of twins.) Good luck!
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Ivy
Mommy of Destiny, Jon, Staci, Luke, and our newest addition Jake!

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