I have never been so humiliated. (long)

Stepmom2Be · #1 January 11th, 2012, 12:27 PM

The other night, bf and I saw the name "Isabella" and both said we really liked it. That got us talking about babies, and what middle name would sound good with Isabella. We were out having a few drinks and I posted it on my facebook status. Isabella *blank* Last name. Fill in the blank. My brother, for some reason, decided to completely humiliate me in front of ALL my friends.

Isabella azwic.gov. Gotta give a shout out to the one paying for the kid. #everyonestaxdollarsexceptyours

He then went on to say:

Planning to have a baby as soon as you have a job when you have no money and are on food stamps is not normal it's ******* crazy. If you think I'm going to support your bad decisions you're even crazier. How are you planning on paying for just the delivery? What if you need a c-section? What if the baby needs special treatment? What if you get put on bed rest and can't work while pregnant? How are you going to pay for day care? I don't know what kind of job you think you are going to get but realistically you are looking at maybe 12 dollars an hour. You don't even have health insurance for ****s sake. #outofyourmind

I then posted a status saying basically if you dont agree with my choices or if I annoy you by TALKING about wanting a baby, then please delete me. And he continued:

Well since we want to be discrete, good thing "some people" have their baby names locked down while they are still unemployed after countless months. Maybe "some people" should spend more time looking at wanted ads and less time looking at baby name books. Maybe when "some people" talk endlessly about having a baby when they literally don't have 5 dollars to their name makes "other people" angry since these "other people" know "certain parents" will just be forced to bail "certain someone" out yet again. get a job, health insurance, and some savings before you think about making a person that is dependent on you to survive since at this point you can't even survive yourself without mommy and daddy. If you don't, and you get preggers before you get your **** together don't expect me to act like its a good thing or be happy for you. **** it SOME PEOPLE have jobs and need to go to bed.

How could someone who is supposed to be my brother be SO mean to me? I replied with this:

I don't depend on mom and dad for anything. I am allowed to think about baby names. Guess how much it costs to think of a baby name? NOTHING! You have NO right to decide what is right for me and my family. I'm sorry that Eric and I didn't include you in our decision for me to stay home and take care of Owen until after the holidays. From now on, we will consult you in all of our decisions as it seems that YOU have your entire life together. Congratulations. Do you want me to say you win or something? What is it that you are trying to prove here?

I just don't get it. I joined the forum called WAITING TO TRY CONCEIVING for crying out loud. I know I need a job and health insurance and stuff first. But I don't understand why someone would feel the need to air ALL my personal business on facebook.

Leanne78 · #2 January 12th, 2012, 06:06 AM

Wow, brother or not, I think I would be the one deleting him from my account!

I<3HelloKitty · #3 January 12th, 2012, 06:25 AM

It sounds like he has some issues that may not even have anything to do with you and it's totally ridiculous that he felt the need to air them on your facebook. I would definitely be removing him or blocking him from seeing any further posts about your plans. I'm sorry you had to deal with something so hurtful.

Shades of Grey · #4 January 12th, 2012, 08:20 AM

Wow. I'd be livid. He sounds angry about something else, the topic probably just sent him off. Totally immature. Who has not thought about their future? He's never dreamed of the fancy car or house (or woman)? And because he cant have them right now, is it wrong to think about them?
I agree, Id delete him. I mean, if things get better between you two, you can always add him again. But I wouldnt tolorate that *%#$@ especially over FB for everyone you've ever met to see... Could have said it through text or called.

Irish_Wristwatch · #5 January 12th, 2012, 12:36 PM

oh wow ((hugs)) im sorry he went off on you like that. It was totally uncalled for and very immature. Is it possible that he is upset about something else that has nothing to do with you? it certainly doesnt excuse his behaviour but it would make sense. There really is no logical reason for him to be that upset over your facebook status

Stepmom2Be · #6 January 12th, 2012, 12:48 PM

I feel like he must be upset about something.

He has a house, a brand new tahoe, a wife, and a 2 year old freaking ADORABLE daughter.

I don't know why he feels the need to bring me down, I'm already jealous that he has a baby and I dont!

TBH I think he is unhappy about something and took it all out on me. But he's so hard headed he won't ever apologize. Ugh.

Thanks guys. I love dreaming about my future. I cant WAIT to pick a baby name!

StacieRN · #7 January 12th, 2012, 01:33 PM

What a hurtful and immature thing to do. Why would he purposely hurt his own sister? I don't understand people like that!

I'm so sorry.

Back when DH and I were first married and didn't have two pennies to rub together we used to look at houses for sale. It was our dream, our motivation, and kept us going when we were not doing so well. Dreams and goals are needed in order to live your life to the fullest. Where would anyone be if they didn't have goals?

plan4fate · #8 January 12th, 2012, 01:39 PM

I'd be calling him out and telling him exactly what I think of him. His words were uncalled for, and immature. If he's unhappy that's HIS problem and he has no right to take it out on you.

