4 yr old dd

jessamynt · #1 March 27th, 2005, 10:12 AM

i have a 4 yr old dd and my dh and i have talking w/ her about having another baby and yesterday she got mad at me and told me i wouldn't have time for her anymore and that she will just be daddy's kid. i told her i will always have time for her but she is still upset. i don't know where she comes up with this stuff but does anyone know what i can do?

jessamyn

dingledine · #2 March 27th, 2005, 11:54 AM

Although she may be upset now, if you two want to have children, you should go ahead and do it. You could talk to her as things progress to reassure her, but at some point there is only so much talking will do. You could put it off until she is reassured, but that could be indefinately. The only way for her to know is for her to experience it for herself, which means as parents, deciding if you want to have another baby or not. You could try pointing out the fun it would be for her to play with baby and to have someone to share life with when she gets older, or going to parks with a sibling and the fun things that you will ALL do together and reassure her that you and her will have 'special' time alone together still and carry through on that. It is pretty natural for children to feel worried about losing their special time with their parent. Mine is 10yrs old and has some concerns about it of his own, but in 5 wks baby will be here and he can see for himself that things are not necesarily going to go the way he 'thinks' it might.

~Cupcake~ · #3 March 28th, 2005, 12:10 PM

Sorry that I cannot add much advice as Elle is only 20 mos and doesn't even really "get" that we are having another baby. But I wanted to wish you luck with her. I am sure she will come around. Just tell her about all the great things you can do as a big sister!