Log In Sign Up

Birth Order


Forum: Adoption

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Adoption LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
December 30th, 2007, 07:29 PM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 4,847
I'm lurking here, but DH and I are really considering adoption. We have one DD who is now almost 21 months old. I've always wanted to adopt and since our recent loss of our DS in August, DH and I have been discussing it more heavily. We're both pulled to adopt from DHR. Here in Alabama, DHR only adopts special needs kids (sibling groups, special medical needs, any child over 8 years, any African-American over 2 years). We'd like to adopt a sibling group of 2 probably, but we'd consider others. My real question is, have any of you broken the birth order of your children when adopting another child? Like, did you have a child that was 2 and adopt one that was 3 or whatever. How did it work out? Is it recommended or not? If we decide to do it, should we do it earlier than later? Really, any advice would be very appreciated.
__________________
VIEW MY BLOG



Thank you to AlexAiden Mommy for my beautiful siggie!
Reply With Quote
  #2  
January 2nd, 2008, 03:26 PM
ericahex's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1,241
Thank you for posting. I can't offer advice yet but I've also been wondering since I have a 10 month old and am adopting a 2 year old and one person on another forum said never to adopt out of order. I don't know why they feel that way and am wondering. It won't make us change our mind, but I'm interested to know why they don't think it's a good idea.
__________________
Mama to Monkey born Feb 24th, 2007, and Toddler born Nov 1st, 2005.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
January 2nd, 2008, 03:46 PM
m_westbro's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Texas y'all!
Posts: 17,144
We adopted out of order and it wasn't an issue for our kids at all. We adopted Jacey at age 5 1/2 and had a 6 year old and 3 year old at home at the time. I know some agencies don't recommend it, but like I said, it wasn't a problem for our family at all, and in fact, I think my youngest daughter would've had a harder time if we'd brought home a child younger than her. Good luck with your decision, it's a very personal one and you will know what you feel is right for your family when the time comes. Feel free to PM me with any specific questions you may have and I'd be happy to answer them!

Edited to add: Prayers to you for the loss of your beautiful baby boy.
__________________


my photog blog / my family blog
Reply With Quote
  #4  
January 3rd, 2008, 08:35 AM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 4,847
Thanks guys! Erica, I'd like to hear how it works in your home. I think that is close to what we'd be doing. We're looking at siblings that are 7 or under and Sarah Beth is 21 months old.
__________________
VIEW MY BLOG



Thank you to AlexAiden Mommy for my beautiful siggie!
Reply With Quote
  #5  
January 3rd, 2008, 10:44 AM
Jeb-O's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Oregon
Posts: 8,055
Send a message via AIM to Jeb-O Send a message via Yahoo to Jeb-O
We just finished up the foster to adopt classes and they won't allow you to adopt children that are older than the children you already have within your home. (at least in our state) Their reasoning is that typically adopted children need more time to mature and if you place them in a home and expect them to be the *oldest* they cannot fill that role - apparently it makes conflict with the younger children already in your home. We don't have any children, so we're pretty much open to adopt any age group, but I can see how this can affect others now. I also understand both sides, I suppose... I think it definitely is case by case and I am unsure why my state doesn't treat it that way?
__________________

Reply With Quote
  #6  
January 16th, 2008, 03:57 PM
ericahex's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1,241
Thanks for that info. I appreciate having that to consider.

Our boys are so close in age and I think we would be likely to consider them as even closer anyway (as in, both toddlers). But we'll have to see how it goes!!
__________________
Mama to Monkey born Feb 24th, 2007, and Toddler born Nov 1st, 2005.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:59 PM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0