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  #1  
March 26th, 2011, 12:14 PM
blessdmommy's Avatar Happy mama to 3!
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Southwest MI
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Have any of your friendships/relationships changed because of your ttc status? Weather you have kids now or not?

I've LOST friends because I have kids and am married. But I've also made friends because I'm a mommy/wife.

I feel like I've lost a friend or two because they have the idea that I'm not a good parent or something. I've tried getting together with a friend who has a baby as old as Ben and it seems like she's been avoiding me.
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  #2  
March 26th, 2011, 12:30 PM
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We don't have any kids yet, but we hardly have any friends! Probably because every one else our age is out partying and stuff, and we just aren't. I don't see it as a loss, though, because my DH is my best friend.

I'm sorry you're friend is avoiding you. To me, that sounds kinda crazy! But if she really is avoiding you because of that, well, she doesn't deserve you as a friend anyway. ♥
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  #3  
March 26th, 2011, 01:01 PM
taatie10's Avatar New Mommy & Pro Auntee
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Northern AZ
Posts: 4,817
I guess I'm lucky that I havent but its only because I didnt really have many friends to start with. I have the same 3-4 friends I have since Jr high & high school. I never had really any friends. None of my friends live in town anymore. One's in the Navy, another moved to Texas and another about hr and half away. They all know our status and all my feeling and struggles I've had with DH about it. But you guys are really the only friends I talk to regularly.
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  #4  
March 26th, 2011, 01:44 PM
LadyGamer's Avatar Objection!!!
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 12,480
The friends we have now we met after getting married, but none of them are married (or dating or anything) and being married doesn't cause any problems. There is no reason why we can't be friends with people because we want babies and they don't.
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  #5  
March 26th, 2011, 03:05 PM
blessdmommy's Avatar Happy mama to 3!
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Location: Southwest MI
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The majority of my friends don't live anywhere near me but are married and/or have kids. The ones that aren't married or don't have kids don't keep in touch anymore. Not that it really makes a difference because they're into partying ect and don't live near me anyway.

We've lived here for 3 years now. I made a few friends when I was going to college, but I'm not now and they were single gals.

I think the interesting thing about being a parent (and looking at how other people parent) is...no matter how you do it. Cloth diaper vs Sposies. Vax vs. No Vax...whatever the "thing" may be...you're always wondering if you're doing it right.
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  #6  
March 26th, 2011, 04:25 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 830
We don't have any kids yet, and we don't share our plans with friends in regards to when we'll ttc. We haven't lost any friends due to them having kids, however the amount of time we spend with our friends has definitely decreased big time, not because we want it to, just because it has, they are busy.
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  #7  
March 26th, 2011, 11:35 PM
M-n-MsMama0510's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 1,892
Oh yes !!! I've lost alot but thats because they want to go out alot and i will sit at the bar with them then just leave because I miss my kids and know in my heart a bar isnt where I belong or want to be. I do like to go out and have fun but I want the mommy fun now like bowling with kids and home by 9 haha. I dont miss the hang overs or nasty guys hitting on you.
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  #8  
March 27th, 2011, 03:25 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: London England
Posts: 553
I did when I was younger but I had kids at 18 and 21. Everyone was out partying and I wasn't.
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  #9  
March 27th, 2011, 06:56 PM
morris126's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Georgia
Posts: 436
I haven't really lost any friends, but we definitely do not hang out with them like we used to. I do not miss bars or partying at all.

I feel like when our friend circle all start having children, they will kind of get it ya know. We'll see I guess.
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  #10  
March 27th, 2011, 10:13 PM
MissusF's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Central CA
Posts: 3,559
Our TTC status is top secret, so that hasn't affected anything. I also don't think it will change much once I'm pregnant. I would still be able to do all the things with our friends that we do now. It will probably change some once baby arrives since the majority of our friends don't have kids or have grown kids. I can't foresee us losing friends necessarily, but I can see the amount of time we spend with them decreasing.
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  #11  
March 27th, 2011, 10:25 PM
(not so patiently) WTTC
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Southern CA
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^^ Ditto! Word for word, lol
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  #12  
March 28th, 2011, 06:56 AM
Cassie.S's Avatar Sophia's Mommy!
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Illinois
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We don't have kids yet, but I don't see my friends nearly as often since we moved about 4 years ago. I actually have one friend that moved here too, but we still don't see them very often. So I guess not much will change there when we do have kids.
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  #13  
March 28th, 2011, 09:56 AM
Spero's Avatar Nice to meet you, I'm Kat
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 837
I don't think we've lost any, but we don't really hang out as much. Since we moved, we really don't have more than 2 or 3 couples in town that I really call a friend. We don't have kids yet and most of the people our age that are married do. We really don't know many single people in the city we're living in. We do get visits from old friends occasionally. This weekend DH's bff came into town and it was SO much fun!! We haven't told him anything about our TTC plans, and he is really wigged out about people having kids, so I'm hoping it doesn't make things awkward when we do!
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  #14  
March 30th, 2011, 07:48 AM
Cait&AngelAbove's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 10,629
Yes. Since I got married I have lost friends I had before. Since ttc and our loss one of my SIL's will not talk to me. We were having problems before though and she does not really like anyone in the family. I have gotten closer to my MIL and other SIL through all this though.
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  #15  
March 30th, 2011, 02:18 PM
sweet.hun's Avatar We're Complete <3
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Ohio
Posts: 7,471
I've definitely lost a ton of friends after even just snagging my guy before we got married. My single friends wouldn't want to hang out anymore because I would want to bring Jesse with if we were going to a bar. I made friends with some of the air force wives of the other LT's, but we just don't hang out a lot. One of the girls lives really far away from the city and has 2 twin boys she adopted, and right now she's basically a single parent because her husband is on a year deployment. So she spends a lot of time with her parents, multiples group, church, etc.

I just don't have very many friends now. Also, online I can take my time to respond and say what I'm thinking, but in person I'm shy and can come across to others as a b**** when really I just don't know what to say or I'm not quick enough to say it. It really sucks because I would love to be more outgoing and everything, I just don't know how to do it.
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  #16  
March 31st, 2011, 07:24 AM
54321Guest12345
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Shasta, I don't have a lot of friends either. Actually, pretty much none! Ha. It doesn't bother me too much, though, my DH is my best friend, and I have a good time with him. (Guess that's a good thing, huh? ) Really, everyone here on JM are my closest friends! Probably because I feel like I can relate to everyone. Hardly anyone my age (19) is married, and most girls aren't wanting to be mommies right now.

I'm also the same about being shy. My brain just doesn't think quick enough IRL sometimes. It's better when I know the person I am talking to, but if I don't know them, I just never know what to say or talk about. So...people probably think that I am really awkward, or just stuck up. Oh well.
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