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  #1  
November 5th, 2006, 09:42 PM
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Hi I'm Rebecca 23 years old and James (DH) 33. DH has 2 kids from a previous marriage. We have been ttc for a long time now and a while back we started the adoption process. We were going through DSS for our adoption. We decided to give going to the doctor one last shot and I did get preggo but had a miscarriage early into my pregnancy.

We have decided to pick up where we left off with the adoption now because I don't want to spend a ton of money for disappointment. KWIM?

I am just wondering about how the homestudy process went and how long it took to get the homestudy done? I have almost completed all of the paperwork and was mainly concerned about the home visits and etc. Can someone help me out with your personal expirences?? TIA
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  #2  
November 6th, 2006, 04:42 AM
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Well we did an international adoption but the homestudy process should be pretty much the same. Depending on how good your social worker is; our first adoptions homestudy process took two months which includes the three visits and also her writitng it all up so that was start to finish for the homestudy. Our second adoption only took a month but it also just needed to be updated.

What happens is the ask you alot a questions about you and your husband and what it was like growing up for the two of you, your views on parenthood and how you plan on raising a child (punishment, schooling, religon ect.) they will want to talk with your other children most likley. Then how you plan on dealing with the issues that come with adoption. Also what type of child you are looking to adopted. They do look at your house but it's more of a do they have the space and is it realtivly safe for a child. I at first thought I had to baby proof the whole the place which wasn't the case =) It seems scary at first but it really isn't. We've had to great social workers and if felt more like we were just sitting down and explaning why and how the adoption would work rather than an interagation.

This board can be slow sometimes but I do try and check in, so ask as many questions as you need. And Congrats on being Paper Prego's.
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  #3  
November 6th, 2006, 12:53 PM
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Quote:
Well we did an international adoption but the homestudy process should be pretty much the same. Depending on how good your social worker is; our first adoptions homestudy process took two months which includes the three visits and also her writitng it all up so that was start to finish for the homestudy. Our second adoption only took a month but it also just needed to be updated.

What happens is the ask you alot a questions about you and your husband and what it was like growing up for the two of you, your views on parenthood and how you plan on raising a child (punishment, schooling, religon ect.) they will want to talk with your other children most likley. Then how you plan on dealing with the issues that come with adoption. Also what type of child you are looking to adopted. They do look at your house but it's more of a do they have the space and is it realtivly safe for a child. I at first thought I had to baby proof the whole the place which wasn't the case =) It seems scary at first but it really isn't. We've had to great social workers and if felt more like we were just sitting down and explaning why and how the adoption would work rather than an interagation.

This board can be slow sometimes but I do try and check in, so ask as many questions as you need. And Congrats on being Paper Prego's.[/b]

So, did you have to have a fire inspection, DHEC inspection, and Social worker inspection? I read somewhere that some social workers actually check the temperature of the fridge and go through cabinets and closets. Is that true? I just don't know what to believe. I have most of the paper work done and all I have left on my part is the physicals for everyone in the house, pictures of all of us and pics. of the house, animal vacination records. After all of that is sent in then they will send out a fire inspector. Then after that there will be a DHEC inspection. Then the social worker is my understanding. Then on the waiting list we go. Please correct me if I am wrong!! I am scared to death of all of the inspections!!! I want everything to be perfect. I just don't want to do anything wrong at all! I have 1 dog, 1 bird, 2 turtles (in a tank), and a hamster, will they make me get rid of any of them or will it be ok for me to have them?? A friend of mine told me that they made her put her house dog outside in a pen because they didn't want it around the baby and thats what she had to do to adopt. Like I said, I AM SCARED TO DEATH of all of this because I just don't know what to expect from all of the inspections and interviews by the social worker. Thanks for all the information that you are providing me with!!

Y'all even have a name for adopting. Thats cute. Paper Preggos! I guess that I need to make a special something to add in my siggy now for being Paper Preggo! AWWW!
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  #4  
November 6th, 2006, 01:48 PM
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Well it may be a bit diffrent since we did an international adoption. We had no fire inspection or DHEC. But the social worker did check to see that we had fire alarms =) We also have a dog and she just made sure that there had been no "incidents" with him and that he went to the vet and was up to date on his shots. I do remember her asking, well what if he doesn't like the baby? We responded we'd do our best to make it work wtih a trainer if need be and that we had family who would be willing to take responsiblity of him if need be. There was no temp. checking in our visits.

