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  Subscribe To Stillbirth Forum Welcomes You with Sadness LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
February 24th, 2006, 06:05 AM
tonyarn's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Marion, Iowa
Posts: 14,544
Hi! I'm Tonya. My husband and I lost a baby almost 2 years ago now on April 16. I was 34 weeks, 6 days when I delivered him. We named him Tucker Dean. The first year was just aweful, but the past year has been much better. I still think about him often, especially now that I have another baby. I always think about what I missed.
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I have 3 angels waiting for me in heaven.
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  #2  
February 24th, 2006, 07:18 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Alberta Canada
Posts: 566
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Im Julia, my husband and I lost our son Joshua a year ago. He was stillborn at 21weeks. I still have a hard time sometimes, because everyone i know is either pregnant or has a new baby and I want #2 so badly. My husband doesnt really understand about how I feel and tells me I need to get over it...which i never will...he is my son, no matter if he is here or in heaven. I am glad to have this board and i look forward to getting to know you
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  #3  
February 24th, 2006, 08:38 PM
tonyarn's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Marion, Iowa
Posts: 14,544
Believe me, I understand! I was so bad that I finally decided to go see a counselor shortly before I became pregnant again. I didn't go to her for long, though because I felt she didn't have a clue and I'd walk out of her office angrier than I walked in. I think my breaking point was one day I sat in my closet behind all the clothes and just sat there and screamed for almost a whole day. I think my DH and DD thought I had lost my mind!
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  #4  
February 28th, 2006, 01:00 AM
Ben,Logan&Kaitlin'sMommy's Avatar Super Moderator
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Beaverbank, Nova Scotia
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Hi Ladies

my name is Jennifer - my husband and I lost my daughter Rebecca Lee Hartling-Thompson over two years ago when I was 27 weeks and 1 day gestation when we lost our precious daughter. 1lbs 15oz and she was beautiful.

I have a bouncy 10.5 month old now named Benjamin - he lights up my world

I am happy to meet both of you
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Marsha's Girlfriend

My Kiddos
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εϊз Some People Dream of Angels But I Held One In My Arms εϊз
Rebecca Lee Stillborn 10-30-03
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  #5  
March 1st, 2006, 07:32 AM
Stacia
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Posts: n/a
Hi, I'm Stacia. My ex-husband and I lost a baby girl at 26 weeks in 2000 and it eventually destroyed our relationship. I have since moved on and am now with a wonderful man and we are expecting our first together. I am still paranoid over every little thing and am hoping that the further I get into the pregnancy the easier it will get. It is great to see all of you who have gone on to have healthy babies.
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  #6  
March 1st, 2006, 11:52 AM
Prudence's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 653
I am June I lost my second child at 23 weeks gestation.
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  #7  
March 1st, 2006, 01:36 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,583
Hi all, my name is Raquel, my DH and I lost our son Aries almost 6months ago at 24wks 1day. To say the least this has been hell on our family. Right now we are TTC another but haven't been having the best of luck, just found out that now I'm not ovulating and with my next cycle I start clomid.

We do have 3 other children, Anthony, Alexis and Aiden. I look foward to getting to know you all, although I see some familiar people.....HI June, HI Jennifer!!!!
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Raquel Mom to The "A" Team: Anthony, almost 10yrs old (OMG double digits!!!!), Alexis, 8, Aiden, 5
Missing our Angel: Aries Isaiah 09/06/05 Carried you for only 24wks1d but in Mommy's heart FOREVER

To my Aries:
The time we had with you was brief,
We had to say good-bye,
Now angels kiss your little face,
And sing your lullaby.

Someday again, we'll be with you,
To cherish all those things,
Until that day it helps to know,
You're safe in angels wings.





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  #8  
March 3rd, 2006, 11:38 PM
lizzy27's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 27,575
Hi everyone, and I'm so sorry for all your losses. Sending you all big !

I've already written a bit about myself in some other posts, but I guess I'll be more comprehensive here.

We found out last May at 20w that our baby had anencephaly, a severe neural tube defect where the brain doesn't develop past the brain stem. Our doctor explained she would die either before birth, during labor, or shortly following birth.

We were absolutely devastated. We had been TTC for three years, then had a m/c, and then this news. We are Catholic, and our faith helped us tremendously. We had very good support from most of our family and friends. Our doctor is fabulous and very supportive.

We were sent to a high-risk clinic for a level II to confirm the diagnosis, and also to talk with a perinatologist. Awful, awful experience. While it was nice to see our baby again, and find out she was a girl, and get some pictures, the doctor afterwards tried to talk us into aborting. That was completely out of the question. Just because my baby wasn't "perfect", I wasn't going to end her life that was already going to be so short.

