pets and babies

cocosmumNco · #1 January 4th, 2012, 03:21 PM

are you worried about any of your pets and new baby?

we have a black lab hes 1 (so will be 2 almost 3 when baby arrives, if all goes to plan) hes a lovely dog so gently with the kids but he is big and can get excitable and he worries me that he will know moses basket over over jump up at baby.
we didn't have a dog when other 2 was babies

plan4fate · #2 January 4th, 2012, 03:50 PM

We will probably have a child before we have any pets. My aunt had to get rid of her cat (it ended up being put down) because it turned insane when they brought home Teanna. It peed on anything that was baby's.. and if you turned your back on the baby, the cat was going for her face with teeth and claws. She took it to a shelter after six months hoping they could rehome it... but it went totally bat crazy and they had to put it down.

cocosmumNco · #3 January 4th, 2012, 04:29 PM

oh my gosh thats scarey.

fromGirltoMommy · #4 January 4th, 2012, 04:36 PM

Nope. We have no pets. Im planning hopefully on getting a kitten for Kenn next year but who knows thats a year away!

Irish_Wristwatch · #5 January 4th, 2012, 04:48 PM

our pets live in cages (a turtle and a bunny) both dont really care about the kids

bellabri287 · #6 January 4th, 2012, 05:41 PM

this is a very hot topic for me. i HATE people who decide to get rid of a pet just because they have a baby. honestly, just because you had a baby does not mean you get to stop being a responsible pet owner. it's all about training and giving your pet the attention it deserves while taking care of your baby. if the pet is causing harm to the baby, then find it a new home. but training can work wonders. also, teach the child to treat the pet respectfully. i hear stories about people getting rid of the dog because it snapped at a toddler. what was the child doing, pulling it's tail, crawling all over it, messing with it's face... are you kidding me!?!

i have 1 old fury cat and 1 awesome dog. no way in hell would i even consider getting rid of them just because of a baby, they were here first and we handled it just fine. the child will grow up learning how to care for, train and behave around animals. no riding the dog, no pulling the cats tail. ill take the dog on walks with a empty stroller, place large baby objects on the floor to train her to avoid them. ill put the work in so she knows what is expected. the cat will likely run from the baby anyways so no worries there.

omg i can go on forever... stepping off the soap box...

Megan30 · #7 January 4th, 2012, 06:10 PM

My dog is very gentle with my boys. I don't have a worry.

LadyGamer · #8 January 4th, 2012, 09:01 PM

My one cat is a total diva and I'm worried she'll be jealous, but she doesn't lash unless someone is bothering her. I do have a very curious cat that likes to be in the middle of everything and I'm worried about her being too curious and friendly with an infant, but thats not much of a worry. They'll be fine.

PurpleStar · #9 January 4th, 2012, 11:19 PM

Nope, no worries...we don't have a dog now, but as soon as our grass grows in, we are going to start looking. Josh and I both grew up with dogs and Vaughn so totally loves them - we're looking forward to getting our first family dog

oh, and ditto Brianna re: common sense and taking the time to train both animal and child about proper behavior towards one another.

Thinking of getting some Dog Whisperer books for training =)

Keakie · #10 January 5th, 2012, 06:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bellabri287

this is a very hot topic for me. i HATE people who decide to get rid of a pet just because they have a baby. honestly, just because you had a baby does not mean you get to stop being a responsible pet owner. it's all about training and giving your pet the attention it deserves while taking care of your baby. if the pet is causing harm to the baby, then find it a new home. but training can work wonders. also, teach the child to treat the pet respectfully. i hear stories about people getting rid of the dog because it snapped at a toddler. what was the child doing, pulling it's tail, crawling all over it, messing with it's face... are you kidding me!?!

But those things are normal toddler behaviours. You can't "out-parent" that sort of thing.

You can intervene and prevent where you can, but toddlers and small children are going to develop at their own pace, and being rough with everything and everyone they can get their hands on is just part of that. Sometimes it only takes half a second for things to go terribly bad.

