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  #1  
October 18th, 2011, 02:59 PM
ma4 ma4 is offline
Newbie
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 9
I'm new here and to this whole message board thing, I never usually talk about any problems. I was pregnant with my 4th baby, I was finally going to have my little girl, and I was 25wks and lost her. Or more accurately, the doc.said she probably passed about 2wks prior. I never had anything like this happen before so it's kind of hard for me still. The doc. said it was an inflammation of the placenta but a couple of weeks before my appointed u/s I didn't feel her move. I was a bit panicked about it but my husband was asking around and heard that around that time the baby may flip over and face my back. A few days after feeling no movement I went to my sis's bachelorette party (no drinking of course) and that night I felt what I thought were 2 kicks in my abdomen and a day later a kick in my back so I thought maybe she was just a lazy baby. Then about a week or so after that I started feeling some light braxton-hicks, or so I thought. The day of my sis's wedding I got the worst news ever. Some days I think I'm not so bad but every couple days or so I can't stop crying or get out of bed except to take my boys to school. I just feel like such a failure, maybe I was too happy? Or I shouldn't have insisted this was going to be my last pregnancy because I was basically starting over as my boys are 8, 9, and 10. I would like to be pregnant again and soon. You may miss being pregnant some years after you have your latest kid. But when your pregnancy has to stop mid-way thru you realize you miss being pregnant even more. But then what if something like this happens again? And what if my hubby will do this baby thing one more time then no more kids and I get pregnant with yet another boy and I never get my little girl that I have wanted for so long. I just keep thinking of all the things I'll be missing with her, all the usual baby stuff, and as she gets older her first crush, first kiss, first boyfriend, when she finds her husband and has her kids, I'll never get any of that. It's just different for boys, I'm close with mine and love them to death but having a girl she'll be able to feel all those things you felt and be closer to each other than you can with sons b/c that's just creepy to be that close to your boys. Idk all those just cycle thru my head all day long everyday. Maybe I'm going crazy. I'm just getting real obsessed with wanting my own daughter. Sorry for this rant just wanted to get some of it off my chest (yes there's more stuff but another time).
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  #2  
June 1st, 2012, 12:53 AM
Regular
Join Date: May 2012
Location: california
Posts: 85
first of all, don't ever think that his is your fault. it's not. it's not anybody's fault. if you want to try for another baby, i say go for it. if you end up not getting your little girl and you know for sure that the next baby you have is definitely your last, you can always look into adopting a little girl. i know it's not the same as giving birth to her, but you would have that little girl you've been wanting. if you end up not doing that, just remember that you still have your boys, and you wouldn't love them any less. i'm sorry about your loss and i hope that you finally get that baby girl you want. you deserve her.
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