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me again, havent been around in forever...now i have a question


Forum: Adoption

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  #1  
December 19th, 2010, 07:40 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 930
soooo DH and I got custody of his son and his sons brother in may...my last update(forever ago)
now bio mom has seen them 3times since then for 5mins each time, she doesnt call, just texts every couple weeks. The las time we saw her i asked her for a week before she came to not call herself mom to them because they dont know her as mom, it confuses them. we agreed on it, she said she totally understood and said she wouldnt, she promised.
well she came up and my dss called her by her name and each time he did she corrected him and said no im mommy. it frustrated the crap out of me. i understand she is their bio mom, but she doesnt make and effort,and yes they should know who their mom is....when they are old enough to know.
anyways... our littlest one who is his brother from her and another fathers dad has only seen him 2times and the last time was in june when he took him for 2 nights and brought him back in horrible condition. we decided he wouldnt be allowed to take him overnight again. but he hasnt called or asked.
my question is.... im in canada...so maybe the canadian ladies can help.
we have custody and guardianship of both kids, and mom has supervised visitation. Can we file to adopt?
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  #2  
December 21st, 2010, 07:51 PM
Just_Marie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 28,173
I do not know, I'm in the same province.
Bio parents signed consent for guardian for adoption-making us co-guardians with the intent to adopt.
Will bio parents consent to that for each kid?
Obviously dh doesn't have to adopt his own child, but you do.
Did you talk to the court clerk in your town yet?
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  #3  
December 22nd, 2010, 07:11 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 930
i honestly dont think they would agree. they are fine with us raising them,but they want them back someday...which wont happen unless something huge happens.
ive talked to our court counselor, and she said not to rattle them, just leave it as it is and they will just drop out of their lives...but that isnt just what i want. I would love to adopt them both...its just so frustrating.
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  #4  
December 22nd, 2010, 09:21 PM
Just_Marie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 28,173
I guess you could file with the court for adoption, see if they'll consent, then start getting affidavits from everyone you know and who knows them, including sw etc, stating why you two should adopt and how that would be better for the kids.

Now, can you legally adopt if you're guardians, you need to find that out.

of course they want you raising them, and doing all the hard work, who wouldn't? That doesn't mean its what's best for the kids. Usually a permanent, stable home is what is good for preschoolers. Prove why you're better parents than they are.
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  #5  
December 23rd, 2010, 08:36 AM
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 930
the funny part is both her and the babys dads parents think we should have them permanently. They have asked them numerous times why they dont just sign their rights over to us and be done with it.
we have alot of people that would be on our side for them being permanently living with us. we are also in the process of the foster-to-adopt training so we can add to our family sometime. (after life gets settled with these two) and because they offer awesome training to deal with foster kids, and i think the training would help with these two also.
we arent the first people they have been left with in their short lives, they have been left at many peoples houses, for long periods of time, we are just the only ones that decided to do something about it.
im not really sure when you have supervised visitation how you can get back to reg. visitation and stuff like that. but i know one thing that she has to do is be stable. and since may she has moved to 2dif. provinces and 6 different places. she doesnt work, etc. so it wont be happening anytime soon.
im going to ask my court counsellor about adopting if we are guardians...or if we can just terminate guardianship on them.
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