I would hope that if we had a dog, we would have raised him/her and trained him/her well enough that it wasn't an issue at all (and for most dogs, it isn't) but not everyone is that lucky. Pets have personalities and temperaments just like people, and some of them are not child-friendly personalities and temperaments. I would be irresponsible if I ignored a serious threat to my toddler's safety.

Toddlers do toddler things. Dogs do dog things. Sometimes it isn't a good mix, and I'm certainly not going to re-home my child.

Don't get me wrong - I worked at a pet supply store and we worked with a few rescues and I heard all kinds of stories that would make most peoples' toes curl. It's horrible how easily some people will give up their animals and overpopulation in the pet world is a serious issue. Deciding to buy or adopt a pet *should* be taken seriously and with real commitment in mind.

I just don't think it's necessarily fair to brand everyone who has re-homed a pet after having a child with a terrible brush. :shrug: I agree it's important, if you have pets, to teach children how to care for them and treat them properly - toddlers and young children just aren't "there" mentally and it would be unfair to expect them to be.

--

That said, we don't have any pets right now because our landlord doesn't want animals in the apartment. We would really love to get a dog.

We won't be out of this apartment until at least June (and we may have to renew the lease anyway - it depends on job situations) and if we want to TTC mid to late next year, the timing works better to have a baby first anyway.

bellabri287 · #11 January 5th, 2012, 07:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Keakie

But those things are normal toddler behaviours. You can't "out-parent" that sort of thing.

You can intervene and prevent where you can, but toddlers and small children are going to develop at their own pace, and being rough with everything and everyone they can get their hands on is just part of that. Sometimes it only takes half a second for things to go terribly bad.

I would hope that if we had a dog, we would have raised him/her and trained him/her well enough that it wasn't an issue at all (and for most dogs, it isn't) but not everyone is that lucky. Pets have personalities and temperaments just like people, and some of them are not child-friendly personalities and temperaments. I would be irresponsible if I ignored a serious threat to my toddler's safety.

Toddlers do toddler things. Dogs do dog things. Sometimes it isn't a good mix, and I'm certainly not going to re-home my child.

I just don't think it's necessarily fair to brand everyone who has re-homed a pet after having a child with a terrible brush. :shrug: I agree it's important, if you have pets, to teach children how to care for them and treat them properly - toddlers and young children just aren't "there" mentally and it would be unfair to expect them to be.

Of course you have to know your pet, if you know your pet is not good with children, then you have to either train them so they are or of course find a better home for the pet before having a child. Most stories I hear and see on Craigslist are because the pet owner is simply too lazy to take time to train the dog properly and ignored problems early on. I focus on training the dog in these situations because you are right, teaching a toddler is much more difficult and takes a long time before they are old enough to completely understand things. If the dog really is hostile towards a child, of course the first thing to do if there behavior cannot be fixed is to re-home the dog.

I understand toddlers are rough when learning, but that's why you watch them. Never leave them alone with the pet or unattended at the pets level to ensure that does not happen. It's hard, but to me it would be lazy parenting to let a small child sit on the floor and poke and prod a pet relentlessly in the name of curiosity. If they touch the dog in an inappropriate manner, correct the child. If the dog looks bothered, let it run away if it wants and do not allow the child to chase. Praise when being good, let them know the behavior is what you want from both child and dog.

I am not saying re-homing a dog after getting a child is an evil thing, it's just most commonly I see people doing it because of lazyness. They use the branch of "it's my child, i will protect it at all costs" to make excuses for not even trying to correct the behavior of the animal. There are vaild reasons to have to do it, but I would do everything in my power to train that dog before considering re-homing it. Listing a dog as un-friendly to children is almost a death sentence in a shelter.

