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On Thursday, the 28th, I started having contractions around 3 am. I had no idea what was going on, I kept waking up with hip and back pain, and would automatically go to use the bathroom, thinking that was the reason I was awake. After a few times of this I realized that I didnít have anything in my bladder anymore. I was still really groggy though, and just kept going back to bed. Around 5:30 I started listening to my Hypnobabies, thinking that it wouldnít hurt, just in case this was it. At 6:30 I got up to pee again, and felt a little bit of a gush, so I headed towards the bathroom. The liquid was a dark yellow, so I thought maybe Iíd just peed myself. This happened a few other times when I got up or down, so I finally realized that it must be my water. I saw little dark particles floating in the bottom of the toilet afterwards, and realized that it was meconium. :/ I called my sister and talked it through with her, and she didnít have much to tell me, so I called L&D. They told me that it would be best to come in, just to be safe. I was a little upset at this, because I wanted to labor at home for as long as possible, and I knew that my contractions werenít that bad. I could still walk through them just fine at this point. I woke DH up and let him know the situation, then let my mom know. We headed to the hospital to get checked out. At home the contractions had been 3-4 minutes apart, but they slowed down to maybe 5-7 minutes apart while we were in the car. The nurse that was assigned to me didnít think that it was meconium in the amniotic fluid since it was yellow, but after another nurse checked me, she told me that it was, but there wasnít a ton. They initially put me in the midwifeís special room to begin with, even though she wouldnít be back in town until later that day. After consulting with the OB on call, they decided to move me to another room that had a birthing bed with the stirrups. I thought that was a little ridiculous, since her only excuse was that I had meconium in the fluid, and it was a precaution (maybe she thought I might need to be rushed to a c-section). She checked me around 8:30 or so (my memory with times is really off, so forgive me, everything is a bit of a blur when it comes to the timeline) and I was 2.5-3 cm dilated, and 80% effaced. Baby was at a -2 station. The exam hurt like heck, way worse than when the midwife checked me at the office. The beginning of the day just seemed to fly by. I sat around the room with DH, my mom, and my sister Andi, just chatting and trying to pass time. My contractions were slowly picking up in intensity, but I could still talk through most of them. Because of the slight complications, they were doing monitoring for 20 minute intervals every hour and a half. It wasnít too bad, but I had to stay in bed. I told them no to the saline lock, even though they said the OB said I had to have it. I knew I had the right to deny any treatment. Since the baby still looked great on the monitors, I didnít see a reason to have it, but told them that if she started to not do so well, Iíd get it, just in case. By the evening the contractions were finally about 4 minutes apart. Things got really intense, but I was still doing really well, and not doubting myself at all. I was starting to think that transition was coming soon; I thought that I must be getting somewhere. The nurse checked me sometime that afternoon, and I was still only at 3 cm, no progress at all yet. I was definitely moaning through each one of these contractions, and even started yelling through them a little nightfall. By about nine I was really starting to doubt myself, the contractions were lasting at least a minute or longer, and felt completely out of control. All I could do was lay in the bed or on the birthing ball and cry. The nurse came in to check me again, and said I was still only at 3 cm, but I was now 90% effaced. I broke down and said Iíd get the epidural. I was so angry with myself, but couldnít see how I could possibly do it. Iíd already been in labor for 18 hours, and I could swear I was in transition. The contractions were terrible, uncontrollable, and I couldnít breathe through them anymore. I was having back labor this whole time, and I had no break between contractions. My lower back had a constant cramping ache to it the entire time between contractions, which were still 4 minutes apart. It almost felt like the contractions didnít end. I was so afraid that things were going to end in a c-section, and I just wanted my midwife there to control things. No one had heard from her yet, and we still didnít know when sheíd be back into town. The nurse told me that the anesthesiologist wasnít at the hospital, but she wouldnít call him until I was completely hooked up the IV and all the monitors. I thought this was some sort of cruel joke, and ended up getting the stadol through my IV. The anesthesiologist finally got there and got the epidural in at 11. Before I even went into labor, I had told myself that if I went to 20 hours (which I said laughingly, I didnít think it would happen) that Iíd get the epi and not feel bad about it, but at the time, I still felt guilty. I was dozing in and out of sleep most of the night, but I think I got about 2 hours of sleep. I had a blood pressure cuff on that kept taking my BP every 15 minutes, and I had nurses coming in to do random tests every once in a while, so I really didnít do much more than doze. My midwife finally got into town at eleven, and got to the hospital at 1. She came in and talked with me, and told me she thought I should get pitocin and antibiotics. I had told the nurses to hold off on the pitocin originally (and the nurse told me that she canít ignore the OBís orders, ***?), and that I really wanted to see what my midwife had to say about it, because I trusted her judgment more than the OBís. The midwife went to rest for a while, and said that I should know when itís time to push, so I tried to sleep again. At 4 or so I told the nurse that I could feel my contractions, but they just felt like Braxton Hicks at this point. I woke up again at 5:30 and let her know that they were painful, kind of like what I was feeling at the beginning of labor. She checked me and said I was 9 cm and 100%! I was SO happy. We woke DH and my mom up (they had both spent the night, but my sister went home because she had a baby to nurse). I also called my sister and a few other people to let them know it was almost over, and Andi came up to see the birth. The contractions were getting fairly intense again, even with the epidural (which I now said that I was completely okay with having, since I had such a peaceful night, and now saw how long I still had to go) and I had to really breathe through them. Andi finally got there right as I was starting to push, and my midwife got out all her gear. She had a tub of warm water with towels in it, and was using them at warm compresses to help the tissue stretch. When she was finally down into the birth canal far enough that I could feel her head when I put my hands down there, my midwife start massaging olive oil into the tissues to help them stretch and not tear. She finally came out, after a good hour and a half of pushing and 28 hours of labor, and was born at 7:42 am. She weighed in at 7 lbs. and 9 oz. and was 21 inches long. I only had one very small tear, which was on the inside and didnít require stitches. We named her Emelia Kay Moore, Emma for short.
Even though it was NOT the birth I wanted, Iím very okay with everything that happened. Iím VERY glad I didnít end up with a c-section. The night nurse told me later that sheís surprised I didnít, I gave birth 25 hours after rupture, and normally 24 is the limit. So Iím VERY happy my midwife made it in time for everything, and Iím glad I got the epidural. I was told that my labor could have been even longer if I hadnít gotten it. I canít say I liked the OB; she wouldnít listen to anything I said, and ordered things for the nurses to do to me without ever even asking me or looking at my birth plan. She wouldnít let me use the tub because I was ruptured, even though I already had the okay from the midwife, and any time I used that excuse, I was told that sheís the OB on call, so itís her word, not the midwifeís. Luckily, I only had to see her once, and dealt mostly with the nurses. So considering the fact that I was ruptured for 25 hours, needed pitocin to get things moving, my midwife wasnít there to help me, and I had an OB that wanted to start the monitors and IV with pitocin from the start, I think I was very lucky to have things end up as well as they did.
Katy honey dont beat yourself up over the epi! you did beautifully and labored for long time! the important thing is you did your best to achieve what you wanted personally (even if there was a change of plans) and you have a beautiful baby girl now!! the truth is, labor hurts like a bi*** lol congratulations on the beautiful baby!!