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  Subscribe To Stillbirth Forum Welcomes You with Sadness LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #41  
July 8th, 2008, 10:34 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,095
My name is Laurie and I have a 3 year old son named Connor. My daughter, Evangeline (Eva), was born still on June 26, 2008. I was 24 weeks pregnant with Eva when I went to the ER because I hadn't felt movement in a couple of days. They looked for the heartbeat and when I heard it, I was so relieved. They told me to come back in the morning for an ultrasound. When the technician started the ultrasound, I knew right away that something was wrong. She immediately made an excuse to leave the room and then returned with a doctor. He said "the fetus has died". I will be haunted by those words forever, I think. Apparently it was my heartbeat we heard the night before. They called my husband at work and sent me to be induced. When I had her, the doctor said the cord was around her neck. I couldn't handle the idea of an autopsy, but now I am wondering if the cord was the real cause. I actually found this board while doing some research on stillbirth, and feel better after reading your stories. It makes me think that I will get through this after all. Thank you.
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  #42  
July 8th, 2008, 12:44 PM
claire1979's Avatar mummy to a special angel
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laurie, a sad but warm welcome to im claire co-host to this board, im so sorry for your loss, i lost my daughter at 24 weeks due to a cord accident in june 05 please keep posting and i will help and support u the best i can x
floaty kisses to eva x
take care
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  #43  
July 9th, 2008, 12:37 AM
lunarmagic's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: MA
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Welcome, Laurie. I am so sad to hear of the lost of your precious little girl. Being told your baby has died is just... the most aweful moment in your life. It still haunts me. I hope you can find comfort here.
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  #44  
July 9th, 2008, 01:02 PM
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Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,095
Thank you both for your kind words. I feel better since I found this forum. I feel my grief has been validated somehow and that there are people I can talk to that aren't going to be uncomfortable or insensitive. Lately, my husband and I feel like we have the plague or something.
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  #45  
July 9th, 2008, 11:29 PM
claire1979's Avatar mummy to a special angel
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you are very much welcome hun u can post and talk about your little eva as much as u like, we'd love to hear more abour your princess...(when u are ready) ill reply to your posts as soon as i see them x
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  #46  
August 21st, 2008, 07:48 AM
Gayle's Avatar Veteran
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Location: Lower Alabama
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My name is Gayle. I lost my angel baby Makayla Breann on Tuesday. I was only 21 w 3 day along. Makayla stopped growing at 18 weeks and had a chromosomal defect. I miss her so much and cant stop crying. I never realized how hard this is on a person. I feel so sad for all the other mommies who have gone through this. I don't know how to move on. I don't know how you are suppose to get up everyday and go on. I'm looking forward to getting to know all of you. Thanks for having me.
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  #47  
August 22nd, 2008, 06:16 AM
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Location: Ontario, Canada
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I'm sorry for your loss, Gayle. This is a great group of women and you will find lots of support here. My daughter was stillborn at 24 weeks on June 26, 2008. I've heard that it gets a little easier, but you will always mourn you baby. Take care.
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  #48  
August 22nd, 2008, 09:45 AM
claire1979's Avatar mummy to a special angel
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gayle i am so sorry to have to welcome you here its a very warm welcome im so sorry for your loss, in time it gets easier you dont hurt as much people say time is a great healer!!! i thought they were just saying it but its kinda true im 3 years since my loss and yes it hurts but i do have good days where i smile even laugh sometimes...jessica will never be forgotton and thats what i had to accept you will never get over it, it just becomes easier to bare.

