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He might stay! - Nevermind


Forum: Adoption

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  #1  
October 11th, 2009, 02:33 PM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 4,847
Ahh! This case is just nuts!

So CW emailed me to say that I should be prepared to testify at the TPR hearing about what Lil Buddy's daily care is like and such. Also be ready to say if we still want to adopt or not. DH dropped the bomb that he doesn't really want to adopt Lil Buddy and I BROKE DOWN on him. I don't think he expected that. I told him that I've accepted that it is God's Will if he is moved back to his bio family, but I CANNOT accept that we would just give him to another adoptive family. I think he is scared. He doesn't understand the autism and is very frightened of the future for us. I say that Lil Buddy is my son. So DH came back after a couple of days and a few books on autism and he's decided that he can do it. He wants to do it. So we'll adopt if he's available for adoption.

The county where the bio family resides doesn't want them to have him. Sad situation all the way around. I just am not sure at all if it'll work for him or not. I'll just tell the truth at the TPR hearing and we'll leave it up to God for sure.

I find my hopes rising that he could be my son.

*************EDIT*********
Nevermind. Got a call this morning that his bio family's county has decided that they WILL persue RU. However there is about 3-6 months worth of work to go into it. Sigh. It's just freaking ridiculous!
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Last edited by SarahBethsMommy; October 13th, 2009 at 07:45 AM.
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  #2  
October 13th, 2009, 09:03 AM
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Aww, that's just heart breaking
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  #3  
October 13th, 2009, 05:19 PM
LadyLacy's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 818
Im so very sorry (((Beth)))) my prayers are with you all
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  #4  
November 16th, 2009, 09:44 AM
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How long has he been in foster care? It sounds like you've had him a while and if his bio parents drag their feet they might just lose rights because of the ADSFA. Do you think they're really dedicated to getting him back or they're just trying to get him back for the sake of having him? *hugs* I'm sorry if you lose him
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  #5  
November 16th, 2009, 04:31 PM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
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Well, we have court on Monday (the 23rd) to decide if we'll TPR or not. The judge has 30 days from the day of court to make her decision, so we should know by Christmas, hopefully.

He's been in foster care since he was 5 months old (so over 2 years now), but his father did not even come into the picture until a little over one year ago (two months after he moved to our home).

I think they love him a lot and want to do everything they can to get him back. I'm just not sure they understand what kind of extensive care he needs and how much work that is 24/7.
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  #6  
November 16th, 2009, 07:16 PM
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Maybe if the bio dad is fully informed of how much work this boy is he may realize he's not equipped to handle it and give up rights. It's stereotpical but most single (I'm assuming) men aren't equipped to be a parent to a health child, nonetheless one with special needs. Most people in general aren't really ready for that. I'm sure the case worker can talk to him and maybe help things along. While the "goal" is always reunification...good case workers can tell when that's not the best idea.
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  #7  
November 17th, 2009, 05:04 AM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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He won't have custody, but he lives with his mother and she might be able to have custody. They are well informed but hearing it and actually dealing with it are two totally different things, know what I mean? We have two many caseworkers involved I think. Our caseworker is amazing and is working hard for Lil Buddy's best interests. The caseworker in bio family's county (so kind of their caseworker) seems to not want to do the hard work that goes along with transferring between counties. Of course that's just my biased opinion, but we'vehad lots of issues. This really should have been done 6 months ago. Anyway, it's a very long and convuluted case.
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  #8  
November 21st, 2009, 01:58 PM
Just_Marie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Good luck to you on Monday!
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