We had a talk tonight...

plan4fate · #1 February 1st, 2012, 08:59 PM

I had an awful night last night, it was so bad I told him I was calling Planned Parenthood and going back on the pill. He has basically repeated last cycle again... and I was fed up.

So I told him that from now on, the responsibility is his. I will again answer questions honestly, but I'm done with being the responsible one. I'll chart, I'll tell him when it is and isn't safe.. but in the end the choice will be his.

I told him that all I've been able to think about lately is how to come up with oopsies. I do not want to wait, therefore I refuse to accept all the responsibility for the birth control. He's going to get a lesson in charting and he'll have to take an active roll in the whole thing.

I laid everything out for the first time. He didn't realize that I was feeling quite this way, he assumed that because of our situation we weren't ready for a baby. I told him there are many types of "Ready" and just because our living situation isn't ideal, doesn't mean that I'm not ready in other ways. I also explained that we can't start ttc when we want to be pregnant, it doesn't work that way. That it could take a year to conceive... something he hadn't though about.

So, when my weight ticker reaches the 40.8lbs lost, we're going to discuss ttc again. That will leave me with 20-30lbs to lose, he said if I'm feeling better, and sick less we may start ntnp until spring to give me time to get the weight off... so we've got some Progress going on here!

cocosmumNco · #2 February 1st, 2012, 11:44 PM

i replied on fb hun but i want to reply here to.
i'm glad you talked and have a plan like i said on the other thread lets do it together i bet there are others on the board that need to lose so weight before ttc.

1stbaby · #3 February 2nd, 2012, 08:13 AM

It sounds like your talk worked out for the good and you now have a solid plan. I think the waiting and wondering is the hardest part.

Good luck on the weight loss. I am going to be working on getting healthier before we conceive so maybe we could run a thread each day on what we are doing that day to lose weight/get healthier/or just get better prepared?

Aillidh · #4 February 2nd, 2012, 08:27 AM

I'm glad y'all talked, I think it was an important discussion to have and it's good that you came to a better understanding now.

plan4fate · #5 February 2nd, 2012, 10:48 AM

Thanks guys. I realized he pulled the wool over my eyes... I'm not planning on traveling with him for the fall or spring.. makes ntnp really easy! the bugga. But that's not a finalized plan, and he wants me to travel with him.. so it'd be self imposed tta on my part!

But it does look like we're on for spring of 2013. I had a very valid argument that if he has to go back on the job, it'd be better to have spent a few months with his baby than for me to be alone with a new newborn.

it probably helps that Reme asked his dad for a baby brother last night.. usually he asks me. His mom died laughing behind the computer. DH told him that we'll be trying to give him a sister first, he stuck his tongue out at me. lol

Yes, I'm going to get more active in the weight loss board. Starting as soon as I get home. Michelle you still looking for someone to take over in there?

cocosmumNco · #6 February 2nd, 2012, 02:05 PM

yes definately hun i think you do a great job.

Babybear4 · #7 February 2nd, 2012, 02:18 PM

It sounds like you guys had a good talk. The waiting and not knowing is SO hard. I think that men just don't quite understand the inner-workings of us women, so they don't get the NEED to know WHEN!

plan4fate · #8 February 2nd, 2012, 04:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Babybear4

It sounds like you guys had a good talk. The waiting and not knowing is SO hard. I think that men just don't quite understand the inner-workings of us women, so they don't get the NEED to know WHEN!

me thinks there's a reason his ex missed a few pills.... lol