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Forum: Adoption

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  #1  
June 6th, 2011, 11:03 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 3,699
My DH and I have been talking about adoption for a year now. We have finally decided to take the plunge and I was feeling so excited and peaceful about it. We thought we had even picked out an agency. It is the Adoption Network Law Center--has anyone heard/had experience with it?

We heard about it through a friend of mine who just got matched with a birthmom after having a profile with them for only 3 months. We also have an aquaintace who has adopted 3 boys through them. Dh and I have had a phone consultation with ANLC and felt really good about going with them. Well, I just read AWFUL online reviews of them (and some good ones...but the bad ones were really bad...people who had paid 25,000 and been waiting 3 years for a baby ) and now I don't feel so comfortable anymore.

Ugh. I seriously feel like we CANNOT find an agency. We have been looking at them for a year now. They all have some drawback and it seems like the potential to lose alot of money. Even some of the very big name agencies (Bethany for example has a $7000 fee that is non-refundable) have things that make me uncomfortable. I just don't know what to do. If ANYONE is working with/ has worked with a great agency, please respond.
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  #2  
June 6th, 2011, 11:05 AM
tawny63's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Pullman, WA
Posts: 731
PM'd you
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TTC since 01/04
IUI 05/06 & 10/06 BFN
IUI 11/06 BFP!!! Labeled as chemical
12/06 clomid 50mg=INSANITY and OHSS
Decided to adopt 01/07
raced to the hospital to get our baby boy in August 2007, 12 days after we went "live" to adopt!
Mental break....ahhh. Mommy time....ahhhh. <3
Endometriosis surgery 01/16/09
Femara+IUI 03/09, 04/09, 05/09, 06/09 BFN's
07/09: mixture of acupuncture, herbs, hope, and prayers
09/2009~too much pain, had to go on BCP's.
06/10: Starting adoption process again!!!!!
10/13/10: Adoption paperwork done...now just pray and wait....
01/07/11 profiles turned into the adoption agency.
Matched April 1st, 2011 with a baby girl!
Cassidy born June 15, 2011







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  #3  
June 8th, 2011, 03:30 PM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 4,847
I hope you get some good feedback! I'm not using an agency (going through foster system). I will be praying that you find the perfect one! KUP!!!
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  #4  
June 8th, 2011, 06:14 PM
Veteran
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 135
I'm going the same route as SarahBethsMommy. Foster Care all the way and it has been quick and great for us
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  #5  
June 9th, 2011, 10:28 AM
mamma_anna's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 1,953
I've also never used an agency. Just wanted to say I hope things work out for you soon. ((HUGS))
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  #6  
June 11th, 2011, 01:43 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: My heart belongs in Washington DC
Posts: 6,415
I don't have any advice for you, but I hope you're able to find an agency you're comfortable with!
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"The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude..... These experiences, while often difficult to bear at the time, are percisely the kinds of experiences that stretch our understanding, build our character and increase our compassion for others."
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  #7  
June 24th, 2011, 08:06 AM
Bug-n-Ed's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 2,520
I think in general you will find the horror stories of any agency more easily than the good stories. People who are upset are more likely to voice their opinion than those who had a good experience.

Any agency is going to have people who had terrible experiences. I heard so many people tell me that they had a horrible experience with the agency we chose. We chose them because they were through our church and they subsidized the adoption costs. We stuck with them and even though we ended up finding the birth mom of our twins through adoption pass along cards, the agency was great and the birth mom went through the agency to make thing easier on us and she had a good experience as well. The ones who didn't have a good experience are ones who didn't get matched after several years and chose to go to a different agency.

E-moms are the ones who in most cases choose the family they are placing with. Because of this, some families will be matched super fast while others wait years. This has nothing to do with the agency in most situations. Perhaps the e-moms don't like the letter written to them for whatever reason or other countless things that an adoptive family/agency have no control over, like a e-moms wanting a family where both parents are college graduates -- there's only so many adoptive couples that fit certain criteria e-moms have.

In other words, go with the agency you feel comfortable with. You said that you felt good about this agency until you read the bad reviews. Ignore the bad reviews and go with your gut instinct. If you don't feel like you can do that, keep searching for another agency, but I can guarantee that there are going to be bad reviews about every single agency out there.

Good luck with your adoption journey!
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  #8  
July 13th, 2011, 04:15 PM
Newbie
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 1
Hi! I am a hopeful Mom who has been matched with a baby to be born in November. Today was the first time I have EVER looked into adoption message boards, and yours was the FIRST i've ever seen. I feel very compelled to tell you our story, and hopefully ease some of the stress you're feeling!

My husband and I were in the adoption process with a local, small agency for about 2 years with no prospective matches. We then decided to go through Adoption Network Law Center. Financially, this was a HUGE strain on us, but we kept hoping it was worth it!!

The night that we sent in the large lump sum payment to them, I ( a hypochondriac and type A through and through) sat up all night reading any and every review, post, message, anything! that I could find about ANLC. Most were great, but some had HORRIBLE stories! Clearly, I couldn't sleep the rest of the night, and fretted that we had made a huge mistake.

....8 DAYS after our profiles went live with ANLC we were matched with birthparents. Our caseworker helped us SO much wtih any questions we had or any thoughts we needed to run by her. We have now met with the birthparents, LOVE THEM, and keep in contact with them almost every day.

Our little girl is due the first part of November, and we couldn't be more thrilled!!

For us, the ANLC was the way to go. I really hope you have a positive experience with them, and keep us posted on what you decide.
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