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We adopted Kirsten from a family member so they see each other several times a year and everything has worked out well. She knows that is the person who gave birth to her and she calls her Aunt Jenny. I think it helps Jenny to be able to see her - I actually worried that it would be harder on her but I think when she sees her, she knows she did the right thing. I don't know if this would be true in every case but it works well for us.
We're working on a semi-open adoption. What do I mean by that? Our little guy is a crown ward, and his mother has no access, meaning our son will not be seeing her. However, our son's biological father is my brother, and he will get to visit his bio father. It should be interesting, but we know it'll be worth it too!
Mama to Monkey born Feb 24th, 2007, and Toddler born Nov 1st, 2005.
We have a very open adoption with our daughter. She sees her birth mother often and her birth grandparents are real grandparents to her. I do think our situation is very unique because we were friends with her birth family for a long time before she was born. So far. it works for us. Lily loves her birth family the way she loves the rest of her extended family. She is still very young (not yet two) but we have not had any problems with things.