I'd block him and try and let it slide now. Any further delving into the issue is just points in his corner. He WANTS you to react, he's getting joy out of it.

*HUGS* I'm sorry sweetie, I'm sure DH's sisters would do the same thing to us, even tho we have money and they're broke... we'd be doing something wrong.

cocosmumNco · #9 January 12th, 2012, 02:58 PM

omg that is terriable i'd be so annoyed what right has he to air his judgement on you life and to make it so public like that that is terriable.
i agree block him and if it was me i wouldn't be speaking to him either till he aplogised no matter how long it took

Stepmom2Be · #10 January 12th, 2012, 03:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StacieRN

What a hurtful and immature thing to do. Why would he purposely hurt his own sister? I don't understand people like that!

I'm so sorry.

Back when DH and I were first married and didn't have two pennies to rub together we used to look at houses for sale. It was our dream, our motivation, and kept us going when we were not doing so well. Dreams and goals are needed in order to live your life to the fullest. Where would anyone be if they didn't have goals?

BF and I still look at houses for sale. What's the harm? We can't buy till after we marry, but we wanna pinpoint all the features we like. I am taking my BC every day, I am not out buying cribs or anything. i just REALLY want a baby. Like I don't feel complete right now. BUT at the same time I know we arent ready financially. He already told me we'll be married by the end of the year, and pregnant shortly after. So why not dream?

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Tithen~

I'd be calling him out and telling him exactly what I think of him. His words were uncalled for, and immature. If he's unhappy that's HIS problem and he has no right to take it out on you.

I'd block him and try and let it slide now. Any further delving into the issue is just points in his corner. He WANTS you to react, he's getting joy out of it.

*HUGS* I'm sorry sweetie, I'm sure DH's sisters would do the same thing to us, even tho we have money and they're broke... we'd be doing something wrong.

Yeah I deleted it all from my page. The ridiculous thing is that before he started in with his rant, I had like 10 friends all joking around talking about baby names. It was fun! Until he got involved...

Memi · #11 January 12th, 2012, 06:26 PM

Wow! I agree, I'd be deleting him from my account. That was totally rude and uncalled for. If he had strong feelings about you not TTC, he should have called you, not ripped you a new one in front of everyone on the web.
He acted childish and it's obvious the real issue isn't that you posted a name you liked. I'd be very upset with the way he "handeled" that.

Trish36 · #12 January 13th, 2012, 08:40 AM

Delete, delete, delete...and then make sure you block him from fb. Sorry, if it was me I'd be holding a huge grudge against him. What is he??? The baby police? It sounds like you have a plan and arent' rushing into things and being irresponsible anyway, and everyone can dream and come up with baby names and the places they want to live in and go on vacation. Heck, I am constantly dreaming of going to Greece.
GRRRRRR!!!! Some people should just keep their comments to themselves.

Stepmom2Be · #13 January 14th, 2012, 10:46 AM

Yeah I deleted it all.

He thinks that I stopped working and am being lazy and wanting to have a kid on the governments money. Not true. And plus, I've admittedly always been a little dramatic, but just because I SAID "Oh depending on what happens we might start trying in a few months," it's still up to my bf. And he feels he doesnt make enough money to support our current family PLUS a baby right now.

He ASKED me to stay home. We got his son full time over the summer because of issues with his mom, and it would have cost us a lot in childcare had I not been home. Plus, he needed stability. BF told me after the new year to start looking for a job and look at that, January 13th i got hired.

Things are RIGHT on track for where they need to be with me and my family. I definitely didn't need ANY of his input. It changes nothing.

Megan30 · #14 January 14th, 2012, 04:06 PM

Good for you for deleting all that crap. I have a brother who sounds very much like yours and I try to not give him the power to hurt me by ignoring, ignoring, ignoring. And if you have to block him...it's just something you have to do for yourself. You did nothing wrong.

HappyHippy · #15 January 14th, 2012, 05:19 PM

That is horrible

I think it is *normal* for girls and women to think about babies, motherhood and names no matter if they're employed or not. I've had names picked out since I was like 14 for goodness sakes. There is nothing wrong with talking about the future, sheesh.

over.the.moon · #16 January 14th, 2012, 05:42 PM

If talking about baby names equaled being pregnant, every girl in high school I knew would've been knocked up. Daydreaming is the fun part of life. I spend all kinds of time looking at mansions for sale on the internet. Homes I could never afford. Ya know, just cause I can. Thinking is free.

I'd probably had gone over to his house and beat his butt. I can be a touch "aggressive".