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  #1  
April 11th, 2011, 12:58 AM
~ Nicole ~'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Hello, this is my first time posting here. I am wondering if anyone is in the process of adopting internationally or has already. I was originally thinking of doing IVF if our vasectomy reversal fails but for some reason it didnt feel quite right. After a lot of praying I suddenly felt it in my heart that God was telling me to adopt. I than went online and looked at photos and saw all the smiling children and it just felt so right. This is something I never thought would be right for me but it suddenly feels right now. In fact I feel so strongly that this is what God wants for us that I feel like I would want to adopt even if we are still able to have another biological child. I was wondering about what is the cost of adopting internationally? Is it any less than the u.s.? I know its probably still expensive but I feel better putting 10's of thousands into adoption and bringing home a child as appose to putting tens of thousands into IVF and possibly getting nothing. I am thinking of a child between the ages of 3-6. Is it easier to find a child this age internationally? Thank you to anyone who can help.
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  #2  
April 11th, 2011, 11:17 AM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I'm a foster to adopt mom in the US, so I've not done international adoption myself, but I know a few folks on here have either done it or looked into doing it. I researched it heavily before making the decision to foster to adopt domestically. It is VERY expensive. I believe a standard amount to pay (all costs) is around $20-$30K. It depends on how many times you have to travel to that country (if at all) and which agency you pick, obviously. And a lot depends on the country you choose as well. Right now there are a number of countries that are closed to US adoptions, but there are many who are open. The friends I have who have adopted internationally have gotten kids home who are around 2 years old or so. They were matched with that child earlier (around one year or even a little earlier).

I'm not sure if any of that helped, but I hope your research yields much results! Keep us posted on your journey!!
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  #3  
April 11th, 2011, 12:11 PM
mamma_anna's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Hi Nicole.
I remember you from the christian parenting board. Don't have any advice on international adoption. Ours was a kinship adoption. But I hope you can get some good info here. I'm praying for you. Good luck.
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  #4  
April 11th, 2011, 02:07 PM
~ Nicole ~'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Thanks I looked further and one agency did list prices. Its around 25k not including travel expenses. Thats kind of what I expected.

SarahBethsMommy: What you said makes me think about fostering. That is something I thought of before but than I wasnt sure if that was permanant or not. When I was younger I knew a teenager who was in foster care and she said it was just until her mom recovered from drug abuse. So I thought most foster situations were only temporary. I really would want something permanant as I know I will get attached. The reason international adoption appeals to me is because I feel this strong calling to help take a child out of poverty and/or from am orphan situation and finally give them their own family and home. But right now Im just starting to gather ideas. What is the expense of foster to adoption? Are many of the children available to foster also available for permanant adoption? I was also wondering... is it any less expensive to adopt an older child in the u.s. verses an infant or toddler? I know the infant/toddlers in the u.s. are quickly adopted but that doesnt feel right for me. I feel the need to either help a child in poverty or an older child who may have otherwise remained without a family for a long time.

Mamma_Anna: Hello! Small world. What is a kinship adoption? Im gathering ideas. Im not sure what is the right thing for us right now but I keep praying about it and I know God will show us a clear answer. I know he put adoption on my heart and it would be amazing to make it a reality someday. Before I was putting my happiness on wether or not the vasectomy reversal would work or not. For 2 years I thought if it would fail than I would be devastated the rest of my life to never have another child. I started praying about this and God put adoption in my heart and now I no longer feel all consumed in the reversal. I would still love to have another biological child but now I would love to adopt regardless.
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  #5  
April 11th, 2011, 03:05 PM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Well, there are multiple options within the foster system.

Straight Fostering -- This is people who choose to take only the kid who need temporary homes. These parents do not plan to adopt the children they care for. They are used as usually short term placements for kids whose parents are working a plan to get them back or who are waiting to find a family member who can be approved to take that child. I do this as well... just take the temporary placements. My strong feeling is that, although I get so attached and adore the children who come through my home, I'm willing to hurt a while so that they have a stable, loving home while they wait to find their forever home.