We had ten weeks after that to "get to know her", just care for and love her, and celebrate her little life. She was and is so incredibly special to me. My first daughter.

We decided at one point we were naming her Grace Therese. Grace, because above all we felt God's grace helping us get through, and Therese for St. Therese, a beautiful little soul who, though she had a lot of limitations, loved God in her own little way. We felt that this was appropriate because our baby touched so many lives, even with her short time on earth.

If you'd like to read more about our journey with Grace, you can read about her on our website that we created to update friends and family: Gracie's website

Two and a half months after delivering our Gracie, we conceived the baby I am now carrying. This was a pure gift from God and a miracle. We hadn't been able to conceive naturally before. I had never ovulated without the help of Clomid before. We think it's because my body went through a pregnancy... something about carrying and delivering Gracie helped my body kick into gear! If I ever see that high-risk doctor who told me to abort my daughter, I am telling her straight to her face that her advice could have cost us not one but TWO babies.

We had our diagnostic ultrasound two weeks ago, and this baby does not have anencephaly. Everything looks very healthy. We are very relieved and happy!

Sorry this was long. I am glad to see that this board was created, though I'm sorry that anyone has any need to come here. Thanks for listening/reading.

Liz
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  #9  
March 4th, 2006, 04:59 AM
Ben,Logan&Kaitlin'sMommy's Avatar Super Moderator
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I am so glad you found us too liz - what a beautiful story - Grace sounds like the perfect name! I look forward to getting to know you better - I know you from the Soaps Forum but never knew of your precious Grace
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Marsha's Girlfriend

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Benjamin (9)
Logan (6), Kaitlin (3)



εϊз Some People Dream of Angels But I Held One In My Arms εϊз
Rebecca Lee Stillborn 10-30-03
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  #10  
March 5th, 2006, 11:57 PM
Stacia
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Posts: n/a
Liz, Thank you for sharing Grace's story. I have so much admiration for the strength and courage you displayed trying to carry Grace to full term.
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  #11  
March 6th, 2006, 06:47 AM
anissa's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Florida
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Hello everybody. I wrote an intro somewhere else but will but it here too. My husband and I lost our precious little Emma Grace at 22 weeks. We found out at our 19 weeks scan that something was wrong. They then sent us for a level II u/s and gave us the devastating news about our little girl. She had severe Hydrocephalus and only a partial brain. She had more fluid in her head then brain tissue. She also had a chromosomal problem. It was the chromosomal problem that caused everything else.

We came to find out that my Husband has a chromosomal defect with his chromosome #3. This also explains our miscarriages. This pregnancy I am on now is pregnancy #5. I got PG again only one cycle after I lost Emma Grace. I miss her daily but also have my fingers crossed that I bring this little one I am carrying now home.
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Me Anissa
DH Tom
Kirstin 05/04/03
Gavin Thomas 06/01/06
Emma Grace Born Sleeping 8/4/05 22 Weeks
Some people only dream of holding an Angel I actually held one!
Angel Baby 8/14/02
Angel Baby 12/28/04


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  #12  
March 13th, 2006, 10:08 PM
joandsarah77's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,547
Hi, can I join this group? my daughter wasn't actualy born still, she lived for 40 minutes although she looked still unless looking closly.

Like Liz my daughter Elizabeth Joy also had anencephaly. I Don't find many people posting on boards who have had a baby with this birth defect. We found out at the 19 week scan and carried till 33 weeks when I developed polyhydramicus (high fluid) and had my first of 3 ceasers.

I got pregnant 3 months after Elizabeth and had our daughter sarah, who is now 4 and last year had our son Daniel who is now 17 months.
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  #13  
March 13th, 2006, 10:56 PM
lizzy27's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 27,575
Hi Jo, so sorry to hear about how you lost your Elizabeth Joy, but glad you found us.

Have you heard of ABFA? Anencephaly Blessings from Above, it's a support group for those who have had children with anencephaly and made the decision to carry to term. If you're interested, check it out: ABFA support group. There are some fantastic women who post there.

Just curious, if you don't mind my asking... did you do anything differently with your subsequent pregnancies? My doctor had me on 4mg of folic acid leading up to conception, and then three months into the pregnancy.

Looking forward to getting to know you better.

Liz
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  #14  
March 13th, 2006, 11:55 PM
joandsarah77's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,547
Hi Liz, yes I have. I joined there about 6 years ago. If the keep arcives that far back I'm probably in there but don't remember what nick I was using. Elizabeth should be on the calander though as the 10th of Aug. I'm still a member but don't post anymore. When I was pregnant and shortly after I posted quite often but now 5 1/2 years later I find reading posts more upsetting then anything so I mostly don't even read, just now and then. I can't bring myself to unsubscribe though, weird I guess.

