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Forum: Waiting to Try to Conceive


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March 29th, 2011, 06:15 PM
MomTo3LittleBoys's Avatar Love my house of boys!
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: United States
Posts: 3,764
So I should be ovulating really soon and usually that means baby fever out the butt!


Recently I have been rethinking our TTC date of July. I find myself thinking about pushing it back. Ethan took 8 steps in a row today, I was soooo excited.

I just want to soak all of him up! I am still very young (23), so technically I could prob wait as long as 10 years to have my second!! But I am not talking that much of a gap LOL

I am starting to think about maybe we should wait until he is like 2.5 to start trying. I think it would be easier financially as well as emotionally. He would be able to take care of himself at least a little and could help me out in small ways with a new baby at that age. A lot of my friends have kids REALLY close in age and dont recommend it.

My bro and I are 14 months apart and my mom doesnt suggest it either. Since we paid off our credit card and will be debt free by the end of the year, I just want to enjoy Ethan and be able to spend time with him and go on a REAL vacation.

When you have two kids vs One its a lot harder to go on vacations. I would have to ask my parents to watch two instead of just one. SO IDK...

What is everyone thinking for age gaps!? What is your two cents?
Love My House Of Boys!
DS1- 4 years old
DS2- 2 years old
DS3- Born 11/4/14

Last edited by MomTo3LittleBoys; March 29th, 2011 at 06:17 PM.
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March 29th, 2011, 06:33 PM
Effyx's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Michigan
Posts: 198
Growing up, I was the youngest by A LOT (I was a "surprise"). I really liked it that way. For my own family, we still haven't even decided if we'll have more than one. If we do, they will be close in age because we're starting so late.

DH already has an 11 year old daughter and all the cousins will be at least 9 by the time baby gets here. It'll be difficult, because there will be no family his/her age to be around
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March 29th, 2011, 06:49 PM
blessdmommy's Avatar Happy mama to 3!
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Southwest MI
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Jack and Ben are 21 months apart. I think that's about the CLOSEST I want any kids! It did get easier as I caught my barrings though...as far as caring for 2. As far as vacations..well...we take them both! We've only gone out together w/out the kids 1x since Ben was born 15 months ago. But this is due to some babysitting issues...we don't live close to family and Jack has PDD-NOS (an Autism spectrum disorder) so it's not like we can just hire anyone...

I would like to get pregnant so that the baby will be born AFTER Ben's 2nd birthday. So...pretty much anytime after April of this year.

Mama to 3, expecting #4 in December!

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March 29th, 2011, 07:02 PM
JesSsica's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: northern Indiana
Posts: 1,233
My kids are 18 months apart and that was hard! Madison couldn't walk and hold hands when Cole was born so I panicked if I was going grocery shopping and there were no carts left outside. Now it's easier since they're 3rd and 4th grade but it's tricky having Cole do the exact things Madison did the year before so he always feels like it's not uniquely his, you know?

In hindsight I would've done a couple kids about 5 years apart.
~*~ Jessica ~*~
Mom to:
Madison Rey 11-24-2000
Cole Anthony 5-23-2002
Mia Annelise 3-29-2012

^angel^ 10wks, 2 days, D&C 12wks, 3 days 11-2-09
^angel^ 5wks, 5 days 1-2-10
^angel^ 11wks, 1 day 5-22-10 with D&C
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March 29th, 2011, 07:15 PM
taatie10's Avatar New Mommy & Pro Auntee
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Northern AZ
Posts: 4,772
I want there to be 2 years at least between munchkins. But I think I would prefer 2 1/2 to 3 years. My sister had my two older nephews just two months shy of 3 years and it seemed good that way. The older one can and will entertain and play alone but also wants to help with the baby.
I see so many patients and friends of mine that have kids a year to 1 1/2 apart and it just seems too close. My thoughts are why do you want to miss out of some of your older ones baby stage by forcing them into being a big brother or sister having to share mommy & daddy. It seems even unintentionally the older one gets less attention because the new baby needs everything. Not to mention one baby in diapers is expensive enough.
But at this point I just want one before thinking down the road to another.

