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Forum: Adoption

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  #1  
December 28th, 2006, 12:40 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 577
Hey, this isnt about me at all...I just had a preemie and I met a family and their baby was right beside mine...and she was in the adoption process...she stayed with this baby for 8 weeks in the hospital and when they went home they had probably been home for 2.5 weeks and the birth mother showed up about 2 states away and took the baby from them on christmas morning...i was just wondering is this legal can she do this?? I know your probably thinking why havent I asked her, but she can't talk about anything right now and I was just trying to give her some time but at the same time i need questions to be answered. thanks!
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  #2  
December 29th, 2006, 11:26 AM
Veteran
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 210
Quote:
Hey, this isnt about me at all...I just had a preemie and I met a family and their baby was right beside mine...and she was in the adoption process...she stayed with this baby for 8 weeks in the hospital and when they went home they had probably been home for 2.5 weeks and the birth mother showed up about 2 states away and took the baby from them on christmas morning...i was just wondering is this legal can she do this?? I know your probably thinking why havent I asked her, but she can't talk about anything right now and I was just trying to give her some time but at the same time i need questions to be answered. thanks![/b]
Well this depends. Mothers have a right to change their minds at any time in the adoption "process". Was TRP filed? Did she sign papers releasing her parental rights? What are the laws about revocation of consent in your state - how many days after signing the paperwork is the mother allowed to change her mind? Until the mother signs the papers, until the "revocation period" in which she can withdraw her consent passes, she is still that child's legal mother. The adoptive parents do not become legal parents until the above is completed and they can finalize the adoption. So while she might have broken the hearts of the PAparents - which is horrible - if she was still that child's legal mother she did have every right to change her mind & decide to parent her baby. I am sure that emotionally the "Birth" Mother was dealing with some pain & suffering of her own. It is very likley that after some soul searching - especially around the holidays - she decided that she just couldn't go through with the adoption - and that is her right. I am sure she wasn't out to be mean, spiteful, hurtful to the adoptive parents but she just longed for her child - decided she couldn't go through with the plan - and changed her mind. I am sorry that your friends are going through grief & loss around the holidays.
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  #3  
January 6th, 2007, 10:29 PM
IrishMama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,110
I am so so sorry that that happened to her and I can't even imagine.
To answer your question, every state has a different set of laws.
In the state where I adopted my newborn, the birthmother is not allowed to signed what's called her surrender papers, until at least 72 hours from the birth.
AND once she signed those papers, there was no way, at least in our state that she could get the baby back.
However, I know of Indiana, there she can't sign any sooner than 48 hours after the birth, BUT she has 30 days to resend or come for the baby.

What a tragic thing for these poor people.
One red flag is that you mentioned that the baby was sick in the hospital, right, well they say if the baby is sick, that makes it that much harder for the birthmom, she feels extra bad about placing a sick baby and feels also that she is the one who can "make them better"

So sad.
I have a stomach ache now just thinking about those poor people, talk about gut wrenching.
How sad.
I will say a prayer for them for sure.
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  #4  
February 27th, 2007, 12:43 AM
LondonAndAthensMommy's Avatar Chillin' in Mommywood ;)
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Kelowna, BC
Posts: 1,591
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I thought you only have 1 week to change your mind (if u are the birth parent) after the papers are signed and filed..
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  #5  
February 28th, 2007, 07:10 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 577
Hi ladies!! I just wanted to think everyone for their prayers and thoughts...it worked!!!! She got her precious baby back! She finally realized that she could not care for him. My friend is back to herself. I told her about justmommies and the adoption forum, so maybe she will be posting here soon. Once again thanks!!
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