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  #1  
April 3rd, 2011, 04:28 PM
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My husband is making me crazy. We want to buy a house. We barely have 10% for the down payment--not to mention renovations and what not. For a few weeks I've been kind of showing him very gently how we can save money here and there without changing our lifestyle too much. Yesterday I said to him, "I'd like to try to keep the grocery bill between $750-800 this month and try to limit eating out to once a week."

So last night he wanted breakfast for dinner. That worked for me because we had bacon and stuff to make pancakes--along with lots of fresh fruits (mangoes, bananas, pears). As I was starting to mix up the batter he announced he wanted OJ. So he came home with a half gallon of Odwalla OJ that was $8.50. Not only that but he also purchased two pounds of organic strawberries that were $6.99 a pound, along with premade shortcakes. He said, "I thought we would have shortcake for dessert." You know, after our pancakes and syrup!?! We didn't even end up eating them--because once they went in the fridge he forgot they existed.

This morning I told him we could have the shortcake for breakfast, but he wanted to go for bagels across the street. The 7-Eleven is next door, so I agreed and we got the paper and looked at coupons and discussed the values and savings--and even things we could do to donate to the community center even if we don't use certain products.


We came home and he convince the kids we should get Mexican brunch for $48!!!

After that we went to Target where I paired sales, clearances, and coupons to save $20.

And he spent $100 on what has become the tradition of disposable Weber grills for us. He threw the old one put this morning.

I pulled into Whole Foods and asked if he could just go in an buy a pound of steak. We are four people, one pound of steak would be fine. He came out with two pounds of organic dry aged rib-eyes for $41.

I feel like I'm struggling to keep balance here. We try to keep organic and green.
But four people don't need two pounds of $21 steak!

On top of that I'm looking at a flat screen plasma TV on it's side behind our bedroom door because last week he just bought a bigger one. Like, didn't ask me. Now we have this other TV making our house cluttered and I'm just aggravated!!!
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  #2  
April 3rd, 2011, 07:19 PM
~Jess~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Central California
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This is exactly why my husband isn't allowed to do ANY shopping. Like, he can't even go with me to the store, he HAS to stay at home with the kids while *I* go. lol.
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  #3  
April 4th, 2011, 02:49 AM
Luv2Laugh's Avatar Frugalicious mama!
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Location: Pa
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Yikes! I'd probably kill my husband lol. It won't be an overnight thing, but hopefully he "gets" it soon.
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  #4  
April 4th, 2011, 04:47 AM
youngwoman's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Wow! Yeah, I think I'd forbid him to do any grocery shopping for awhile, since he seems to be an impulse shopper. The big items - like a new TV or grill without any discussion - would really bother me though. I hope you can get him on board with you!
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  #5  
April 4th, 2011, 05:08 AM
Repti.Mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Posts: 15,641
It's different because we simply CANT afford to do stuff like that. We literally have lived paycheck to paycheck since we got together, so it's never been like that. The only time he splurges is at tax time, but he asks first

Take that grill out of the garbage and sell it on CL for $15.00, same with everything else that you feel is clutter! I can't believe he threw away a grill, it takes time to even get them seasoned right! Ours is 8 years old and perfect
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  #6  
April 4th, 2011, 11:37 AM
2pinks&ablue's Avatar Chantelle
Join Date: May 2007
Location: NB, Canada
Posts: 36,142
Wow, my SO is bad with money, but not that bad! Maybe it's time to stop showing him gently, and show him right out? If you think that would help.. My SO isn't allowed to go shopping, unless I'm sending him out just for milk and bread or something, and he knows that he is not to come back with anything more than just milk and bread, or else!
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  #7  
April 4th, 2011, 12:15 PM
Caelen's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Hurley, WI
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Jess~ View Post
This is exactly why my husband isn't allowed to do ANY shopping. Like, he can't even go with me to the store, he HAS to stay at home with the kids while *I* go. lol.
ditto. mine buys tons of junk food
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  #8  
April 5th, 2011, 10:39 AM
Mom 2 Alayna N Hayden's Avatar Texan In Seattle
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Location: East of Seattle
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Yuck! I'd put him on an allowance! LOL, I literally had to do that with my DH. Now he knows better and doesn't buy anything without my approval. Sounds hard, but it's what has kept us afloat these past 3 years.
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  #9  
April 5th, 2011, 10:05 PM
ashleighgurl's Avatar Loving Wife and Mommy
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Wow!