Foster to Adopt -- I do this mainly. This is when a child is in foster care or comes into care and it looks like there is no one in their biological family who can take good care of them for whatever reason. Now, this is not a definite. The kids can look like they are about to lose all ties to their biological family and then someone comes forward who no one knew existed and suddenly that child is moved home. This happens often, but NOT always. You have to be willing to say goodbye knowing that although it hurts, you have given that child the best life during the time they could not be with their family.

Adoption through Foster Care -- This is where you go through all the classes and approvals that the foster parents do, but you decide that you want to only adopt. You don't want the possibility that the child would leave your home. Most the kids who are available for adoption this way have special needs of some kind. Many are older... in their late childhood years. Some of them are in sibling groups (so they want them all adopted together if at all possible). You can see the kids who are available for adoption at the website AdoptUSKids.org.

All of these options are free (unless you hire your own lawyer). Sometimes you have to pay some costs upfront but they will be reimbursed. You will get a board payment each month that the child is foster child and an adoption subsidy each month until that child is an adult. These are to be used to take care of the child. Also, every foster child who is adopted will keep their medicaid insurance until they are an adult as well. If you have insurance, this can be your secondary insurance. If you have more questions, feel free to ask!!
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  #6  
April 11th, 2011, 09:52 PM
mamma_anna's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Kinship adoption is adopting a relative. (neice, nephew, grandchild etc) In our case Ellie's birthmother was my dh's cousin. It was handled like an adoption through foster care. We had to be her foster family for 6 months before *officially starting the adoption process.
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  #7  
April 12th, 2011, 10:24 AM
~ Nicole ~'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Thanks for explaining that all! I was looking online at all the profiles and it just breaks my heart. I can definatly seeing myself adopt an older child. It makes me feel very good to help an older child. I just cannot imagine being a tween/teen and not having a stable home/family. I also have experience with special need children as my oldest son is autistic and dealing with challenges are an everyday thing for us. We are used to extra therapy, doctor appointments, and special education. So I feel like I would have a lot to offer a child who has developement delay or learning/education challenges. I am definatly feeling in my heart this is for us. I feel so eager but first we will need to go from our condo to a house than I think this is very realistic. I really think its wonderful when I see people adopt. Its such a beautiful thing.

Oh one more question... Can a person usually adopt a child from another state? I understand some children want to stay in contact with family/siblings in wich case that would not be the right child for us since I would not want to relocate them. But its seems so hard to find a child who is a perfect match. I really want to find a child wich I could best help and who would best fit into our family and being able to adopt from any state gives many more options.

Just thought of one more question. I noticed that the children in foster care that are available for adoption are usually 10+. And the adoption agencies usually hook up families with birth mothers for babies. So Im wondering were are all the children between the ages of 1-10 that are available for adoption?
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  #8  
April 12th, 2011, 10:30 AM
~ Nicole ~'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Im not really wanting to do the diapers stage but Im thinking between the age of 4-12. Since Im only 28 I cant see myself adopting a child older than 12!
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  #9  
April 12th, 2011, 02:54 PM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ~ Nicole ~ View Post
Oh one more question... Can a person usually adopt a child from another state? I understand some children want to stay in contact with family/siblings in wich case that would not be the right child for us since I would not want to relocate them. But its seems so hard to find a child who is a perfect match. I really want to find a child wich I could best help and who would best fit into our family and being able to adopt from any state gives many more options.

Just thought of one more question. I noticed that the children in foster care that are available for adoption are usually 10+. And the adoption agencies usually hook up families with birth mothers for babies. So Im wondering were are all the children between the ages of 1-10 that are available for adoption?
Yes you can adopt from other states, although it is a bit more complicated. I believe that marienbrian on here is doing just that. Her soon to be adopted son just came home to her from his foster home.

Many kids who are placed in foster homes when they are young are adopted by their foster parents. There definitely ARE kids who are younger waiting to be adopted, but you'll rarely find them on the websites (which is reserved for the kids that the caseworkers think they won't find an adoptive home for).
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  #10  
April 16th, 2011, 01:06 PM
eash's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Hi,
We adopted from Korea and brought home our son about 2.5 years ago. He was 9 months old when he came home. Each country is vastly different and you can bring home kids from 9 months up to 13 years old, depending on the country. It is expensive and can range from 15k to 45k depending on the country. There are a lot of variables and it just depends on what you want out of the adoption. Good luck with your decision.
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