Thank you *JMC1988* for the perfect siggy

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March 29th, 2011, 07:15 PM
(not so patiently) WTTC
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Southern CA
Posts: 2,203
My sister and I are 7 years apart, and not close AT ALL. I know not all siblings are like that but i dont think I would want to do more the 3 years apart...

i just dont have a lot in common with a 19 year old who knows it all, lol.
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March 29th, 2011, 07:30 PM
blessdmommy's Avatar Happy mama to 3!
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Originally Posted by AshleyNR View Post
My sister and I are 7 years apart, and not close AT ALL. I know not all siblings are like that but i dont think I would want to do more the 3 years apart...

i just dont have a lot in common with a 19 year old who knows it all, lol.
I know how you feel. My half sister is 19.

Mama to 3, expecting #4 in December!

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March 29th, 2011, 07:52 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Ontario Canada
Posts: 2,684
my kids are 9, 5, 2 and sd is 6. I love the age gap. I have always travelled with them been through europe, Japan. my guys are close enough in age to play together but there is enough of a space so that they have different interests so not too competitve.

I was 5 years older then my one sister and 8 years older then the other and hated being so much older wouldn't like to have had to much more space between us. Although as adults now I am much closer to the sister that is 8 years younger so I guess it all worked out.
MOM of 6!

Thanks to Bokkechick for my wonderful Siggy!
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March 29th, 2011, 07:58 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: London England
Posts: 553
I am the oldest. My siblings are 6, 8, and 10 years younger than me. It wasn't the best growing up but my home life was not the most ideal anyway to be concerned about an age gap.

My 2 now are 3 1/2 months shy of 3 years gap. That worked well for me and well for alot I know who have that same gap of about 3 years. Having a new one with them in their teens will be nice. They can really be involved, not just with the baby but with the whole process, so that is great. Problem, you got to wait 13 years between them lol.

I think if you want more time with just Ethan, then hold off a bit. You be looking TTC for july, so lets give a couple of cycles to be safe, then pregnant for sept. so baby for may, and Ethan turns 2 in May, so possible double birthday month??? If not then Marchish with BFP on first cycle and Ethan will be just shy of 2. Potty training and diaper changing around the same time. I think that even if you waited until Christmas, which is a 6 month push back, you will have what you have that time with Ethan and still at least be TTC this year. But what do I know? LOL I am just type jibberish.
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March 29th, 2011, 08:10 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 830
I was the youngest of 3 daughters. There is 7 years btw. me and my oldest sister, and almost 2 years btw. me and the middle sister. I wasn't very close to my oldest sister growing up because she was much older than me, and I was close to my middle sister until high school and after when we fought about everything because we were so close in age.

Now I'm much much closer with my oldest sister, we call each other all the time, but me and my other sister don't talk too often, I mean we get along we just don't share a lot with each other. Slowly I hope things change but we'll see.

I'm aiming for 3 years, but of course that could change, depending on if we have a hard time getting pregnant the first go round, and especially since I'm approaching 30yrs young this year and I'd like to have at least 2 kids, maybe 3.
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March 29th, 2011, 08:11 PM
Two for More's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 121
I'm 27, we want to have four children, and we're hoping to be done by the time I'm 35. I think a two year gap between kids would be best for us, and unless something changes in the future, that's what we're planning on for now. I can understand feeling like you're rushing through your son's baby stage by TTC another -- I can understand wanting to savor as much of a nice time in your life as possible. Even though I'm so ready to be a mom, there are times when I think it might be nice to wait just a little bit longer so that I can savor the time my husband and I share now that it's just the two of us. It's tough making a conscious decision to move on to the next thing, especially if you're afraid that you'll regret moving from a time that you're enjoying so much right now. But I think that's a normal feeling, and I think that no matter when you have a second, by the time he or she is here, you wouldn't be able to imagine it any other way. Good luck making your decision.
~ Jay ~

Happily married, and waiting to try

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March 29th, 2011, 11:13 PM
MissusF's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Central CA
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I would like a 2-3 year age gap inbetween my kids, but I'm not sure it'll happen. I really want to be able to stay home until my kids are in school. I don't want to spend too many years away from work so I may have to have my kids closer together than I would ideally want.
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March 30th, 2011, 02:50 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Phoenix, Az
Posts: 3,622
I originally wanted my first two kids to be 15-18 months apart, then wait 3 years and have two more 15-18 months apart. BFing stopped O, so that plan didn't pan out, which is fine. So now we are shooting for 2 years between each of our babies.

