Log In Sign Up

For those who have adopted from foster care


Forum: Adoption

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Adoption LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
August 14th, 2009, 12:55 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Oklahoma City, OK
Posts: 18,951
Hi, I'm new here. My husband and I are in the process of adoption through foster care. We are not foster parents and this would only be for adoption for us. We are about halfway through our classes and should be starting our home study very soon. I have to admit that the classes are scaring me a bit. We have two daughter, my step daughter is 15 and our daughter is almost 4. We lost our infant son almost 2 years ago and that is why have decided to adopt. We are wanting a little boy age 3 and younger. My question is, for those who have gone this route, did your children have significant emotional problems when they came to you? I'm scared that I won't be able to be a good mom to a child with a lot of problems. Unfortunately since we already have a young one in the home we are having to be very careful about the child we adopt. My dh's cousin has a foster child right now who is 3 and for the most part she's fine. In fact she's staying with us over the weekend. They just make it sound so scary and hard and that every child will have such significant problems. Has anyone adopted one as young as we are hoping to and do they tend to remember a lot of the trauma?
__________________


Thanks Jaidynsmum for my beautiful siggy!
Reply With Quote
  #2  
August 15th, 2009, 07:43 PM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 4,847
Hi and welcome! I'm Beth. I have one bio daughter on earth and one bio son in heaven. I'm a foster parent who hopes to adopt too. I haven't adopted yet. We have had our foster son for over a year now. Though we hoped to adopt him (which is why he was moved to us) he is now going to be reunited with his paternal grandmother. He is severely developmentally delayed and autistic. But we said we would welcome children who had many special needs.

I think all adopted kids have some "issues" that they have to work through. Obviously the older the children are when they come into care and are adopted, the harder it will be for them. But I can tell even my little man was SO sad when he first came to my home. He just didn't understand at all what was happening (the thing I will hate the most when he leaves).

Many kids in foster care have issues. It is EXTRAORDINARILY rare to adopt a newborn through foster care (without having fostered that child), so you are usually their 2nd, 3rd, or more mother whom they've known and loved. Think how stressful that would be to you and then imagine being a small child who didn't understand this whole foster business anyway.

I always have said, go into it expecting it to be hard but looking for the good at every turn.
__________________
VIEW MY BLOG



Thank you to AlexAiden Mommy for my beautiful siggie!
Reply With Quote
  #3  
August 16th, 2009, 08:19 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Oklahoma City, OK
Posts: 18,951
Thanks. I guess the classes are just scary.
__________________


Thanks Jaidynsmum for my beautiful siggy!
Reply With Quote
  #4  
August 18th, 2009, 05:15 PM
Veteran
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 135
Chrisa, I totally agree with you. They do make it sound really really hard and scary. I too wonder...wondered...if I could be a good mother to a child with significant issues. The answer is yes, but you need a strong support system. Build search and find anything, and resource whether it be books, others that have adopted, message boards. I think we'll be okay though
Reply With Quote
  #5  
August 27th, 2009, 11:38 AM
LadyLacy's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 818
they do that to prepare you, not all cases will be like the cases they describe
__________________


M/C 6wks 4days Jan09 & 4wks 5days Nov 05, 3/25/09dnc[10wks 3d]Jan/24/2010[11wks baby stopped growing at 7+ wks]
Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:35 PM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0