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I don't know where to put this - 20 and TTC?


Forum: Twentysomething Mommies

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  #1  
April 14th, 2009, 07:10 PM
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I wasn't sure whether to put this in a TTC board or an age-specific board, but this seems like the best fit.

My bf and I really want a baby. We know we're meant to be together and we have this really strong urge to bring a child into this world. We're both stable in all areas of our lives- the only thing holding (me) back is wanting to experience things like traveling and strenuous physical activities this summer...besides that, I'm all for having a baby- I'm a little baby-obsessed. It seems strange for my age that I have such a strong maternal urge (I'm 20, almost 21), but I can't help it! Nature made us so that we have babies when we're the most healthy, it's not my fault society says you have to finish college, get a career and a house first- that's why so many moms are in their 40s!!

If I had a kid now, my daughter (I know it's a girl soul who wants to be born, I've been having dreams and visions) will be 18 when I'm 39!!! and 15 when I'm 36!! I think that is so much better than having your mom be in her 40's when you're a teenager. I live a very healthy lifestyle (I'm a raw foodist and do yoga) so I know I'm going to stay young for a very long time and I'll be able to enjoy everything i want to enjoy now, then.... I just need to bring this little person into the world !! I can't explain it and it sounds crazy but I feel like it has to happen, and soon.

I'm going to ovulate on the 20th and if we DTD without protection within the next 2-4 days, I will most definitely get pregnant. I am extremely fertile and I know I will get pregnant the first cycle trying. My bf says he doesn't want to try TO have a baby and he doesn't want to try to NOT have a baby, we're just going to do what feels natural- is this insane? I know my mother would think it is, but people who know me and know us... they think there's nothing wrong with it.

When I think about what I want to do in life, I have interests and passions, but none so strong as wanting to be a mother and raise a family the organic, babywearing, breast feeding, gardening-food growing, communal way.

I guess I would just like to hear a story or two about young couples who TTC when they were in their early 20's. I'm turning 21 soon and he's almost 30.

feel free to move this if it's in the wrong category!
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  #2  
April 15th, 2009, 07:00 AM
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We didn't try to concieve either child, but I think if you want to travel and stuff maybe you should do that for a couple years cause it would be a lot harder to do with a LO. You are still young so if you wait a couple years, I will be in my early 40's when my kids are teenagers in my eyes that is still young to me where my DH and I will be able to do stuff together. This to me is something you and your bf need to talk and decide what is right for you. Weigh your options though your freedom to do stuff is pretty much done once you bring a child into the world but if that is something your willing to accept then good luck Hope you stick around
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  #3  
April 15th, 2009, 08:36 AM
.t.e.r.r.a.'s Avatar Proud to be a WAHM
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You know what? Don't feel like there is something wrong with you! You remind me of myself before I had Haydon! Me and my fiance' felt the same way... and here we are two year later with our 3 month old son! I too always knew I wanted to be a young mom. Society always says you should do what everyone else is doing. I have done everything backwards, and we are doing just great! We moved in, THEN got engaged, THEN got pregnant, and we are getting married this fall! Do what YOU think is right for you! Me and Steve are perfectly happy with the way our lives are going. We are going to Hawaii this fall for our wedding, and we are bringing our baby with us! We will still have as much fun as everyone else, the only thing we really won't be able to do is go to the bars, and that isn't a big to us at all.

I totally know what you are saying about letting things happen naturally. That was our perspective on things. The night Haydon was concieved it was not planned that he was going to "impregnate me" (lol), it was just such an intimate moment that we LET it happen you know? LoL, sorry if I make no sense. I don't think there is any better way to bring a new life into this world other than when your having a true LOVE experience (kwim?).

If you do make the decision to bring a baby into your life, I will just suggest that you have all the things YOU desire before having the baby. Like your own house (or apt, etc.), your own car, and just having extra money in your wallet after paying all your bills is one o the things you should make sure you have before having a child.

With all that said, I LOVE being a mom at 22, and I have absolutely NO regrets!! Good luck with your future! And I hope I could help make an important decision!
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  #4  
April 15th, 2009, 11:12 AM
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thanks for the advice

I think traveling with a child will be more easy than the average person would think, just because I travel very simply and cheaply (no fancy hotels, no resorts, no plans, no fancy restaurants) and I think my intended parenting style (babywearing, breastfeeding) will be better suited to traveling than the "traditional" parenting style of pushing a stroller and carrying a diaper bag full of formula and disposable diapers... right? That's got to be easier- less "stuff" to deal with.

