Guilt

rads75@aol.com · #1 May 4th, 2012, 07:56 PM

Now that I've convinced the hubby to have a second child, I am feeling super guilty for the attention that will be taken away from my son. In some ways, I want him to have a sibling, but I worry it will ruin the dynamic we have now. I don't want my sweet boy to have to grow up too soon because there is another baby in the house. Maybe we should let him be an only child, but I worry about when we are gone!

cocosmumNco · #2 May 5th, 2012, 04:19 AM

hun its only natural to worry this i did before i had zac but if anything it gives them more attention because they have a older brother or sister to give them attention and a constant playmate.
don't worry the new baby will fit in perfect.
maybe if you still aren't sure increase the gap between them alittle. theres 7 years between mine not planned and i'm not saying that long but maybe so your oldest is 4 when baby born or full time school.
it worked well for us because nicole had all our attention till zac was born and once he was here she was at school or day and came home and played with him.
and a second doesn't really take anymore time up than 2 just makes it better.
nicole used to get lonely and zac doesn't seem to mind not having anyone to play with in the day.

rads75@aol.com · #3 May 5th, 2012, 04:58 AM

I would increase the gap if we were younger, and we didn't have the insurance issue. I will be 37 this year. If we don't get approved to stay on our current insurance, we will wait a couple more years. Miles will be going to preschool from 9am till 11:30am this November.

rads75@aol.com · #4 May 5th, 2012, 08:28 PM

The more I think about it, the more I feel like we should wait till he is four. The insurance situation will suck, but money isn't that important to our family.

irishblessing · #5 May 5th, 2012, 08:34 PM

I got pregnant when DD was 1 year old and I felt incredibly guilty. It was a planned pregnancy but I couldn't help but feel I was cheating her out of her time for one on one, and other opportunities. I miscarried, and didn't end up getting pregnant again until almost a year and a half later. They are nearly exactly 3 years apart and I didn't feel guilty at all with the last. I think I would feel the same getting pregnant when DS is a year. Giving them a sibling is an AMAZING gift, nothing has brought me more happiness than watching DD with her baby brother and seeing them play and grow together. I'm so happy I had a second one, and if we have a third I will once again leave a longer gap in between. I like to have enough time to feel like they got enough one on one time to start off.