My sister and I are 15 months apart and really close. We have a lot in common and share the same memories. We are also friends and can just hang out together. She even lived with us for 10 months with no issues.

My boyfriend and his brother are 5 years apart and have NOTHING in common. They get along fine, but they don't even have the same memories and I wouldn't say they are friends.

Having kids close in age will be difficult on me in the beginning, but in the long run, I think it will be better for their relationship with each other.

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March 30th, 2011, 06:54 AM
Cassie.S's Avatar Sophia's Mommy!
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Illinois
Posts: 8,579
In my family, I am the oldest of 6 with an almost 18 year age gap to the youngest. And even with 9 years between me and my sister, she is my best friend.

For my kids, I think I want a 2-3 year age gap between them. It'd really be nice to not have to deal with 2 in diapers at the same time. I think that would be really overwhelming.

Cassie, wife to Andrew, mommy to Sophia and expecting baby Landon in Feb!

{Our family blog}

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March 30th, 2011, 08:14 AM
morris126's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Georgia
Posts: 436
My brother iss 7 years older than me, and we are not that close at all.
My DH and his brother are 2 years apart to the month, and were extremely close.

We are hoping that our children are 2 years apart as well. If we get a BFP on the first try in July, then they would be 26 months apart.

We also would like at least 3 kids, and since I am 30 I feel this age gap is best for us.

I totally understand your feelings about wantind to savor every moment with your son that you can!
Kelli, mom to Ethan 1/21/10 and Aubrey 5/14/12

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March 30th, 2011, 08:33 AM
M-n-MsMama0510's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 1,892
Mason & Mya are 5 years and 5 months apart and I actually love it. Mason is SOOO amazing with his little sister. He loved kissing my belly and talking to her now he gets me diapers and will hold her bottle a minute if I need. Plus he can shower alone, get a juice by himself ect. Its nice even tho I wanted mine closer in age this has worked out great.
MANY thanks to MeganPixel for my new Siggy <3

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March 30th, 2011, 12:32 PM
Londons Butterfly's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I'm older than my sister by about a year and a half, older than my brother by about three and a half years, and older than my half-brother by 11 years. I was closeish with my sister and brother because we were all raised together, but we did not get along for long, we were all really really different from one another (me from them). The gap is pretty good, for my dad anyway because we were all in school close to one another and he was a single dad and relied on us going to school or daycare so that he could work. I get on okay with my youngest brother, but I wasn't raised with him, and I haven't seen him since he was 9 years old since moved out to Italy. It's kinda weird having such a younger brother.

I have a daughter who is 9, she is 25 months older than her brother. Then we had an oops and my youngest is almost 5 years younger than his brother and 7 years younger than his sister. I love the age gap between my older two kids, though they fight constantly, but it could just be a boy/girl thing. I think 2 years apart is a really good gap. A 5 and 7 year gap is a bit much for me since my youngest tries to do everything that the older two do and it drives me nuts sometimes. But they are soooo good with him, most of the time, when he's not bossing them around and running the house.

I'm not sure if I'm going to like my youngest being 3 or 4 years younger than my baby right now. I think I'll be okay with it, but I'd rather they would have been closer together, it's too bad my husband didn't realize he wanted more last summer instead of the winter.

Scarlett Diane

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March 30th, 2011, 04:39 PM
Capns Girl's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: United States
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I have 5 siblings. 2 sisters and 3 brothers, ages are 32, 31, 28, me 27, 25, 23. My mom had 6 kids in just over 8 years!

All in all we are all really close now. We fought like cats and dogs while growing up but we have always had each others back.

If all goes as planned Madi will be about 3 years older than her future sibling. I think I'm going to like the age gap. Madi is already starting to get super independant. I think the best part is she'll be potty trained before the next one comes around.
Jessi, wife to Aaron (10/02/04), mom to Madilyn (4/01/09) and Lyla (02/01/12)

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March 30th, 2011, 07:49 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 2,713
I am the youngest of 8 and am 20 years younger than the oldest. We all have a great relationship and talk at least once a week.

Now, I followed in my mom's steps (not on purpose, but wouldn't change a thing), my oldest is 21 and the baby is 2. So far they are crazy about each other. The way I see it is, my oldest has had his time and now it is the baby's time!
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