[cocosmumNco]

hes done it to me again hes changed his mind to waiting for ttc again i feel so annoyed i know hes gonna keep doing this he did it with zac.
i so wish i could either just do it or accidently get pg. i know it sounds wrong and its the reason i can't do it but if i have to wait for dh i will never get another baby. he can't plan ahead he was brought up as a witness and he has always been told the worlds going to end so he decided theres no point planning ahead and he still doesn't now cause he never has i do all the planning in our house if i didn't nothing would happen. nicole i got pg with her 4 months after i meant dh and i guess i planned it sort of we had run out of condoms and i allowed us to have sex at first he pulled out then he gave up with that. but i didn't know anything about my cycle so didn't know i must of been near ov. i did know i wanted a baby. zac it took me 5 years to get him to commit long anoth to get me pg and that was only cause i was lucky it was first month. i must also say most of that 3 years of that 5 years i thought we was ttc he was just pulling out (i didn't know) he said he did it to save arguements. we had 2 m/c in that time which i suspect was caused by him pulling out cause the sperm that got there wasn't brill quality cause it would of been pre stuff. after we had zac he said he wished he had never messed around and we had had him sooner.
this time was his idea about a year ago he said do you want to ask me something i said no and i got it out of him in the end he thought i was gonna ask him to ttc for another i said i wasn't he said just so you know i would of said yes i was so shocked but it wasn't possiable cause we had just book to go away this may and i would be just about to give birth or have a newborn so we said we would do it so i could still fly. so then i bring it up again as time got closer and he had decided against it and said to wait till holiday so that how it was then he changed it to next dec which i wasn't happy about then we agreed back on may. then we had a talk a week ago and he said after holiday and i asked him if he would hate me if i just took matter into my own hands and he said no but he might be alittle annoyed. then today he said we should wait and wait and wait some more and the next one will be along way off. i feel like screaming at him. i do everything for everyone else my kids and him come before me every time and now i want something for me hes not intrested i know a babies a big thing but i do all the work i get up at night i change nappies and do feeds. hes not concerned about money so its not that. i think my ds doesn't help because he likes his own way alot but hes getting better and hes only that way and not same as ds cause he was poorly as a baby so we did anything to make him feel better and he got used to that.
i don't know what to do. i know i'm meant to have a third. do i just do it because i know he can't plan and i know he will stick by me if not he doesn't love me as much as i thought he does. i it wouldn't really be going behind his back cause i have told him and to be honest i think thats what he expects me to do well not really but i think hes hoping for a accident to take the choice out his hands, or do i wait for him driving myself insane while i do cause i know it will never happen or be along way off and if i'm able to ttc at that moment. or do i settle for 2 learn to put another baby out of my mind and contrate on something else.
please help me girls this is killing me. thanks for listening i didn't realise it would be that long.

[Shades of Grey]

Im sorry your husband is being difficult! It sounds like he doesnt really know what he wants. I hope he figures that out soon. I think, if you feel like you are meant to have a 3rd, it'll happen-condoms, pulling out, bc, if its meant to be, it will be. I can relate to that feeling-I totally feel there is a baby waiting for us to allow it to happen, Im just hoping we can hold it off til summer I wouldnt be too worried about it never happening. You could always wait til close your ideal time to get pregnant, and hopefully he'll be in the 'lets just see what happens' frame of mind, and go from there. What BC method are you using?

[cocosmumNco]

i have the coil in. so a accident is very unlikely

[PurpleStar]

{{{HUGS}}}

I'm sorry Michelle, that you're DH is so undecided. I ditto what Ashleigh said above, but also wanted to add that sometimes some people aren't "deciders". They wait for others to tell them what to do...it doesn't matter the situation or severity/importance of the decision...they, as a characteristic of their person, just are too undecided/afraid/weak/casual/nonchalant about any kind of decision making.

So, maybe in the end it IS up to you to just take charge and plan it out?!?!!!

Sending you good thoughts that you guys can end up on the same page!

[Trish36]

I'm sorry, I know I had to convince my DH with my last 2 kids. It didn't take me nearly as long as you, but still...it's annoying! hope he comes around eventually. BTW - can't you just get the coil removed? without him knowing.

[taatie10]

Originally Posted by coco and icklepiggle-mummy

i so wish i could either just do it or accidently get pg. i know it sounds wrong and its the reason i can't do it but if i have to wait for dh i will never get another baby.

Dont worry, I have the exact same feelings everyday because DH has done the same thing to me ever since our loss 3 1/2 years ago.
Hang in there, I'm always here and will listen. You're not alone

[StacieRN]

How frustrating! I'm so sorry he's being difficult....I don't think guys understand what their wishy-washy attitude does to us hormonal women! I hope he comes around sooner rather than later.

[cocosmumNco]

thank you all you guys are brill i'd go insane without you. i've been tempted to just get the coil out and not say anything. but i could switch contraception which would give me a better chance of a accident. maybe condoms he soon want to ttc then.
just need a none hormonal unrealiable contraception. lol
and i need to stick to my plan of may because i must lose this weight before i start ttc and i don't really want another winter baby i already have 2.
i suppose i need to sit down and think am i prepared to make this decision for us and am i prepared for all outcomes.
thanks you guys have been great its nice to have support instead of being gunned down for even thinking about doing it myself.

[Megan30]

Just wanted to add my hugs.

[Steph604]

I hope you you come up with a solution.. Just wanted to offer "hugs" cause I can imagine that must be very very difficult....

[cocosmumNco]

thank you both