My DH and I have an "allowance" each week. We both know what needs to get paid and how much we have, though I handle most of the financial stuff. We can spend this "allowance" on whatever we want, but that's it. Also, if we want or think we need something over a certain amount, then we ask each other first. No big purchases without asking each other.

I agree that you should do all the shopping from now on. Will he get onboard with that? I also think it might be a good idea to talk about when you need to consult each other, such as for big purchases?
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  #10  
April 6th, 2011, 07:00 AM
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Thanks for understanding ladies. It's a tough situation because we have the cash available, so he doesn't think he's wasting it. Also, since he is the breadwinner, he feels like it's his money---and not even in a condescending kind of way. More like 55% his and 45% mine. He has no issue with me spending the money..he just wants to buy stuff when he wants to buy stuff. Like, umm, he makes the money and doesn't think I should tell him that he can't spend it.

I feel so stuck in my attempt to explain to him that we need to save for our home. I feel like he has absolutely no clue how much it costs to renovate a home. Heck, I don't think he realizes how much it costs to maintain a home. I've had a conversation on the tip of my tongue for a week--about how we could set aside $1,000 a month more than we do. That would save more for our house, but also teach us to live more frugally--without depriving us. I know it's going to irritate him, though, and I hate arguing with him about this.
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Please excuse typos as most of my posts are made on my iPhone while nursing my toddler. Yup--I practice self weaning.

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  #11  
April 6th, 2011, 06:03 PM
momtothe3rdpower's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Florida
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Oh, wow, I would be SO IRKED! My dh can be a budget buster at times, but no where near that extreme!! Probably because we don't have enough extra in our bank account for a splurge like that!!
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  #12  
April 6th, 2011, 09:03 PM
ashleighgurl's Avatar Loving Wife and Mommy
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I really think you need to sit down with him and figure out what you two want to do about financial matters. Maybe if you discuss things with him, he can see where you are coming from? Maybe make some goals for saving/spending? It took DH and I a while to get things together and be on the same page, but it worked eventually.
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Kyleigh - 4 years old
Our beautiful miracle baby..


Do you want to learn how to stretch your dollars further?
Come join us on the Frugal Mommies Board!
Latest Trip: Spent $90, Saved $400!
Latest donation trip: Spent $0, Saved $675!!!
Check out what I'm selling! Lots of baby/toddler things!





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  #13  
April 7th, 2011, 04:36 AM
youngwoman's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Georgia
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to Ashleigh. Ask him if he truly has a goal of owning a home. If he does, then he is going to have to make that a priority. Years ago, my DH & I had this dicussion. I loved shopping, buying clothes, going to concerts, etc. And my DH said that was fine if I wanted to do that, but that meant it would take that much longer to save anything and to own a home. I got the message and when I wanted to buy something, I asked myself, "Do I want a house or do I want this?" It helped!
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  #14  
April 7th, 2011, 10:01 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by youngwoman View Post
to Ashleigh. Ask him if he truly has a goal of owning a home. If he does, then he is going to have to make that a priority. Years ago, my DH & I had this dicussion. I loved shopping, buying clothes, going to concerts, etc. And my DH said that was fine if I wanted to do that, but that meant it would take that much longer to save anything and to own a home. I got the message and when I wanted to buy something, I asked myself, "Do I want a house or do I want this?" It helped!
This is a great suggestion!! Thanks.
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Please excuse typos as most of my posts are made on my iPhone while nursing my toddler. Yup--I practice self weaning.

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  #15  
April 10th, 2011, 08:52 PM
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Someone needs to beat my husband over the head for me, please!

