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I'd love to hear your story! I read something you posted on another one of the JM boards about your daughter. Can you tell us how you came to wanting to adopt and anything else you'd wish to share about your family?
Well, she's not legally adopted yet, but hopefully She will be. Because of some circumstances surrounding April's situation, I can't say everything publicly, but I'll say some things. (BTW, April isn't her real name but I'm using it on this site) Anyway, it's really a unique circumstance.
I actually found April almost 3 years ago posting on a message board for teens who have issues with self harm and have been abused. I've gone on that site for years to help others and she really caught my eye... She told me all these horror stories of physical and sexual abuse that occured with her, and how it was impossible to get help because of local street gangs and corruption in the law enforcement. Some of the things she told me made Dave Pelzer and Sybil look like they had it easy... After 2 years we developed a very close mother-daughter relationship, and she lived with me this summer where I was able to take care of her. April's functioning is really off balance because she's HIGHLY intelligent and talented creatively, but she has very little understanding of emotions, human behavior, how to behave in a non-abusive home, she struggles with life skills and internally she's very underdeveloped. She has PTSD, disossciative disorders and lots of other issues. A big problem is that most people think she can and is capable of behaving her age, but she isn't developed enough. Most people don't understand that she can't just "grow up" and that she needs time to be a child and be nutured before she can grow.
Sadly right now I don't have April But... I'm working on her getting back ASAP. I can't really talk about why but, it's difficult. I didn't think I'd post this information...because most people in my life don't consider April my daughter, even though when she is with me and when I have her again we live that way, she calls me Mommy, and I take care of her. But well, I love her, feed her, read to her, sing her to sleep, protect her, teach her things, play with her and help her dress and bathe, and that's what really counts right? I hope you all think so...
Many of us on here are foster parents or foster to adopt parents, so I completely understand that even though she isn't "technically" your daughter, she is very very much your daughter in the real sense of the word. My sweet foster son has been with us for over a year now and his only word is "ma-ma" which is said to ME. I didn't teach him that, he just has started to call me that. So even though he isn't my birth son, he is my son and no matter where he goes he always will be my son.
I pray for your situation and that April is able to be safe and feel secure!