Log In Sign Up

New to board and thinking about adoption


Forum: Adoption

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Adoption LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
May 10th, 2010, 08:27 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Grand Rapids Michigan United States
Posts: 2,890
My name is Laura. My husband is named Steve. We had identical twin girls at 28 weeks due to me having HELLP Syndrome. Madison was born with a Left Sided Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia. She passed away after a 5 month NICU stay. McKenzie is now 2 1/2 and is perfectly healthy. I still do not feel like our family is complete. I would be a very high risk pregnancy for a lot of reasons. I know I am not ready to adopt tomorrow because I still have to work through my grief. How did you guys get to the point where you felt like you wanted to adopt? I just have a lot of questions. Any advice appreciated.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
May 11th, 2010, 02:49 AM
SuperMartianRobotMom6's Avatar Proud Mama & Happy Wife
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: New York
Posts: 3,695
Welcome to the board!
Before you start thinking about adoption I would wait until you've grieved the loss of your daughter. Im so incredibly sorry for what you've been through.
After you feel ready to make a big life decision, talk to your husband about it and google adoption. See if your intrested in domestic or international. Gather some information and be informed before you make a decision.
__________________









Reply With Quote
  #3  
May 11th, 2010, 07:44 AM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 4,847
Hey Laura! Welcome over here!

I think we've talked about my story, but I'll tell it here so others can read it too.

I always knew I wanted to foster and adopt. It really wasn't a question to me as I grew up wanting it. But I always wanted my biological family first. I wanted to have 2-3 kids naturally and then adopt one or two more. Then Sarah Beth was born so early and so sick that I feared we'd lose her. If we didn't lose her I was SO sure at the time that I could never do it again. Then we "accidentally" got pregnant with Bryan Luke. When he died I decided very quickly I could never go through that pain again. I know you understand.

Then a few months later, after working through our grief (of course, that's an ongoing process) DH came to me and said he'd like to look into the foster system. We started the paperwork the next day. As we went through the classes, they brought a lot more grief to the surface. DH and I realized that the grief we felt was very similar to the grief these kids felt. Losing someone you love is a very real thing to these kids. We spent a lot of time crying. A lot of time worrying that we'd never be able to love a child as much as we loved our Bryan Luke and Sarah Beth. And even more time wondering if we were somehow trying to "replace" Bryan Luke.

In the end we came to the conclusion that we had to answers to why we couldn't seem to have natural children easily. We knew that in all things there are no guarentees and perhaps that is even more true in having children. We decided that we could help these children and they could help us too. And we were willing to say goodbye again if it came to that. Whatever was given to us... however much time, we'd cherish it and put our whole selves into it and the rest we'd leave up to God.

We've said goodbye to numerous foster children over these past couple of years. Most only stayed with us a few days. Our Lil Buddy is still in limbo... not knowing if he'll stay or leave, but it is almost easier to know what might happen then to just lose someone without that previous knowledge (like Bryan Luke).

I don't really know if that makes sense at all. But I hope it does a bit.
__________________
VIEW MY BLOG



Thank you to AlexAiden Mommy for my beautiful siggie!
Reply With Quote
  #4  
May 11th, 2010, 11:31 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Grand Rapids Michigan United States
Posts: 2,890
Thanks for the advice! We are still working through our grief. I am just curious about adopting. It is not something we are thinking of doing in the near future. I guess i will do some more research.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
May 11th, 2010, 03:39 PM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 4,847
Feel free to come and ask questions and hang out to listen to stories!
__________________
VIEW MY BLOG



Thank you to AlexAiden Mommy for my beautiful siggie!
Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:57 AM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0