This is our budget every month:

$350 a month on student loans (2% interest, so we just keep the money in our bank earning 4%)
$89 cable
$90 AT&T for my iPhone (his phone is provided by work)
$120 electric
$50 gas, water, and garbage
$510 Oddyssey payment (3%)
$2400 Rent
$40 Weight Watchers
$72.50 YMCA
$110 kids' activities
$900 household supplies and food
$200 pet food and grooming

His take home is $6800---after health insurance, pet insurance, college, retirement, and Investment funds are covered. All of our contributions are higher than average. His take home also excludes the $30-70k in bonuses he gets a year.

This totals about $5000. Even if we used $800 a month for gas and entertainment, we could reasonably save an extra $1000.

Yea, I'm apparently out of my mind!?!

I know you're all sick of hearing this, but I needed to vent (again!).
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Please excuse typos as most of my posts are made on my iPhone while nursing my toddler. Yup--I practice self weaning.

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  #16  
April 10th, 2011, 10:40 PM
ashleighgurl's Avatar Loving Wife and Mommy
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Location: Arizona - formally, Michigan
Posts: 12,763
Yeah, there is no reason you couldn't be saving $1,000. Vent all you need!
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*Ashleigh*
Wife*Mother*Student*Entrepreneur*
Kyleigh - 4 years old
Our beautiful miracle baby..


Do you want to learn how to stretch your dollars further?
Come join us on the Frugal Mommies Board!
Latest Trip: Spent $90, Saved $400!
Latest donation trip: Spent $0, Saved $675!!!
Check out what I'm selling! Lots of baby/toddler things!





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  #17  
April 10th, 2011, 11:14 PM
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Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 308
See!

I left off a couple of items--

$160 for twice monthly cleaning
$80 car insurance
$21 for $400,000 life insurance for him (on top of two years salary from his employer)

Even still--if I could get him to stop spending like crazy, I could get somewhere with being able to renovate our dream home!
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Married, educated, atheist, mom of two girls--who chooses to stay home with her kids.

Please excuse typos as most of my posts are made on my iPhone while nursing my toddler. Yup--I practice self weaning.

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  #18  
April 10th, 2011, 11:21 PM
ashleighgurl's Avatar Loving Wife and Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Arizona - formally, Michigan
Posts: 12,763
What does he say about buying a house and renovating it? Does he think it is going to be cheaper then you think?

What does he say about his spending? Maybe you can start smaller and work your way up? Cut out some smaller things and keep building up?
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*Ashleigh*
Wife*Mother*Student*Entrepreneur*
Kyleigh - 4 years old
Our beautiful miracle baby..


Do you want to learn how to stretch your dollars further?
Come join us on the Frugal Mommies Board!
Latest Trip: Spent $90, Saved $400!
Latest donation trip: Spent $0, Saved $675!!!
Check out what I'm selling! Lots of baby/toddler things!





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  #19  
April 10th, 2011, 11:32 PM
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Posts: 308
He is the one who wants a home. Hes the one that is visiting home
Improvement stores and going all hung ho. Yet he bought a $100 pan for properly frying an over easy egg today. $100!!! I'm starting to think he doesn't actually get it. I told him the other day that I'm going to move all the money into savings. He got angry. Ugh.
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Married, educated, atheist, mom of two girls--who chooses to stay home with her kids.

Please excuse typos as most of my posts are made on my iPhone while nursing my toddler. Yup--I practice self weaning.

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  #20  
April 10th, 2011, 11:40 PM
ashleighgurl's Avatar Loving Wife and Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Arizona - formally, Michigan
Posts: 12,763
WOW! I don't know what you should do to make him get it.. He has got to get his spending under control if you want to work towards something.
__________________
*Ashleigh*
Wife*Mother*Student*Entrepreneur*
Kyleigh - 4 years old
Our beautiful miracle baby..


Do you want to learn how to stretch your dollars further?
Come join us on the Frugal Mommies Board!
Latest Trip: Spent $90, Saved $400!
Latest donation trip: Spent $0, Saved $675!!!
Check out what I'm selling! Lots of baby/toddler things!





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