much love claire x
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  #49  
August 22nd, 2008, 11:09 AM
AliciaF's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Southern Cali
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Gayle, I'm so glad you made it here, but so sorry we have to be here together. It's unfair to happen to anyone but seems like it shouldn't have happened to 2 of us on the same small board within a month
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  #50  
August 22nd, 2008, 06:38 PM
Gayle's Avatar Veteran
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Thanks for the warm welcome ladies. Alicia I agree. I never in a million years could imagine what somone went through with this. I hate it but glad to know that I'm not alone and there are people out there who understand what I'm going through.
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  #51  
November 9th, 2008, 07:16 AM
meNmy6's Avatar Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Missouri
Posts: 18
I am Katina. My husband and I have 3 living children, and on March 11, 2006 our angel was born silently at 21 weeks 1 day. I was told on March 9, 2006 at my ultrasound that there was no heartbeat. I was and still am devastated by this. Even 2 1/2 years later. My oldest son had gone to the dr appt that day with my husband and I, I figured it would be a wonderful experience for him, getting to see his brother or sister first. But he and my husband were rushed from the room, and I was not told anything. It was 2 hours later after they had gotten all the other patients out that they came in and told us what was going on. I was admitted the next night and delivered at 8:24 am on March 11, 2006. Which was 1 day shy of my daughter's 3rd birthday. We still do no know why it happened.
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  #52  
November 30th, 2008, 06:01 PM
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Posts: 1
Hello, my name is Melissa and I have two beautiful daughters, Meghan (8) and Maddie (6). This past May we delivered our son, Jacob, who was sleeping at birth. We were 20 weeks pregnant. We were told he had bilateral regenisis which is a fancy way of saying he had no kidneys, so no lungs could develop and no aminiotic fluid. I had waited 5 years for my husband to agree to another child. He is convinced this was God's answer to my prayer. I can't and don't believe that. I still ache for another child but also ache for my Jacob. his due date has come and gone now. We celebrated Halloween and THanksgiving but it is not the same. I feel like our family is missing someone now. How can that be when I never even got to hear him cry? Thank you to all who have posted. It has helped to know I am not alone in this.
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  #53  
November 30th, 2008, 06:22 PM
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Location: Omaha, Nebraska
Posts: 2
Hello,

My name is Katie and I kost my baby girl Eliza Grace at 26 weeks July 29, 2008. I lost her after 13 weeks of bleeding and 8 weeks of leaking fluid. I was on bed rest for 8 weeks and was a few days short of going into the hospital for 8 weeks until they delivered her at 34 weeks. I woke up at 2:00 A.M. and discovered her umbilical cord had prolapsed. I called the hospital I was supposed to go to ans asked if I should go there or a closer hospital. They told me to hang up and dial 911 when the ambulance came I was told they wouldn't take me to my hospital because there was another one closer. After I reached the hospital I was told after the nurses and my doctor did an ultrasound that my daughter had no heartbeat and they induced labor. Since this was 3 something in the morning they had to call in an ultrasound tech who showed up after I was already induced. Quite a while after she did her ultrasound(that I turned my head away from) the nurses came in and shut my I.V. off and tipped my bed so my legs were higher than my head. My doctor came in and said that the ulrasound tech had seen my daughters heart beat and I would need to be transfered to a different hospital equiped to handle this situation(which is what I was trying to do when this all started) I said O.K. Now 6 hours after this started I was in another ambulance on my way to a hospital with a NICU. When I arrived I had an entire room of doctors and nurses waiting for me plus an O.R. on standby. They did another ultrasound and I was once again told my daughter had no heartbeat. I was hooked back up to an I.V. given an epidural and over 13 hours after I woke up I delivered my beautiful baby girl. I have wondered everyday if I could have done anything different and wonder why after all those weeks of complications why I couldn't have held on just a little longer and been safe in the hospital. I am lucky enough to have a 13 year old son to love and take care of which keeps me from breaking down 24 hours a day. I feel more sorry for him because he waited all this time to be a big brother and I feel bad for my husband because Eliza was his first child. I waited a long time to have another child and I hope to be blessed with another chance.
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  #54  
December 4th, 2008, 01:57 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,304
Hello everyone,
I lost my son Jake at 40 weeks on August 1 1999 due to a dying placenta that was only 1/3 of the normal size. The doctors never knew why the placenta was dying but made assumptions that turned out to be wrong. I was supposed to have a late term ultrasound but because everything looked good on paper my doc said it was not necessary. I told my doctor that the baby was not moving at my last visit and was told not to worry that it is normal for the baby not to move and he turned down my request for a non stress test. However the next morning i went to the hospital and demanded one and found out my child had died between the visit to my doctor's in the afternoon and that morning. The nurse couldnt find the heartbeat and went to get the doctor and I just knew....And the guilt was overwhelming and if i had only been more demanding. I was so devastated and shocked because in my innocence I had not heard about stillbirths and assumed that if you do not have a miscarriage then you bring home a little baby. The first year was the hardest and I couldnt look at a pregnant woman without feeling sick to my stomach. And I am sure all of us have had to deal with remarks made from friends and loved ones that unintentionally hurt more than helped. All I wanted was my sweet baby boy and to hold him in my arms. It took 3 years to get pregnant again and I am sure it was due to the stress of wanting a baby so badly and being scared at the thought of being pregnant again. I have gone on to have 3 live healthy amazing children and am so thankful for them. My second pregnancy was extremely emotional and I tried not to bond with the baby inside me for fear that he wouldnt survive either but he did and is now 5 and so wonderful. It was also hard watching him go through all his 'firsts' and knowing that my first son was robbed of all that. I still think about Jake all the time and his brothers and sister know that he existed and all of them are treasures and deeply loved. It is such a devastating loss as unfortunately everyone here knows. My heart goes out to all of you.
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  #55  
December 28th, 2008, 08:17 PM
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Hi, My name is Candace and my Fiance is Colin. We lost our baby Paisley on Sept 13th 2008. On sept 11th i went into the hospital to be induced. Everything was good. she was moving, kicking, her heart beating. A few hours after i was induced her heart stopped. I delivered her 2 days later.

