dogs new years resolutions

cocosmumNco · #1 December 28th, 2011, 04:09 PM

A DOG'S NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS

The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.

I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.

I will not roll my toys behind the fridge. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.

I will not eat the cats' food, before or after they eat it.

I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to throw up.

I will not throw up in the car.

I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.

I will not eat any more socks and then redeposit them in the backyard after processing.

When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it's raining outside.

I will not bark each time I hear one on TV.

I will not steal my Mom's underwear and dance all over the back yard with it.

I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and car registration.