I think we need to make our adoption process special as it is a very diffrent and wonderful unique way in which our families have been made. So paper preggo's now and when you get the call you'll be in Labor!!!!! For us we got the call and then had to wait 2 months until we could go pick up our babies, so out of my friends I have the best labor story =)
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  #5  
November 8th, 2006, 01:12 AM
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We give all of our dogs their own shots except rabies of course. We do keep a log of all of the times that we give them their shots though. It would be way to expensive for us to take them all to the vet so I hope that we don't have to do that. We have 8 dogs but only 1 inside. The other 7 are in pens outside.

I would have died having to wait 2 months knowing that the child was just sitting there and that it was ours. How did you keep your sanity? LOL I bet that you did have the best labor story.

I thought that international adoptions were more harsh with their inspections than with domestic? I wish that there was some place or someone that I could get all the information on what they will exactly be looking for in these inspections (DHEC, Fire, Social Worker) I have searched on the internet but there aren't in-depth answers on the details of each inspection. I just have so many questions and I am scared to death about something not being right. KWIM?
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  #6  
November 8th, 2006, 04:22 AM
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Do you have a social worker yet that you could talk with and ask?
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  #7  
November 8th, 2006, 09:03 PM
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Yes we do but I don't want to seem like I am trying to hide things or that I am being pushy. Another thing that I found very interesting is that on the Physical Examinations paper work that the doctor has to fill out when we get ours is that it doesn't say anything about drug testing. Did you have to have a drug test?? I would think that the drug testing should be mandantory because would they make the mistake of giving a child to a drug addict not knowing that the adoptive parents were addicts? KWIM? I just thought that was something major that was missing. All that it says on the paper work is that we have to have the following: Medical history (standard stuff), height, weight, blood pressure, eyes, TB Test, Ear, Nose, Throat, Cholestrol Reading, Heart, Lungs, Medications being taken, Medications in past, Organic or functional disorders that limit life expectancy. Thats it.

Is there anywhere online that I can get information on the inspections? I am not worried about the fire inspection because my husband's cousin is and has been a firefighter for a long time and he agreed today to come here and give look to see that everything is ok to pass the inspection before we have the actual inspection. That has eased my mind about the fire inspection all together. Now its DHEC and Social Worker that I am worried about.

I feel like I am going to have a heart attack before all of this stuff gets done. KWIM?
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  #8  
November 9th, 2006, 09:30 AM
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Hi Rebecca and welcome to the group! I'm Marla, mom of 4, including 2 cuties from China. Like beansmommy said, our home studies were not nearly as stressful as I expected, and our social worker didn't do any major inspecting, she just walked around. We didn't have to do a drug test with our medical exam. With all the fingerprints and background checks they do, I guess they figure if you had some kind of drug habit, it would be caught through that.

Try not to worry too much about the process, it's really not that bad! Good luck, hang in there and keep us posted on your progress!!
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  #9  
November 10th, 2006, 01:27 AM
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Thank you so much. Were you as scared as I am? I think that the only reason that I am so scared is because I don't know what to expect.
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  #10  
November 11th, 2006, 08:39 AM
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Quote:
Thank you so much. Were you as scared as I am? I think that the only reason that I am so scared is because I don't know what to expect.[/b]
The unknown is definitely the worst part of the whole process! I realized after we met our social worker for the first time that she was really there to help us through our adoptions not try to find something wrong with us. I'm sure once you get that first home visit over with, you'll find the same to be true in your case.
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  #11  
November 11th, 2006, 06:28 PM
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Quote:
Quote:
Thank you so much. Were you as scared as I am? I think that the only reason that I am so scared is because I don't know what to expect.[/b]
The unknown is definitely the worst part of the whole process! I realized after we met our social worker for the first time that she was really there to help us through our adoptions not try to find something wrong with us. I'm sure once you get that first home visit over with, you'll find the same to be true in your case.
[/b]

I have talked to our social worker on the phone a few times to explain to her why we were delaying on finishing up the paper work (because my dh's ex was trying to run us off of the road, threatening to kill us, and lots and lots of other stuff). She seems to be very sweet and understanding. She said that they could continue with the adoption even with everything going on but I told her that we would rather not bring a child into our home and all of this be going on. I told her that we would like to wait and see what happens and see if we can't get dh's ex back in court to see if the judge could make her leave us alone or something. We have just been under so much stress lately and have been for about 2 1/2 years now. We don't care what happens this time, we ARE going to get this done because this is what we want and I don't think that it is fair to let his ex delay us any longer from what we want. We also decided to TTC during all of that madness. This time I want to finish this up so that we can move on with our lives and live for us not HER. I am just praying so hard that everything works out. I am sure that I am making a big deal out of nothing but I'd rather be safe than sorry. KWIM??

When the social worker comes out for the home visit, does the house have to be baby proofed already or what because I have 2 stepkids that are 8 & 11?? What about medications and first aide stuff?? What about computer cords that are under the desk?
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