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Homestudy Information


Forum: Adoption

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  #1  
July 15th, 2010, 10:08 AM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
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For those who have had homestudies done, I thought we could help inform those who are waiting to have them. I know I was very worried before mine just from the unknown. So, what are some things that you wish you'd known or you would pass along to others awaiting their homestudy.

A few from me...

- It's not that scarey. I was so worried they'd be looking for stuff that was wrong and going over my home with a white glove. But it wasn't bad at all. I enjoyed it!
- They interview everyone in the home individually and ask lots of personal questions. Don't get offended by them.
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  #2  
July 20th, 2010, 01:55 PM
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I'd love to get soem more information on homestudies, I'm curious about them.
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  #3  
July 20th, 2010, 05:28 PM
SuperMartianRobotMom6's Avatar Proud Mama & Happy Wife
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What kind of personal questions?
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  #4  
July 21st, 2010, 04:52 AM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OperationBabyDance View Post
What kind of personal questions?
Some of the things that suprised me were:
-"What do you and your DH argue about most?"
-"When you argue how do you do it usually?"

And they asked about ALL our financials, of course. And about the death of our son and how that affected us and how it might affect our fostering and adopting children. And about our relationships with our families. DH's family is a little out there and he didn't have the best childhood so they spent a lot of time on that too.

None of it was stuff I really talked about with strangers, you know, but it wasn't bad. Just personal.

A few other things they looked at hard...
Did we have working fire extinguishers near the doors. Not the little kitchen ones, the bigger ones.
Did we have working smoke detectors (all over the house).
Did we have all our medications locked up (we used a toolbox and put a masterlock on it).
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  #5  
July 23rd, 2010, 03:52 AM
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Location: Minnesota
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Our homestudy was a breeze! Like Beth said, was SO worried that the house needed to be spotlessly clean... it didn't at all. The questions were tough ones but if you are confident in your marriage then they shouldn't be too hard to answer. We were asked about our childhoods, our parents, the kinds of discipline that was used in our homes growing up, what kinds of discipline we intend to use, the "how do you fight/resolve conflict" ones, how will you handle any cross-cultural differences...

All in all, we had two meetings, both were in our home and about 2 hours long each. After the first one, the second one was much less nerve wracking. And when it was all over I can remember saying... "That's it?".
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  #6  
July 23rd, 2010, 08:38 AM
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Thank you for the information! I know it'll come in handy when I start the adoption process.
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Thank you to the wonderful ladies who mad the blinkies!

"The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude..... These experiences, while often difficult to bear at the time, are percisely the kinds of experiences that stretch our understanding, build our character and increase our compassion for others."
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  #7  
September 1st, 2010, 09:56 AM
wishfulgal
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Bump for a question.

When they ask about discipline do they have a problem with spanking? We do and plan to continue both spanking and time-outs depending on the situation. That is what works for our family, and I don't want to lie about it...
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  #8  
September 1st, 2010, 03:51 PM
Just_Marie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 28,175
We did a private direct adoption, so we didn't have one; neither judge nor bio fam requested it, and social services had no interest in us, saved us $2k and some stress, and time
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  #9  
September 1st, 2010, 06:07 PM
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I don't think spanking would disqualify you. A expectant mom will have access to your homestudy and if it's not something that they are comfortable with they just might not choose you, but I don't think that it will make your chances any less because of it.

You are right, I wouldn't want to lie about that kind of stuff either.
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  #10  
September 1st, 2010, 07:52 PM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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As a foster parent we are not allowed to spank at all. Well, we aren't allowed to spank foster children. Once they are adopted and it is official, we can spank if that's what we choose. We've chosen not to spank any of the kids since it'd be confusing to spank some and not others.

However, I think with private adoption they probably don't care. If it is asked, I'd bet they are looking for more along the lines of you aren't beating them more than a normal spanking.
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  #11  
September 1st, 2010, 09:31 PM
Jessie0505's Avatar Finally a Mommy!
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well these girls said it very well..however i did have to get into some traumatic events in my life (like a pp said about the death of her son) b/c they want to know how you handle loss. All it really is, is getting to know you inside and out to feel safe with you caring for these children.

I will be a foster parent as well..we are not allowed to spank b/c we dont know what kind of history they have had and you dont want to traumatize a child anymore then he/she already is!

I loved the homestudy! I couldnt wait till the next time we met..well now its all done...oh well! LOL!!
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