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How do you prepare to adopt a baby?


Forum: Adoption

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  #1  
May 6th, 2010, 06:57 AM
SuperMartianRobotMom6's Avatar Proud Mama & Happy Wife
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I mean the thought perplexes me..

I mean my plan was to get my husband on board
I thought it would take a lot longer...

now im stumped.

I know the technical (papers ect..) stuff..

But their rooms
toys
clothing.

How do you plan for it?
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  #2  
May 6th, 2010, 08:38 AM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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You can't until you know the child. Since you are going the international route, you'll know in PLENTY of time to get all that ready for whatever child you get. It'll be different depending on the sex of the child, age of the child and developmental readiness of the child. You can start saving for it all though.

I'd do more on the research side of things. Make sure you know all the ins and outs of adoption from whichever country you decide to go to. Know their age requirements and how long you must be married. If you can get started with paperwork before that comes up. If you have to travel there how many times do you go and do both you and your DH have to go or just one of you. Start getting together things for passports. Stuff like that.
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  #3  
May 6th, 2010, 08:43 AM
SuperMartianRobotMom6's Avatar Proud Mama & Happy Wife
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Yeah, Ive been through all of that

I kinda want to start now... Is that normal?
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  #4  
May 6th, 2010, 08:49 AM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Sure, it's like anyone who is planning for a baby. You want it to GET HERE ALREADY. LOL.

If you were fostering, there'd be a lot more to get, since you'd have a chance of having pretty much any kid. With adoption though, it's a lot more like the longest pregnancy you'll ever experience.
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  #5  
May 6th, 2010, 08:55 AM
SuperMartianRobotMom6's Avatar Proud Mama & Happy Wife
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Yeah I figured... The average is like 12-18 months for Russia..
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  #6  
May 6th, 2010, 09:11 AM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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From my friends who are adopting from Russia right now, it has been extended a lot since the incident with a disruption. My friends were almost done, and have been put off 6 more months just from that. The US consulant is trying to get things settled down, so hopefully it'll be back to normal by the time you get rolling.
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  #7  
May 6th, 2010, 09:13 AM
SuperMartianRobotMom6's Avatar Proud Mama & Happy Wife
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Thats the one thing I dont like, while were waiting in america for our baby. She or he or preferably they'll be waiting in Russia. I wonder if there is a way to hire a nanny to care for them.
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  #8  
May 6th, 2010, 09:20 AM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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No. You are not their parents yet and they are still Russian citizens. You can send gifts, but the orphanages discourage too much (makes other kids jealous). You do have to travel to Russia a few times before you can bring them home, but there are limits on how long you can stay each time. My friends have been 3 times so far and have once more to get their baby and bring her home. She is now 14 months old and they've been working since before she was born to get her.
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  #9  
May 6th, 2010, 09:40 AM
eash's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I would start by reading books about attachment and bonding with adopted kids. Also, you should probably look into FAS and RAD if the child is coming from Russia - you have a very high chance of it with Russian kids.

I agree, the child is not yours until he steps on American soil. You have no say in his care or development. It is hard but just the first in many hurdles.

Also, if you plan on Russia and work, you will need to figure out how to spend 4 weeks in country. Russia requires two trips, the first is less than a week and second is 3-4 weeks. I believe both parents have to go on each trip.

Typically, you will have to stop TTC during the adoption process according to most agency rules.
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  #10  
May 6th, 2010, 09:50 AM
SuperMartianRobotMom6's Avatar Proud Mama & Happy Wife
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Wow 14 months, thats so heart breaking. Yeah I was reading that you can only visit them twice a day for a certain amount of time. I was googling if we were allowed to send letters or pictures but I couldnt get a definate answer. :/ Other than that, were looking into the paperwork. And trying to discuss when is the best time to start the process.

But ashley only one of the parents has to go at a time, it doesnt have to be both. I looked that up specifically because it would be feesable if we both had to go.
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  #11  
May 6th, 2010, 10:00 AM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I thought it was both too, so I just looked it up in multiple places. Here is the quote from adoption.com, but I found it everywhere I looked...

Quote:
Travel Requirements: Two trips are usually required for both parents. The first trip is a one-week stay in Russia; the second trip requires a two- to three-week stay.
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  #12  
May 6th, 2010, 10:02 AM
SuperMartianRobotMom6's Avatar Proud Mama & Happy Wife
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Wow no way, I talked to the woman on the phone and she said one parent would suffice.

Maybe its different for different agencies?

Well that does make it harder... Not that Im detered... It is what it is
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  #13  
May 6th, 2010, 10:04 AM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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It's a country requirement, not an agency one. Russia makes that rule.
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  #14  
May 6th, 2010, 10:07 AM
SuperMartianRobotMom6's Avatar Proud Mama & Happy Wife
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Oh well.
Im looking at the children waiting to be adopted on adoption.com.. Im making myself cry.
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