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Adoption Advice


Forum: Adoption

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  #1  
August 16th, 2012, 03:46 PM
wastcougr's Avatar Adopting One of Each!
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Arizona
Posts: 396
Hello everyone,

My name is Christi and DH is Hank. I'm 38 (39 in December) and DH is 42. We've been together for 4 years, and married for a little over 18 months. This is the first marriage for me, and 2nd for him. He has a 13-year-old daughter from his first marriage.

We are currently TTC, but given my health history, I really don't think it will happen. As such, we are considering other options.

We are foster parents for the state of Arizona, and we're hoping to adopt through them, but the process is LONG as we want an infant girl (as young as possible). The problem with that, of course, is that they're not available for adoption as soon as they are born so we are waiting, minimum, of 6 months, and more like 12 months, to adopt. And, girls are popular so that makes it even longer of a wait.

Anyway, we're not getting any younger, and I'm just trying to figure out if there's another option available. We don't have a lot of $$$$ to invest in this, which is why we're taking our chances with foster care, but I was just curious to hear others' stories about how you came to the adoption decision (especially if you went through private adoption).

More background: I've been a type 1 diabetic for 25 years, I've never been pregnant (at least, not that I know of), and I'm not sure that I could carry a baby to term even if I COULD get PG. My sister had PCOS, so I'm wondering if that's part of my issues, as well, although I haven't been tested for anything as today is only CD 1 of our 3rd cycle trying to get PG. But, I don't feel in my heart that it's possible to do things the "natural" way which is why I'm here, asking for you all to share your experiences.

Thank you in advance,
Christi
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  #2  
August 17th, 2012, 05:18 AM
esparando para bebé's Avatar Proud Car Seat Technician
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Private adoption is cheaper than agency but depending on the lawyer you choose can still be costly. I'd look into that though.
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  #3  
August 17th, 2012, 06:00 AM
3TeamH's Avatar Hayley
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 6,509
A lawyer should cost between $1500-3000 if you do a private domestic adoption. The wait time is probably just as long, though. I don't know any attorneys in AZ but should be able to look some up fairly easily on Google.

We have 3 biological kids and were matched with a baby girl due 12/30. We've only been waiting since May, but we used a consultant & a facilitator. Average adoption costs are around 35k, but you can fund raise and apply for grants galore. Our adoption won't be nearly that much, thank God!
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  #4  
September 28th, 2013, 09:26 PM
Eleanor-Abigail's Avatar Keep Calm and Baby Dance
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: TX
Posts: 378
Holy cow, that is much less than I expected for adoption. We have one DD and have not had much luck having a second child. I fear that due to our age we won't have another naturally, so I'm beginning to ask myself if adoption is in our future.

I'm glad this boar his here.
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  #5  
October 1st, 2013, 12:54 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Michigan
Posts: 709
Im from Michigan and was told that we were very unlikely to foster a baby and very unlikely to be able to adopt a baby from foster care. I was happy with this because we were "done" having children as I had a 2 year old at the time and 9 year old. Funny enough our second foster child was a newborn baby girl. With the knowledge that the plan was reunification we were fine fostering her. Soon enough, plans didnt go as expected and here we are adopting our now little girl.

You are already foster parents and i was wondering would you be opposed to even fostering a baby with the plan for reunification? That is also a way. Of course there is the chance that the baby would be returned to the bio however in the event that things don't work out, (in Michigan) the baby stays with you if you want to adopt him/her.

In that case, you will be doing already what you are doing but if it doesnt work out with the bio, the baby is in your care already and throughout that process you can also go back to get your license for foster to adopt.
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  #6  
February 14th, 2014, 11:03 AM
wastcougr's Avatar Adopting One of Each!
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Arizona
Posts: 396
Update:

I am now 40 (as of December, 2013) and we are no closer to adopting. We are still foster parents, and we did decide to go with a private adoption agency out of California for help. We are waiting to be matched with a birth mom through them.

Just like I thought, I never did get PG, although that wasn't a big shocker.

We did decide, however, to adopt a boy in addition to the girl that we've wanted for a couple of years now. We moved into a larger house recently and have the room for 3 children, so there were two unused rooms (with the 3rd being my step-daughter's). We are hoping to fost/adopt through foster care for the boy as we would want him to be a little older - around 18 months to two years old and there is more of a chance of that happening through fostering.

Thank you, everyone, for your responses over the last year and a half or so. I hope things have happened more quickly for all of you than they have for us...

-Christi
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