How are things going? How are you doing with dealing with your friends new baby? Just thinking of you.

[May14th2011]

Aw, thanks! Now I'm trying not to cry... =)

I think I'm doing okay.

Thanks for thinking of me!

[May14th2011]

I just... I think I'm jealous of her. Her husband is in the Military, so they live overseas, with their own apartment, no family to cause troubles for them, (or at least they can ignore any who do) and now they have a baby.
Meanwhile, I'm living in a tiny window-less bedroom with not enough room for all of my clothes, much less anything else I own, unable to find steady income, and no baby in sight. Plus, I've been wanting a dog for quite a while and when we finally got one, it's causing all sort of problems.
I keep thinking, "Once I find a job, I'll be happier. I won't be depressed, I'll have money to save up for a house." DH wants a house, not an apartment. I personally, don't care which we get, so long as we go somewhere. We made a deal in November, if we don't have money for a house by then, we'll try to get an apartment.
Well, unless DH wins the lottery, we won't have the money, and I can guarantee that DH won't agree to the apartment idea. Not that we'd have money for that either. =/
It doesn't help that my mom is constantly pointing out that my friend "has her life together".
Nor does it help that my mom came to my wedding, barely said two words to me the entire time, and left 30 minutes into the reception.

I'm sorry. I don't mean to bog anyone down with this. It's just that my friend is the only I've had, she's the only one I can tell this sort of stuff too, but I can't really tell her that talking to her, and hearing about the baby moving, or more recently, hearing that she's going into labor, hurts me. She's a sweet person, I couldn't do that to her, tell her that it hurts to talk to her. Besides, until I found this board, I didn't have anyone I could talk to.
I think she knows a little, because I crack every now and then and tell her how much I want to have children, and I think she realizes that I'm jealous, but...


Sorry. It turned into a novel... Anyway, thanks for thinking of me. It really means a lot. =)

Oh, I'm sorry about all of this. Wish I could give you some words of wisdom. I know waiting sucks, I hope you can find what you need here.