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Forum: Adoption

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  #1  
October 27th, 2010, 09:21 AM
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It's been awhile since I've had time to check the board, just wanted to share that we got a phone call this morning about the little boy in Ohio and the workers want us to come meet him before they make a final decision on the 10th!!!!
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  #2  
October 27th, 2010, 09:26 AM
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woohoo! congrats!
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  #3  
October 27th, 2010, 09:38 AM
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From what I understand once his profile was sent to families that were interested the number of truly interested families dropped significantly. Our SW thinks we may be the only family or the most suitable of the few left since the child's SW called her and threw out this idea and talked with our worker for over 2 hours regarding the child and our family. We would be driving 3-3.5 maybe even 4 hours each way to spend the day with him and see what life would be like if this little guy was our son. My nerves are an absolute wreck, lol. I'm excited, scared and nervous but I know this is definitely what my hubby and I want
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  #4  
October 27th, 2010, 06:50 PM
txjovigal's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Good Luck! I hope this is it for you!
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  #5  
October 27th, 2010, 09:37 PM
AlexKatieAiden Mommy's Avatar Linda
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Congrats!!!
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  #6  
October 27th, 2010, 09:49 PM
Just_Marie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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hope all works out for you!
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  #7  
October 28th, 2010, 08:23 AM
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My parents aren't handling the autism part very well as of right now. This is pretty difficult for me. I know they can and will love him if we do adopt him though, just wish they were more supportive right now though. I've been doing a lot of reading and research on autism and feel it will be very difficult but definitely seems where the good Lord is pointing us right now. Anyone know of any good autism sites, books, groups?
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  #8  
October 29th, 2010, 08:34 AM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Google Autism Society of [your state]. There you can find support groups and such in your own area. What level of autism does he have? Is he on the more severe side of the spectrum or quite high functioning? Somewhere in the middle? My foster son is on the more severe side. He is 3.5 years old and doesn't speak or walk yet. He has a lot of stims, but he isn't violent. He is in physical therapy, occupational therapy, speech therapy and feeding therapy and we are working on getting him into ABA therapy as well.

Another GREAT site is TACA (Talk About Curing Autism) It has a ton of resources for you.

The Dr. Sears book featured on the above site is fabulous for those who have just gotten a diagnosis or just met the child! I think that if you sign up with TACA right now they send you the book for free, but that may be a thing with our local TACA group, so don't quote me on it.

I found the book Let Me Hear Your Voice by Catherine Maurice a wonderfully inspiring book! I also liked Jenny McCarthy's book, but I don't totally agree with her ideas on everything.

We have a DAN doctor who we work with too and that helps a lot. A lot really depends on the spectrum he is on.

Good luck and feel free to PM anytime!!
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  #9  
October 29th, 2010, 09:38 AM
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SarahBethsMommy--He is on the very severe side. He's 6, walks and runs...non verbal and not potty trained. He's diagnosed as being severely ADHD and in need of constant supervision and to be on a harness. I'm really confused about their evaluations though. They claim he is very affectionate and loving and likes to be held and touched but also he doesn't interact with other children and seems to ignore them. I was under the assumption that most autistic children that weren't very interactive weren't very affectionate. They did tell us that his foster mother recently passed away about 6-7 months ago. So could that possibly have some type of impact?

Also, what types of toys do you use with dfs? I'm aware that he will probably need special toys because he is more tactile and likes to touch and feel things.
I have also looked up and researched ABA therapy. I think it's a good idea, but the child's worker seems to think it's a lost cause because he's low functioning. But, I feel in my heart he could benefit.
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  #10  
October 29th, 2010, 01:28 PM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Autism has such a wide variety of manifestations. Some kids don't like to be touched, but some love it. Some are extremely loving and affectionate. My foster son is like that. He loves to snuggle and be held close. Most autistic kids don't like change much, so yes, a death like that can affect him a lot.

My foster son loves books. We use a lot of picture books to work on his words. We also use picture symbols (called PECS) that allow him ways to communicate. We're working on sign language as well. Anything and everything to help him find ways to communicate. He also loves textures. He loves playing in bowls of rice (we put small toys in there for him to get out to work on fine motor skills). He likes the books that allow you to touch things (Pat the Bunny for instance). He also loves music and lights, so we use things that have that.

I think the most important thing is to be ok with where he is right now but never stop fighting to get him to learn more and be more. If you can't love him where he is right now for a LONG time (possibly forever) then rethink your idea to adopt him. But if you think he'll never learn more or do more and therefore give up on him you aren't doing any good either. I'd personally tell the worker to shut up and do everything you can for him. ABA might not work for him, but it might! And if he does nothing more than learn to potty on his own, what a great gift that'd be for you all!! Who cares if it isn't that he's suddenly "perfect." Sorry, it just makes me mad whenever someone implies one of our children is a "lost cause."

What therapies does he receive right now?
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  #11  
October 29th, 2010, 06:43 PM
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Beth, I totally agree with you and love this child the same even if he never learned another thing. After struggling with infertility and the inabilty to have a bio child I feel that any child is a blessing regardless of how they are or problems they wold have. I'd love him like he was my own.

Right now he's thrown into a special ed public preschool. His foster mother unexpectedly passed away and he's being raised in a home of 6 children by a single father. All the children are adopted/fostered and have some type of severe disability, so I'm worried he's not getting the encouragement and support and individualized attention he really needs.

I work for my dad as a secretary so if we adopt him he will never be left with a sitter or in a daycare and I would provide as much stimulating educational things I could think of for him. Not to mention, for once in his life (he came from a family 8 in his birth family 6 children and his parents) he'd have some one on one attention. I really think it would do a lot for the little guy. I was just floored and heartbroken that his SW hasn't utilized the resources and benefits he is eligible for that could really be beneficial for him.

We're praying hard though, they make a final decision on November 10th, and they are suppose to be setting up a day for us to go spend time with him before hand to see how he takes to us and we do with him. Keep your fingers crossed!
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  #12  
November 2nd, 2010, 01:58 PM
tawny63's Avatar Super Mommy
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I have to say that I was a para educator for two severe boys that were brothers with autism...and if I would have snuggled them all day long, they would have let me. They were so affectionate that it was actually hard to make strives in their abilities b/c they would distract the therapists. lol They were main streamed into an elementary school and with a lot of special ed assistance, the older boy is potty trained and the younger one is close. I will pray for your family and you - how exciting! Big life change for him, I'm SURE for the best!
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IUI 11/06 BFP!!! Labeled as chemical
12/06 clomid 50mg=INSANITY and OHSS
Decided to adopt 01/07
raced to the hospital to get our baby boy in August 2007, 12 days after we went "live" to adopt!
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Endometriosis surgery 01/16/09
Femara+IUI 03/09, 04/09, 05/09, 06/09 BFN's
07/09: mixture of acupuncture, herbs, hope, and prayers
09/2009~too much pain, had to go on BCP's.
06/10: Starting adoption process again!!!!!
10/13/10: Adoption paperwork done...now just pray and wait....
01/07/11 profiles turned into the adoption agency.
Matched April 1st, 2011 with a baby girl!
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  #13  
November 2nd, 2010, 05:00 PM
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Ty tawny! We get to meet him face to face this weekend! If all goes well it looks like he will be joining our family!
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  #14  
November 2nd, 2010, 05:25 PM
AlexKatieAiden Mommy's Avatar Linda
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Congrat's on everything!!!! Two of my kiddos are on the spectrum but they are both on the mild end. They are the most affectionate kids I have ever seen. They love hugs and to snuggle.
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