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  #1  
November 14th, 2007, 10:11 AM
ericahex's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Hi there,

Just wanted to introduce myself and "de-lurk". We are currently waiting to hear back from childrens services regarding my brother's son. He is a crown ward and apparently the previous adoption inquiries fell through. His permanency planner is away and we are wanting to make sure she is aware that I'm interested in adopting him and we need to know if anything has changed in his status. She's back Friday evidently.

Meanwhile I have spoken to a lawyer once and plan to go to her again if an adoption is not currently in progress for my nephew. I understand from her that we won't need a home study or references etc., and will just need to fill out paperwork, since I am a close relative (aunt of the child).

My nephew turned 2 years old on the 1st of November, and I already have a baby boy who is almost 9 months old. I also have a common-law spouse - we have been together for about 3 and a half years, and though we do plan to get married we haven't done so yet. I am doing research and talking to people, hoping to get prepared to welcome a toddler into our home - both as he will be a new family member with a different family situation, and because it'll be a jump for us to go from baby to baby + toddler!

Is anyone else familiar with relative adoption? I feel like I have a lot to learn and figure out if this all works out!
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  #2  
November 15th, 2007, 12:05 AM
Jeb-O's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm not familiar, but so glad someone in his family is stepping in. It's so important for kids to feel loved and supported by their families. (Even if they aren't biological!) GL! Hope everything works out easily. Keep us posted!
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  #3  
November 15th, 2007, 03:11 PM
m_westbro's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Hi and welcome! I have no experience with relative adoption, but I know we have some ladies here who do. In fact, Naomi's new little one should have arrived yesterday and I'm sure she can answer some questions for you when she gets settled. I just wanted to say good luck and keep us posted!
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  #4  
November 16th, 2007, 07:46 AM
ericahex's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Thanks ladies.
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  #5  
November 17th, 2007, 11:35 AM
KatConto's Avatar Super Mommy
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I just wanted to post to let you know, give me a few day for things to get a little more calmer for me and I'll try to help as much as I can. As I have custody of my three day old nephew, that my DH and I are adopting.
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  #6  
November 17th, 2007, 01:57 PM
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Welcome!
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  #7  
November 18th, 2007, 08:18 AM
KatConto's Avatar Super Mommy
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Sorry for such a short note yesterday, just been really busy but I didn't want you to think that I was being rude, first off let me say hello and welcome to the adoption board. My name is Naomi, and I am adopting my Brother and SIL newborn son, I've had physical custody of him since he was two days old.

I am not sure exactly how much help I can be since what DH and I and my Brother and SIL are doing is considered a cross over between a private adoption and a kinship adoption. The state hasn't been involved in this what so ever. Depending what state you live in certain things can be waived and not done as here in Iowa we were able to waive the home study and references, and the 90 day placement waiting period before finalization. You are on a good path by already contacting an attorney, she'll be able to help you out because she'll know the laws of your state and what you will have to have and need.

I'm sure you'll do fine going from baby to baby and toddler. You already have the basics of that down by having a little one of your own.

Has your brother had his parental rights removed or has he removed them on his own?? What about the birth mothers?? Any background information you are willing to share might help me out on explaining things. What is your brother and yours relationship, do you see each other often? Does he know of you desire to adopt his child?? I know a lot of questions and I'm sorry just trying to find out more so I know sort of what you may have ahead of you and your DH.
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  #8  
November 21st, 2007, 02:28 PM
ericahex's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Thanks for your response, I've no doubt you are very busy, you didn't seem rude at all.

My brother very much wants us to adopt his son. The boy is a crown ward with no access, so neither parent has rights. The last visitation my brother had with his son was back in February, after that he lost access. He and I aren't really close but get along well enough. He says he will just be happy if he knows his son is still in the family, but I am sure we will arrange visitations for him.

Right now it keeps going back and forth - I left a few messages for two different workers who were supposed to be responsible for the little guy, then today my brother apparently spoke to the supervisor who says even though they've placed the little boy with a family who is in the adoption process, she is going to "review the situation" and let us know by Friday. So it is an iffy situation. I think the workers would've been happier if we just let it go since they have an adoptive family who's apparently already got him at home. No idea what is going to happen!
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  #9  
December 1st, 2007, 10:39 AM
ericahex's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Well turned out my brother misunderstood and my nephew was still with his foster family, not being adopted. Once we got that cleared up and got through to the right people they scheduled a meeting with us yesterday. We found out we will need to undergo the normal full adoption process, as although we are kin, the boy is a crown ward. We also found out that he had a difficult birth, was born with his cord around his neck, scored very low apgars, and they had no doubt whatsoever he was exposed to drugs and possibly alcohol while in utero. He is hitting all his milestones and has had extensive testing but they wanted us to know to keep an eye on things.