Keakie · #12 January 5th, 2012, 08:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bellabri287

Of course you have to know your pet, if you know your pet is not good with children, then you have to either train them so they are or of course find a better home for the pet before having a child. Most stories I hear and see on Craigslist are because the pet owner is simply too lazy to take time to train the dog properly and ignored problems early on. I focus on training the dog in these situations because you are right, teaching a toddler is much more difficult and takes a long time before they are old enough to completely understand things. If the dog really is hostile towards a child, of course the first thing to do if there behavior cannot be fixed is to re-home the dog.

I understand toddlers are rough when learning, but that's why you watch them. Never leave them alone with the pet or unattended at the pets level to ensure that does not happen. It's hard, but to me it would be lazy parenting to let a small child sit on the floor and poke and prod a pet relentlessly in the name of curiosity. If they touch the dog in an inappropriate manner, correct the child. If the dog looks bothered, let it run away if it wants and do not allow the child to chase. Praise when being good, let them know the behavior is what you want from both child and dog.

I am not saying re-homing a dog after getting a child is an evil thing, it's just most commonly I see people doing it because of lazyness. They use the branch of "it's my child, i will protect it at all costs" to make excuses for not even trying to correct the behavior of the animal. There are vaild reasons to have to do it, but I would do everything in my power to train that dog before considering re-homing it. Listing a dog as un-friendly to children is almost a death sentence in a shelter.

Sometimes you can't change a dog's personality, though, especially if you adopted them instead of bought them as puppies.

Some dogs have great temperaments with adults but just no patience for children - you can't know that ahead of time. Not all people know they're even going to have children when they choose to bring a pet into their home.

I could watch a toddler non-stop - it only takes a second for a dog to react, and I'm not lightning fast. Some families have more than one child and logistically it isn't possible to follow the toddler around constantly. When everyone is here, it's chaos and my youngest stepson is a couple months shy of 3. If we're making dinner or helping other kids with tasks or getting people ready for bed, there is a lot going on. I wouldn't be comfortable knowing that taking my eye off of him for half a second could result in him being bitten. Frankly, I'm a little offended that that is considered "laziness" to some.

Yes, you can sometimes section off the dog to a different part of the house or outside - but weather is sometimes too cold (or too hot, where we are) to leave a dog unattended outside for lengths of time, kids know how to move baby gates and personally, I think it's a lot more cruel to lock a dog in a bedroom or basement for extended lengths of time than it is to re-home them to somewhere where they can be happy and thrive, instead of worked and maneuvered around most of the time. Crate training when done properly is a viable option, but you can't keep a dog in it's crate for years on end, or however long it takes a child to become old enough to be able to interact with a pet in a gentle way.

It's a lot of work and there are still no guarantees. It's not an ideal situation for the parent, the toddler OR the dog. Some people *are* lazy and some people genuinely try everything within their power and still can't make it work. As previously stated, I've SEEN shelters and rescues. I know they're overpopulated. I realize it's a problem and it disgusts me when someone buys a pet and then decides a week later they don't want it anymore. I get that. I just don't think it's fair to assume that anyone who chooses to re-home a pet is lazy and doesn't want to parent their children or train their pets properly. That's a lot of assumptions to make. IMO, taking it upon oneself to find a new home for a pet instead of dropping them off at a shelter or on the side of the road shows enough care for me to assume some positive intent.

bellabri287 · #13 January 5th, 2012, 10:45 AM

the situation you describe is very different from what i am talking about. i did not mean to offend, i apologize if i did. i was not saying ANYONE who re-homes a dog because of having children is a horrible person. there are many factors involved, many of which a person outside the situation would not know. therefore you wouldn't make an opinion on it if you don't know. i would definitely ask about it if it was mentioned in conversation. i do know people who have been asked upon announcing a pregnancy "so you are getting rid of your dogs/cats now right?" and this just baffles/upsets me.