We believe the reason for Elezabeth's anen was due to the medication I was on. She was an unplanned baby but I was actualy taking 5mg of folic acid even then because I knew I was at risk of cleph palet and spina bifida should I become pregnant. No one told me about anen, or that 5mg may still be inadiquit due to the fact the medication binds it up so less is available, and that they can't really know how much is needed. I probably needed 10mg. What changed is that I subsequently came off the medication. I continued to take the 5mg of folic acid through both other pregnancies.

I normaly post on the homeschooling board but found this forum just today as I was looking around.
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  #15  
May 12th, 2006, 08:28 AM
carolinagirl's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 2,053
Hi, my name is Tracey and it has been almost 12 years since I lost my son Christian. I was 27 1/2 weeks pregnant when I went into premature labor at 19. My precious baby boy only survived for 3 days before passing. I was married to a loser and his psycho mother (Christian's very own Grandmother) got angry at us one day over something my ex did and threw our stuff out of the house. Before we could get home the garbage truck had collected our things - including my suitcase which I had the only picture of Christian alive right after I gave birth on a certificate with his foot prints framed in a sterling silver frame my mother had given me!! I have nothing from my pregnancy with Christian. All I have are my memories. Thank goodness we (my exhusband and I) had taken Christian's remains to be buried with my ex's Grandfather in New York. I'm heartsick knowing the only physical thing I had is gone. I also M/C March 17, 2004 at 7 weeks.
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  #16  
May 12th, 2006, 10:54 AM
Ben,Logan&Kaitlin'sMommy's Avatar Super Moderator
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Hi Tracey - I am so sorry that your exMIL did that to you - that is horrible. I can't believe your only stuff of Christian is gone.

That is the best thing about memories -- we will always have them!! No one can take those away from us.

Thanks for stopping by
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Marsha's Girlfriend

My Kiddos
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Logan (6), Kaitlin (3)



εϊз Some People Dream of Angels But I Held One In My Arms εϊз
Rebecca Lee Stillborn 10-30-03
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  #17  
May 13th, 2006, 04:34 PM
Veteran
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 277
Hi ladies!

My name is Amanda, and I lost my little girl Healie Marie 3 weeks ago. I was at 23 weeks and 1 day. She was born still, after going into pre-term labor. She couldn't even take a single breath

I am still very sad and I cry day after day.

God bless you ladies!
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  #19  
June 3rd, 2006, 01:52 PM
kaila's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 1,701
Hey everyone, i lost my dear matthew on 16th june 2003, i was 34 weeks and 4 days pregnant and the cause was unknown. The doctors think that i 'cannot deliver healthy boys'

But anyway, he was 2lb 3 oz and so tiny less than 12"
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  #20  
June 14th, 2006, 01:51 PM
Catherine's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Cleveland, OH
Posts: 1,735
I'm Catherine/Kate (34) and my DH is Steve (35). We have one living son, Samuel (4). We lost our second son, Alex, on May 11, 2005 at 35 weeks, due to an undiagnosed intrauterine bacterial infection. I had noticed a lack of movement and went in for a doppler check. That is when our world fell apart. I was sent to the hospital and induced. 72+ hours later, Alex was born silently. He was so beautiful.

We took time to grieve and decided to take the scary step to TTC again. I became pregnant at the end of December, 2005, and had a picture perfect pregnancy. I was monitored closely by my OB and my Peri for any signs of a recurrence of infection. I woke up early Sunday, May 7th, and knew something was wrong. I had no signs or symptoms, I just knew. I went to the hospital for a doppler check and found that Travis was gone. He was 20 weeks, so I was checked in and induced again. Travis was stillborn on May 8th. There is no definite answer as to why. My OB believes a viral infection played a role (as opposed to bacterial with Alex), but we have no concrete explanation.

I don't know where I am right now, other than that dark and scary place where nothing seems real and the future seems uncertain. I take comfort in my husband, our living son and the animals on our small farm.

It's funny, because when I was in the hospital laboring with Travis, there was a woman delivering a stillborn baby in the room next door (you can tell by those little cards they stick on the door). I was more sad for her, because I know the devestation she was feeling and would be feeling. I was the pro at delivering dead babies...I know the path already. But now that I've had a month, I'm not feeing so sure of myself as the pro. I miss my boys and I have no idea what to do next with my life.

Catherine
Mommy to Sam (5/27/02) and my angels Alex (5/11/05) and Travis (5/8/06)
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