Had a TTC talk with DH today

Memi · #1 January 7th, 2012, 01:34 PM

DH and I finally sat down and talked about where we both are with our TTC timeline. The frustrating thing is it is pretty clear we are not on the same page about a possible TTC timeline.

I am seriously considering TTC in May or June. I know I'm not ready right now, but I want to revisit the issue at the beginning of the summer and see if I feel ready then. It's the earliest I'd be wanting to TTC but the more I think about it and the worse my baby fever gets, the more attractive TTC this summer sounds. DH on the other hand just is not ready at all right now...but won't give me an idea for when he *thinks* he may be ready. I hate that, I'm a planner, give me a month just so I can try to understand where you're coming from!

I know things change and I guess we're still super unclear on the issue which I hate. But at this point we've agreed to sit down again in April and talk about it at that time to see if either of us are ready or if we have a better idea of when we feel we will be ready. I don't like being in limbo about TTC. But even though I'm not ready myself right this second, I can't get baby off my brain! Why is that?

Thanks for letting me vent ladies

plan4fate · #2 January 7th, 2012, 04:03 PM

*hugs* mine is the same. we had agreed on 2013 sometime.. but he changed his mind. said it could be a few years more. i don't think he understands that he gave us a 5 year limit, and that I want 2 kids.. pushing it out 4 years really makes that hard!

Mine wont even discuss it now. but thankfully he's decided to be careless.. which makes it easier.

bellabri287 · #3 January 7th, 2012, 04:24 PM

im so sorry, that blows. im a planner too and it was like pulling teeth to get a timeline set. i hope you DH figures it out and you can have a set month to begin looking forward too.

StacieRN · #4 January 7th, 2012, 05:39 PM

I posted a reply to this and it disappeared!

I am so sorry you're not on the same page...I know that hurts. I am a planner to the nth degree and my hubby is the exact opposite - it drives me batty!! Hopefully in April your hubby will have a better idea...or at least have a better idea of when he'll have a better idea!

Hang in there hun!

cocosmumNco · #5 January 8th, 2012, 06:28 AM

i could of wrote this post for you hun i had same chat with my dh and hes terriable won't plan and i hate it. i like to know where i'm going. if i was just able to say lets do it when he asked me to ttc in the first place but being a planner i couldn't. i'm worried though cause i had this with before after nicole when she was 4 weeks old he said lets have another i said no lets wait then when i was ready he changed his mind and i had to wait another 5 years from that point for him to agree. it annoys me he holds all the power esp when i know (and he admits) he would be over the moon if i got pg by accident. which i have no chance of. hoping i can get him to just not use protection and see how it goes cause he did say he wouldn't hate me if i just did it. which i don't think i can do. rrrrr i so want a accident why can't i be that lucky.

so for crashing your thread i just wanted to let you know i know how you feel. hope you find a way to change his mind.

Megan30 · #6 January 8th, 2012, 09:13 AM

Memi · #7 January 8th, 2012, 09:13 AM

Michelle DH did the exact same thing!! Everytime someone asks he'd say he's ready for another one whenever. Since DS was a newborn he'd ask me for another. So now that I'm starting to get ready and am seriously talking about it he's totally doing a 180 on me!! It's frustrating, that's not fair!!

Last night DH told me "if I knew 100% that our next one would be just like Gabriel I'd want another one right now"?????

he makes no sense to me! Why? Bayou love Gabriel? Bc he's your son? How would the next be any different on that? And DS is a hand full, it's not like he's the most mellow kid around, I'm so lost!!!

ullshair:

cocosmumNco · #8 January 8th, 2012, 09:18 AM

my ds puts dh off another because he is a handful my dd was a angel but we babied ds cause he was poorly and now he gets his own way all the time.

men ay i so wish we could get pg without them

Shades of Grey · #9 January 8th, 2012, 09:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StacieRN

I posted a reply to this and it disappeared!

Mine keep disappearing too!

Ugh, Im sorry! Mine is all over the place lately. Its so frustrating! Im a planner too, I want to know where he is so we can work on getting on the same page, or at least know how far off we are. So Im just operating on the assumption that he will figure it out soon... trying to hold out patience for a few more weeks before I try to get a real answer out of him. Either way, when it does happen, specifically decided or spur of the moment irresponsibility

, he'll be excited no matter how it happened.

Memi · #10 January 8th, 2012, 08:02 PM

I guess DH has been thinking about our talk since yesterday.
He said he was watching Teen Mom earlier today (

) and for some reason, the episode he was watching made him realize no matter how ready he thought he was at the time nothing could have prepared him for DS, and there's never a 100% perfect time to introduce a new baby, but it always ends up being a blessing. So it seems like he's more open to the possibility of TTC in early summer.

I'm so excited! Not being anywhere close to the same page was REALLY getting to me and upsetting me! I think that starting in May I want to for sure start TTC, but we will sway for a girl as far as timing goes for the first few months at least. I know swaying for a girl with the timing means that you lower your chances of getting pregnant each cycle (since you BD farther away from when you O), which realistically means it'll likely take me longer to get pregnant. But I'm okay with that. I'm just really excited to have a start date in sight!

cocosmumNco · #11 January 9th, 2012, 12:12 AM

i best look for a copy of that ep of teen mom then lol

lol someting else we have in common hun i will also be swaying for a girl in may.

good luck hun hope this means hes coming round

Megan30 · #12 January 9th, 2012, 07:37 AM

Oh that's great that he came around!!

Steph604 · #13 January 9th, 2012, 02:09 PM

Yay thats great news!!!! Thats exactly how I felt before with DH and then we sat down and had a long talk and he agreed on a date and I felt so much better! ITs nice to be able to know it will happen soon!

Memi · #14 January 9th, 2012, 04:03 PM

Thanks ladies, I'm starting to get excited

Michelle-We need to talk!

. Are you swaying with timing? How many days before O do you plan to cut DH off?

PurpleStar · #15 January 9th, 2012, 04:14 PM

Oh good! So glad things are resolving in a positive way for you guys...and what's really nice is that he had this "AH-HA" moment all on his own and came to you with it...so that tells you a bit more insight to real feelings on it!

Yay for progress!