Quote:

Some people *are* lazy and some people genuinely try everything within their power and still can't make it work. As previously stated, I've SEEN shelters and rescues. I know they're overpopulated. I realize it's a problem and it disgusts me when someone buys a pet and then decides a week later they don't want it anymore. I get that. I just don't think it's fair to assume that anyone who chooses to re-home a pet is lazy and doesn't want to parent their children or train their pets properly. That's a lot of assumptions to make. IMO, taking it upon oneself to find a new home for a pet instead of dropping them off at a shelter or on the side of the road shows enough care for me to assume some positive intent.

i agree with this. like i said, i think what you are describing as a situation is not what i am thinking of. re-homing and dropping at the shelter or side of the road are different and re-homing definitely shows a person cares about the pet a bit more.

Quote:

Yes, you can sometimes section off the dog to a different part of the house or outside - but weather is sometimes too cold (or too hot, where we are) to leave a dog unattended outside for lengths of time, kids know how to move baby gates and personally, I think it's a lot more cruel to lock a dog in a bedroom or basement for extended lengths of time than it is to re-home them to somewhere where they can be happy and thrive, instead of worked and maneuvered around most of the time. Crate training when done properly is a viable option, but you can't keep a dog in it's crate for years on end, or however long it takes a child to become old enough to be able to interact with a pet in a gentle way.

i agree completely, locking a pet away is not the answer and re-homing is a thousand times better.

i dislike debating via text/on message boards, i don't feel as though points are as accurately made. i usually refrain from voicing my opinions strongly for this reason, i remember why now. so I need to be done.

i hope there are no hard feelings Keakie!

Keakie · #14 January 5th, 2012, 02:04 PM

Not at all!

It looks like I misunderstood some of what you were saying, too. Thank you for clarifying!

Houghtie · #15 January 6th, 2012, 02:19 PM

I have 3 cats and a dog and they are my life. If I thought that there would be an issue with them and children, I just wouldn't have children! They are used to kids though- my 2 year old nephew is around all the time. 2 of my cats run from him and hide, while the other one will let him do anything with no reaction. My dog ADORES him and protects him.

I was terrified about having my dog around kids in case anything happened, so I've been training her since she was a puppy. I pull her and and poke at her and try to instigate her several times a day, but she just lays there and takes it like nothing's happening. I think she will be a great baby sitter

taatie10 · #16 January 9th, 2012, 02:44 PM

We have 1 cat but I'm not worried. She has been around our youngest nephew sine he was a baby and on up whenever he was over at our house.
It will be an adjustment for Bandit (the kitty) I'm sure because she is a total mommy's baby but I think she will do great.

over.the.moon · #17 January 10th, 2012, 01:03 PM

We have one dog, he's a sweetie, so I'm not too worried. Really, he has no intreast in small children. They can't pet him or play with him, so he has little to no use for them. But he'll probably be curious, and I think maybe a bit jealous if he isn't able to cuddle with me. He loves dsd. He sleeps outside her door at night.

Leanne78 · #18 January 11th, 2012, 11:18 AM

I have 3 weiner dogs and I was actually really worried how the one (baby of the dogs) would react. He is known to kind of snap sometimes and some people he just never warms up to. Thankfully, He really has been great with Akadia. I use gates in my house though. The dogs were not allowed upstairs at all where the nursery was. And they only began having real interaction with her when she was past the newborn stage and only with her on my lap. Now at 19 months, she does run around and play with them and give them hugs. I have showed her how to act with them and she is really gentle but I still do not leave her alone with them. I do have to say though that if we ever did have an accident where one of the dogs bit her bad, that would be it. I love my dogs, but I love my baby way more and I wouldn't hesitate to rehome if one of them became hostile towards her. That would have to be extreme though. She's already been very lightly nipped by the doggies before when she's pulled an ear or pinched their butts. They aren't "biting" though, just telling her to back off and it works and she just giggles. We also have a bunny who loves Akadia and a Uromastyx that is Akadia's favorite pet. He's in a tank though, so they just make faces at each other through the glass. He was her first word - Keegan. She still doesn't say mommy but she knows the lizard's name. Figures...