Colin called a photographer with NOW I LAY ME DOWN TO SLEEP and we took pictures for a few hours.
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  #56  
December 29th, 2008, 11:43 AM
grlpisces's Avatar Dynamite w/ a laser beam
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Location: 32.918289,-97.272266
Posts: 1,758
Greetings, Everyone ---

My name is Barb, I am married 6.5 years to the most wonderful man I know, and we had been TTC for 5 years when lots of prayers and modern science blessed us with B / G twins in December 2007. Because I was considered high-risk (35, multiples, gestational diabetes), I was seeing my OB and a perinatologist.

At 32 weeks during a routine sonogram visit, the perinatologist could not detect our son Noah's heartbeat. His sister Julia was delivered via C-section on July 22, 2008 at 4 lbs., 11 ozs. and stayed in the NICU for 4 weeks.

She is the light of our lives and I cannot imagine life without her. On a daily basis, however, I have to wonder what life would be like with both of them

I want to give everyone here a big HUG, because it sucks like mad that we all have this in common.

- Barb
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  #57  
December 29th, 2008, 04:11 PM
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 11
Hi Everyone.

My name is Theresa. My husband and I lost our son Colin Joseph on November 10, 2008, 8 days before my due date at 39 weeks after a perfect, problem free pregnancy. We had just been to our routine visit on Thursday and heard Colin's heartbeat. On Sunday morning, I didn't feel Colin moving around so much so I called my doctor who said to go to the hospital just to make sure everything was OK and that's when we found our baby's heart had stopped beating.

I have been reading messages on this board since Colin passed away and everyone seems very supportive, so I decided to join.
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  #58  
December 29th, 2008, 09:20 PM
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Posts: 34
My husband and I had our daughter 11/03 and it was a picture perfect pregnancy and delivery. Feb. 06 at our ultrasound for our second pregnancy (20 and a half wks)with our daughter so she could she if she was going to have a baby brother or sisiter the doctor told us (after the tech didn't say anything and left the room for an eternity) there was no heartbeat. I was admitted to the hospital the next morning and delivered a baby girl that night. We went on to get pregnant and miscarried at 6 wks in July 06. I got pregnant Aug. 06 and delivered a 9 lb boy May 07. We are expecting our third Aug. 09. We felt very alone at the time and sharing the our story with others who have been through the same is comforting. I am trying so hard not to worry about this pregnancy, but that's impossible.
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  #59  
December 30th, 2008, 01:17 AM
claire1979's Avatar mummy to a special angel
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just wanted to welcome new members with a sad but very warm welcome!
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  #60  
December 31st, 2008, 07:01 AM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Posts: 4,847
So many new people having to join this board. I'm so sorry for all of your losses. Welcome here with sad but open arms.
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