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  • 1 Post By Mommy_of_7_Angels

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  #1  
March 22nd, 2012, 10:22 AM
HeartHelloKitty's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Arizona
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So the closer we get to July/August, the less ready DH is, which is what happened last time as well. He really wanted Ellie to be 3 before we had our next one, and I had talked him into timing it so she'd be 2 and 9 months so I could use my maternity leave and then have the summer off. He's really pushing to wait those extra couple months again, and I asked him why age 3 was the magic number where he thought Ellie would be ready for a sibling. He really couldn't give me a reason. I kind of understand where he's coming from. He wants her to be an only child as long as possible, and I sometimes feel guilty too when I think about how she's not going to get as much attention, but really she's not a baby anymore. She's already turning into a little girl at just 19 months, so I don't know that another month or two are going to make her that much more mature. I guess we'll see how he feels as we get closer to the time.
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  #2  
March 22nd, 2012, 10:43 AM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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*hugs*

as someone who was an older child for a long time, I wont space my kids more than 2 years apart if I can control that. My brothers have 0 issue with each other or with mom... but I lost out a LOT and I remember it happening. Needing mom and her not being there because one of the lil ones needed me. I already feel bad for Reme who doesn't share well, and will be at least 9 before he gets a sibling. Gonna be very hard on him to have to share his dad.

Not trying to change your mind, but I'm just letting you know the flip side.
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  #3  
March 22nd, 2012, 02:46 PM
Mommy_of_7_Angels's Avatar Proud Car Seat Technician
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*hugs* Maybe remind him that you might not conceive in those three months?
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  #4  
March 22nd, 2012, 03:28 PM
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arrr men ay ((( ))
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  #5  
March 22nd, 2012, 05:41 PM
Irish_Wristwatch's Avatar Running with Scissors....
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tell him you have to be my DDB and we are trying in july
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  #6  
March 22nd, 2012, 05:48 PM
irishblessing's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I would try to stress the point that it doesn't always happen the first month.
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  #7  
March 22nd, 2012, 06:18 PM
HeartHelloKitty's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I know, Bree! And I don't think that reminding him it can take a while will help. With both of my pregnancies we literally dtd once and I got pregnant. Lol. I'm hoping once a couple more months pass wecan discuss it again and hopefully he'll get the promotion he's working towards so he'll be more comfortable with our finances.
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  #8  
March 25th, 2012, 03:58 AM
~ Nicole ~'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I am getting so tired of these men who are so difficult! UH! My DH keeps pushing it back more and more too! Now whenever he promises me a date I don't even believe him! Liar! Men MUST have a high sex drive or the human race would die out! I don't know why men are such babies when it comes to making babies!
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  #9  
March 25th, 2012, 10:02 AM
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Sorry to hear he has changed is mind- I think like PP said... good idea to remind him that its likely it will take a few months to get pregnant anyways. I hope he comes around for you.
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  #10  
March 25th, 2012, 06:57 PM
Memi's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I'm sorry he's changing the timeline on you. But I have to admit that I'm in the exact same situation but see it from your DH's point of view.

I've always wanted my kids to be 3 years apart. I think that's the "magic number" for me bc I know 3 years they'll still be close enough in age to really be friends and grow up together. But that also gives enough time for my oldest to grow up enough to be more independent and even help out a bit and not be so physically dependent on me throughout the entire day. I had wanted to push my timeline up bc I got the baby fever, and start TTC in May-July which would make DS 2.5 when another LO is born. The closer it gets to May the more I become very aware that I'm simply not ready. Simply put, DS is a HAND FULL!!!! And I can't really leave him alone without knowing he's getting into trouble, climbing something, etc. I can't imagine running after him while trying to care for a newborn or even while pregnant. I want for him to be old enough that I will feel like I'm gifting him a sibling rather than taking needed attention away from him. IDK if that makes any sense but I know I won't enjoy another one right now like I should bc I've already got my hands full.

In any case, I hope if you're really ready now you two can maybe come to a middle ground. I know it can be really frustrating to not be on the same page!

P.S.
Looks like our LOs are even closer together than I thought. Just looked at your siggy, DS is only one week older than your DD!
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  #11  
March 31st, 2012, 10:38 PM
HeartHelloKitty's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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So we talked about it some more and I agreed to wait until October. Conceiving then would put Ellie just a couple weeks shy of 3 at my due date. We will re-evaluate then and may possibly wait until January depending our financial situation because that might allow me to take more time off work.
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  #12  
April 1st, 2012, 07:01 AM
tygrss's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Glad to hear that you've made some progress concerning the situation.
My DH is being a pain in the butt as well. I'm actually pretty pissed at him right now because of it. Sigh.
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