I've got my own car! I just bought it, it's a prius! I've got money saved in the bank, I've got my school paid for (and it's an alternative, more flexible school), and we've got a house..... materially- we would be better than fine.

I think we're going to just let it happen.
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  #5  
April 15th, 2009, 02:50 PM
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Good luck. I hope you get your wish. My fiance' and I had our son August 7th 2008 and I wouldnt change a thing. He was completely planned and I had him when I was 20 almost 21. Since I was young I wanted to have a baby in my early 20's so that I wouldnt as old when he/she was growing up. Sometimes I do miss things that my friends who do have kids get to do but I have the best gift ever in turn. I havent traveled far with my son, but I really dont think it would be so bad, and as far as an intended parenting style goes, things happen that you dont always plan on, I was going to BF but I didnt produce enough milk for my son's demand. I did tons of things to try and get my supply up. Also if you plan on traveling w/ a cloth diaper child you will need to soak them so they dont stain, I think it would be easier for long trips if you used sposies. But that is my opinion. I wish you the best of luck and hope you get your girl I wouldnt change anything about my age and my son. I love being a Mom!
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  #6  
April 15th, 2009, 10:28 PM
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I saw your post, you can also lurk around the TTC#1 board!!! Juist incase you have any questions!!! Welcome!!!
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  #7  
April 15th, 2009, 10:29 PM
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double post
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  #8  
April 16th, 2009, 10:26 AM
.t.e.r.r.a.'s Avatar Proud to be a WAHM
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Aww, I'm glad we could help! Seriously, good luck! And if you get your BFP, please come back and let us know!!! I remember before I got pregnant I made a post almost identical to yours, it's crazy how the times have changed! ... I miss the excitement and anticipation of finding out and just being pregnant! I JUST started school, and I'm going for a two year degree.... ideally I would like to wait till' I'm done with school to have another, but we will just see how well I can resist the baby fever! Hehe
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  #9  
April 16th, 2009, 12:50 PM
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I had my first 2 months before I turned 20, I don't regret it and I still live life. I have still made it to the bar even though I didn't turn 21 until I had a kid. I'm not a real party person, so I probably have made it there as much as I would have without having kids. I still have friends. I still go out.
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  #10  
April 16th, 2009, 02:15 PM
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Well I don't drink or party- I don't go to bars, I don't really go out. I have a close group of girlfriends (who are all older... 21-33) and all my friends have always been older... i feel like i'm 30 already- so I don't feel like I'm going to miss out on the wild reckless abandon of my 20's... because I have no desire for it! Honestly I think I got all of that out of the way earlier than most people- i was crazy from age 12-16!

I'm turning 21 in 6 months, so I'll be 21 if I get pregnant this cycle... we'll see.
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  #11  
April 16th, 2009, 08:52 PM
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think my intended parenting style (babywearing, breastfeeding) will be better suited to traveling than the "traditional" parenting style of pushing a stroller and carrying a diaper bag full of formula and disposable diapers... right?
This is not true in even the slightest way. ( I'm not trying to be mean, just giving you a heads up)
If you want to have a child that is great you seem like you would be a great mom. But just know that just because you live that lifestyle it doesn't mean that you will have have an easy go at it.
I too am a breastfeeding ( was until recently) baby wearing, co-sleeping mom. Traveling was not any easier. It will never be that simple again to just up and go. Take it from someone that has traveled 3 times in 6 months with him.
Because of this lifestyle be ready for sleepless nights. I had to break my sons co-sleeping because all they want to do is nurse all night long and not sleep. I have an easy baby too. A lot of women in my playroom are attachment parenting types and have colicky, high need children.
A baby will change your life in so many ways that you can never prepare enough. But it is the most rewarding thing you could ever do!
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  #12  
April 16th, 2009, 09:10 PM
.t.e.r.r.a.'s Avatar Proud to be a WAHM
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Megan does make a very good point... parenting styles aside, everything is more difficult with a baby no matter what. Just make sure that THIS is what you really want, and your ready for it, because once you get that BFP there is no turning back!! Best wishes to you!
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