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Bit by the adoption bug again!


Forum: Adoption

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  #1  
March 5th, 2011, 04:42 PM
esparando para bebé's Avatar Proud Car Seat Technician
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Once again I feel the overwhelming desire to say "screw you" to ttc and adopt. DH, however, while willing to adopt still wants to wait. Any suggestions on how to convince him to open up to it now? I'm sick of waiting.
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  #2  
March 5th, 2011, 07:53 PM
LalaCupit's Avatar Super Mommy
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Is there any way explaining to him how loooong it takes to adopt would help? That gives you guys a long time to TTC before you'll even be able to adopt. Good luck sweet!
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  #3  
March 5th, 2011, 08:18 PM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I'm no help at all. My DH is still wondering if we should really go through with the adoption. Although I know he will now, he has his moments. I will say it is so much better if you DON'T pressure him or nag him into it. It really needs to be his choice. Good luck!!
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  #4  
March 6th, 2011, 06:01 AM
quietsong's Avatar Just Another Slacker Mom
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I agree that it definitely needs to be a mutual decision. I would sit him down and talk to him, ask him why he wants to wait, make sure he's clear on how long adoption can take, and try to hash the situation out to find a compromise. You may not come away with anything, but it'll at least give him (you both, really) some good stuff to think about.
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  #5  
March 6th, 2011, 07:40 AM
esparando para bebé's Avatar Proud Car Seat Technician
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His only reasoning so far is money and stuff around the house that needs done. But considering we're planning to adopt from DSS, this doesn't make sense to me. How would it be any different than ttc in that respect? We'd still have to do the things here, except I'd be pregnant and not able to help. As for money, we'd have to buy stuff for a child if I got pregnant so how would buying things for the adopted child be any different?
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  #6  
March 6th, 2011, 12:38 PM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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It has been a lot cheaper for me with my foster kids than my bio kids ever were. Foster care system does try to help with much of the stuff and of course, you are reimbursed all the adoption fees once the adoption is final. So that is really free.
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  #7  
March 20th, 2011, 06:55 PM
Bug-n-Ed's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I felt strongly that we needed to adopt about a year before DH was okay with the idea and put the adoption application in my Christmas stocking one year. Even with that, he didn't understand the need to adopt until we were in the adoption classes and then he, too, felt it was what we were supposed to do.

Just give him time. Men usually have a harder time taking the step into adoption either due to their ego or money. It's hard to admit defeat in the TTC realm.
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  #8  
April 11th, 2011, 02:35 PM
~ Nicole ~'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I would pray for God to put it in your DH's heart. If it is in God's will for you He will make the adoption happen and he will put it in your DH's heart. I prayed for God to put it into my heart what to do if our vasectomy reversal fails. I thought for sure IVF would be the thing but to my complete surprise I started to desire adoption instead and even more to my surprise my DH was actually open to the idea. This is something I never thought I would want and something I definatly never thought my DH would go for. God will make it happen if this is what He wants you to do. Keep praying for God to guide both you and your DH in this decision.
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