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I'm 24 (will be 25 when the baby is born) and I am the first of all my friends, and some are a few years older than me, to be pregnant. I only have one set of friends who are married as well.
I haven't told any of them yet. I'm not sure I want to. Is there anyone else here who has been in my position?
All they talk about is how they can't stand it that their friends from highschool are married and having kids and how glad they are that none of our group from university are having kids or getting married yet because it all would suck so much. Every time they say things like that it makes me sad.
I know if I tell them I'm pregnant they'll be supportive to my face, but I don't want them to talk about me like their friends from back home when I'm not there. I wasn't expecting to get pregnant, but I believe it's a good thing and I don't want to tell people who aren't going to feel like it's a good thing too. I just don't want that negativity around me.
This is really upsetting me.
Anyways, thanks for listening and I'm happy to take any advice or listen to anyone else's gripes in return.
Last edited by one.juniper; January 10th, 2012 at 11:04 AM.
I was the first of my friends by a long way. The crowd I hung with in high school was like the straight A students, we all went to college (including me), one of my best friends graduated law school a while ago, several of my friends got their Masters immediately, so that's the kind of crowd I hung with...I had a baby at 19 (got married at 18, 6 months after graduating, pregnant 10 months after that.) So I can relate to being the first.
I bet you they turn out to be more supportive than you're thinking though. Especially with only one, all my friends loved hanging out with my kids when I only had 1 or 2, it gets kinda busy now that I'm pregnant with my 5th .
I was the first of my group of friends to have a baby as well... None of them really had an issue with it, but a couple did drift away from me because they were still about the carefree lifestyle (drinking, partying, etc)
I was the first of my friends too i was 16 when pregnant just turned 17 when i had her and i kept in contact with a few of them but most of them didnt really care to be around some one with a child at that age
Sorry you're having a hard time. I was opposite, I was the last of my friends to have a kid only because timing just never was right until it happened. I agree with you though about your decision to not say anything. You are right if they are only going to negative and talk behind your back they don't deserve to know the news.
-- ----- DD1 BreastFed for. - DD2 Breasfed so far.
I was 23 when I got pregnant and 24 when I had my daughter. A lot of people I knew nalready had kids, so I wasn't the first one of my friends to have a baby. I only told one of my close friends that I was pregnant. I knew she would be genuinely happy for me. To be honest, I thought exactly like your friends before I got pregnant, obviously my view changed as soon as i was pregnant If you think those people will talk behind your back about you bringing a child into this world then they aren't really your friends and no one you should be around. You can choose to tell who ever you want about your pregnancy, or not. Your real friends will be genuinely happy for you even if the pregnancy was not planned.
I'm one of the last of my small group of friends to get pregnant. Another friend is due in August, so she's 4 months behind me. Most of my friends were really supportive of each other. A few thought it was a competition so I cut them off. But if you are happy, then they should be happy too.