They want to schedule the first homestudy appointment ASAP. And if all goes well with the first homestudy meetings they may even place him in our home before we're done the whole process (because we're kin). We will still be expected to complete all the usual requirements, but we could do PRIDE training etc. while he is already in our home if things go well.

So I'm cleaning like mad, and working on getting all the childproofing/safety stuff we'll need to do to accomodate a toddler. They've given us the paperwork including checklists of safety requirements, so we'll be busy busy.
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  #10  
December 2nd, 2007, 10:29 AM
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Sounds like things will work out for you, I'm so happy for you and your DH. Keep us posted on how things are going.

I know I don't post regularly but, I do try to pop in when Leo is sleeping and not needing anything.
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  #11  
December 3rd, 2007, 04:04 PM
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That is great news. Things could be drastically changing for the best very soon!! Good luck through the entire process!
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  #12  
December 3rd, 2007, 06:03 PM
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That sounds like great news!
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  #13  
December 3rd, 2007, 08:13 PM
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Sounds like things are really happening fast! Keep us posted and good luck!!
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  #14  
December 7th, 2007, 12:13 PM
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I am lurking, But CONGRATS that is so awesome! I would love to adopt kids but my DF doesn't agree with me. Maybe someday I will be a foster mom when my kids are all grown up


CONGRATS again
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  #15  
December 11th, 2007, 01:31 PM
ericahex's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Thanks for the support

Our first home study visit will be Thursday evening!!! Excuse me while I clean like a madwoman!
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  #16  
January 16th, 2008, 04:04 PM
ericahex's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Just an update - our first two homestudy visits went well. The lady who is doing the home study for us is wonderful - very nice, clear, helpful, and we chatted like old friends. She was also really prompt and thorough - she was asked to get this underway for January and asked us if we could squeeze in some visits before Christmas. Now we are just completing the last bits of paperwork - we can pick up our police checks Friday, my spouse's medical is done and mine should be (Dr was awaiting records from previous Dr) ready to pick up Friday as well, and we just have one form to finish (info about our income, debts, expenses, etc.) and gotta quickly copy our insurances (auto and home) and vaccination records for our three pets. We can take that into the office aaaand hopefully the lady doing our homestudy can get finished right up and we can meet and start visiting Toddler within a couple weeks.

We're also invited to do PRIDE from February through April, though I know they want to place Toddler with us possibly even before then.
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  #17  
January 29th, 2008, 08:09 AM
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How exciting!
I just joined the board and am checking everything out. I've always had an interest in adoption for some reason.
I hope everything works out fine for your family and Hunter! I'll check back for updates.

Terri

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  #18  
January 29th, 2008, 06:02 PM
ericahex's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Welcome to the board, Terri And thanks for the well wishes.

Tonight we had another home study visit. All is set EXCEPT my spouse's police check wasn't and still isn't back yet. We will need to do PRIDE training and hopefully will be meeting Toddler and starting to transition him into our home at the same time.
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  #19  
January 30th, 2008, 09:32 AM
ericahex's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Wanted to mention I just changed my display name to MamaRain for privacy reasons. We have recently signed paperwork regarding protecting confidentiality of Toddler. Sorry for the inconvenience but I hope you can understand.

We have found out now that in fact, the foster parents were going to adopt Toddler. As above this had been mentioned but then explained away as a misunderstanding. I feel torn because the foster family has taken care of Toddler since he was 2 weeks old. My heart breaks for them. Part of me wonders if it wouldn't be better to leave Toddler with the family he already knows and loves, even if they aren't "blood" relatives.

We await the police check and PRIDE training.
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  #20  
January 30th, 2008, 10:36 AM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Are you able to talk to the foster family and hear their thoughts on this? I'm sure the answer is no... but it just seems like it should clear up misunderstandings between you and them and help in the long run. Perhaps they could just be kept a part of his life in some way?
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