[Innocentlildevil]

> Here Kitty, Kitty
>
>
>
> Cat Lover or not this is hysterical
>
> We've all had trouble with our animals, but I don't
>
> think anyone can top this one:
>
>
> Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No
>
> matter how legitimate my excuse, I always get the feeling that
>
> my boss thinks I'm lying.
>
> On one recent occasion, I had a valid reason but
>
> lied anyway, because the truth was just too darned humiliating. I
>
> simply mentioned that I had sustained a head injury, and I hoped I
> would
>
> feel up to coming in the next day. By then, I reasoned, I could think
>
> up a doozy to explain the bandage on the top of my head.
>
> The accident occurred mainly because I had given in to my wife's
>
> wishes to adopt a cute little kitty.
>
> Initially, the new acquisition was no problem. Then one morning,
>
> I was taking my shower after breakfast when I heard my wife, Deb,
>
> call out to me from the kitchen.
>
> Honey! The garbage disposal is dead again. Please come reset it."
>
>
> "You know where the button is," I protested through
>
> the shower pitter-patter and steam. "Reset it yourself!"
>
> But I'm scared!" she persisted. "What if it starts
>
> going and sucks me in?"
>
> There was a meaningful pause and then, "C'mon,
>
> it'll only take you a second." So out I came, dripping wet and
>
> buck naked, hoping that my silent outraged nudity would make a
>
> statement about how I perceived her behavior as extremely cowardly.
> Sighing
>
> loudly, I squatted down and stuck my head under the sink to find the
> button.
>
> It is the last action I remember performing.
>
> It struck without warning, and without any respect to my
> circumstances.
>
> No, it wasn't the hexed disposal, drawing me into its gnashing
>
> metal teeth. It was our new kitty, who discovered the fascinating
>
> dangling objects she spied hanging between my legs. She had been
> poised
>
> around the corner and stalked me as I reached under the sink.
>
> And at the precise moment when I was most vulnerable, she leapt
>
> at the toys I unwittingly offered and snagged them with her
> needle-like
>
> claws.
>
>
> I lost all rational thought to control orderly bodily movements,
> blindly
>
> rising at a violent rate of speed, with the full weight of kitten
> hanging from
>
> my masculine region.
>
> Wild animals are sometimes faced with a "fight or flight" syndrome
>
> Men... in this predicament, choose only the "flight" option. I
>
> know this from experience. I was fleeing straight up into the air
when

> the
>
> sink and cabinet bluntly and forcefully impeded my ascent.
>
>
> The impact knocked me out cold...
>
>
> When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me. Now there
>
> are not many things in this life worse than finding oneself lying on
> the
>
> kitchen floor buck naked in front of a group of "been-there,
> done-that"
>
> paramedics.
>
> Even worse, having been fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics
>
> were all snorting loudly as they tried to conduct their work, all the
> while
>
> trying to suppress their hysterical laughter......and not succeeding.
>
> Somehow I lived through it all..
>
> A few days later I finally made it back in to the
>
> office, where colleagues tried to coax an explanation of me about
>
> my head injury. I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk
> about,
>
> which it was.
>
> "What's the matter?" They all asked, "Cat got your tongue?" If they
>
> only knew!
>
> Why is it that only the women laugh at this?

((snicker))

[Fallen2Love]

OMG! That is to funny! Sounds like something our evil mutant cat would do

[Mod-Lady Valkyrie]

That's so funny!