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Do you and your dh disagree on TTC?


Forum: Waiting to Try to Conceive

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  #1  
January 18th, 2005, 03:47 PM
pattyandthemoos's Avatar Administrator
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Does one of you want another and the other doesn't? I know this is common. Just wondering if anyone else would really like another and their dh doesn't or maybe your dh wants another and you don't.

Right now we are not trying because neither of us want one right now but I would like another when Brandon gets a little older.
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  #2  
January 18th, 2005, 04:11 PM
mom2one's Avatar Super Mommy
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Do you and your dh disagree on TTC? NO! We are on the same page, we have one and are done! We both live in the same house and both experienced the joys and struggles we endured with my dd. So we have always agreed at the ? of more babies. We are happyas clams at this stage and know dd has no desire to share us with any other children!! We are all comfortable at this point in our lives and will leave well enough alone.
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  #3  
January 18th, 2005, 04:27 PM
TylerJ1029's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I want to start trying after Ty turns 2 but DH could wait longer than that. I dont want them too far apart though. I guess well have to see where we are at financially in Oct.
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  #4  
January 18th, 2005, 07:12 PM
If~Only~Life~Was~Easy's Avatar Veteran
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Well we havent started trying yet for a few reasons
We both live at home still saving up money to have a place
Not married yet
He wants to wait 3 or 4 years
I want to start sooner

So we agree we have to wait till we have a place and yes we should get married first but the order of that may not happen but yes we are protecting our selves now, we do know we want to wait, but the length of time is were we disagree a little bit.
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  #5  
March 4th, 2005, 08:44 AM
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what are opinions on only children around here>
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  #6  
March 4th, 2005, 12:26 PM
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We are in total agreement. We both want 3 or 4 kids, maybe even 5, depending on our finances. We have both said that we would have 10 if we could afford it, but I don't think that will ever happen, unfortunately, but we both really want a pretty big family. And, we're in agreement as to how far apart we want them and when to try. We talked about a lot of this before we even got married, so we kind of already had a plan.
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  #7  
March 5th, 2005, 06:31 AM
Twinkle's Avatar Platinum Super Mommy
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We both agree we want at least one more.... The question at this point is when. I honestly wouldn't mind starting ttc now, but I know that its not financially possible right now, which is what DH reminds me about. DH would like to wait 3 years, but I don't think I could wait more than 2. We will have to wait and see what happens.
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  #8  
March 9th, 2005, 11:01 AM
mamaB's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Its constantly evolving. When we were first married, I was the one pushing off kiddies, and DH was all for it. Five years later DD showed up, and my tune changed. Now I'm the one who wants more, and DH is the one with reservations. He even said he wouldn't rule out the possibility that our gal will be the only one.

Personally that would make me sad - it was nice growing up with a sibling of my own and I want the same for her.

But so many things conspire against it - finances being the biggest. Paying for college for just one makes me want to run screaming - tuition is insanity even for public schools, and private colleges borders on the semi-ridiculous. I can't even imagine trying to finance for two!

That said - a sibling is a lifelong gift, and I do want to give her that....despite DH's misgivings.

I'm sure its the same story for alot of people.
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  #9  
March 9th, 2005, 04:37 PM
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Yes I am sooo ready for a baby but he said that he wants to wait till we have money put back. I don't want to wait any suggestions?
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  #10  
March 9th, 2005, 05:09 PM
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Yes!!!!! I'm ready to start TTC (as soon as my fertility returns from its Breastfeeding induced Vacation). He wants to wait until Ry is out of diapers. Is it possible to potty train a 6 month old?? LOL. He wants to wait until September or October.
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  #11  
April 5th, 2005, 02:38 PM
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my partner and I have a beautiful 7 year old daughter named Brooklyn unfortunately she has microcephaly with learning and development delays.
Thing is I reeeeally feel I am ready to be a second time mum, but my partner is not sure.
Bringing up a child with learnig disability's has been hard work but so amazing and rewarding that I would not want it any other way.
My partner is worried that our second child may have the same problems - although through testing no genetic link has been found,
he is also worried that if are second child is "normal" Brooklyn may feel left behind somehow - I think having a brother or sister would be good for her and bring her on.
We have agreed to wait until after new year before deciding anything,as we are moving and have a couple of holidays booked this year.
I don't mind waiting, and I def do not want to force a decision out of him as I want any child I have to be wanted by the both of us.
am I selfish?? has anyone else been in a similar place.
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  #12  
April 5th, 2005, 03:44 PM
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My dh has been ready for our second while I had been reserved and wanting to wait. Now I very much have the baby fever but we our waiting to the end of year to have everything in place (that can be) and to save a little to take some extra time off.


KellyKelly--

I can relate with some of the feelings and thoughts both you and your dh are having. My son has been diagnossed w/Cranial Nerve 12 damage (tongue movement), duanes syndrome (eyes), and has alot of delays. The vote is still out if Grant's issues are gentic or not. We will have another MRI done at the end of the year to see if anything new has shown up. If there is malformation/damage to my sons cerebelum (sp?) then it would be genetic (sex-linked X) and I would carry a gene that would or could occur again in a lesser or greater degree in a future boy. They feel strongly that its not (past MRI showed nothing out of norm) but they want to completely rule out. Just the possibilty is scary!

I wanted to wait longer then my dh to devote more time to Grant and I always find myself worrying that a younger sibling could pass him up. Why do we worry about these things?? I don't know...but maybe because we worry that it would hurt them. But I also know what a joy a sibbling would bring and I want to give that to Grant too.

Grants in alot of headstart programs and even though we still have a long road ahead of us.....it is really rewarding to watch his improvements, knowing how much more work it can be for some kids. You can tell your daughter is the light of your life!! And your not selfish.....but making sure your husband is ready is the right thing to do. I hope we both our looking forward to our 2nd child in 2006!
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