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I'm lurking here, but DH and I are really considering adoption. We have one DD who is now almost 21 months old. I've always wanted to adopt and since our recent loss of our DS in August, DH and I have been discussing it more heavily. We're both pulled to adopt from DHR. Here in Alabama, DHR only adopts special needs kids (sibling groups, special medical needs, any child over 8 years, any African-American over 2 years). We'd like to adopt a sibling group of 2 probably, but we'd consider others. My real question is, have any of you broken the birth order of your children when adopting another child? Like, did you have a child that was 2 and adopt one that was 3 or whatever. How did it work out? Is it recommended or not? If we decide to do it, should we do it earlier than later? Really, any advice would be very appreciated.
Thank you for posting. I can't offer advice yet but I've also been wondering since I have a 10 month old and am adopting a 2 year old and one person on another forum said never to adopt out of order. I don't know why they feel that way and am wondering. It won't make us change our mind, but I'm interested to know why they don't think it's a good idea.
Mama to Monkey born Feb 24th, 2007, and Toddler born Nov 1st, 2005.
We adopted out of order and it wasn't an issue for our kids at all. We adopted Jacey at age 5 1/2 and had a 6 year old and 3 year old at home at the time. I know some agencies don't recommend it, but like I said, it wasn't a problem for our family at all, and in fact, I think my youngest daughter would've had a harder time if we'd brought home a child younger than her. Good luck with your decision, it's a very personal one and you will know what you feel is right for your family when the time comes. Feel free to PM me with any specific questions you may have and I'd be happy to answer them!
Edited to add: Prayers to you for the loss of your beautiful baby boy.
We just finished up the foster to adopt classes and they won't allow you to adopt children that are older than the children you already have within your home. (at least in our state) Their reasoning is that typically adopted children need more time to mature and if you place them in a home and expect them to be the *oldest* they cannot fill that role - apparently it makes conflict with the younger children already in your home. We don't have any children, so we're pretty much open to adopt any age group, but I can see how this can affect others now. I also understand both sides, I suppose... I think it definitely is case by case and I am unsure why my state doesn't treat it that way?