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When I first joined just mommies I believed that me and my DH were finally ready to TTC baby #3. However, now that we TTC last cycle and failed, I can't deny the fact that I'm feeling a little wishy-washy about it. I do want another baby and I know that having another is an inevitability, but just as soon as I get super excited about it, I start thinking about how much of a huge responsibility raising an additional life is. Just to give some back story, after DS turned 3 months old in 09, I developed severe anxiety and borderline OCD. I would have random panic attacks and couldn't sleep, and I would obsess about avoiding things that could deteriorate my health or kill me. I was a little kooky to say the least at that time, but I saw my doctor and got help and I'm completely fine now.. almost 4 years later. In addition to that, I am also concerned about my weight. I gained about 40-50 lbs during each of my pregnancies (and during my 3rd trimester I would stop breathing and wake up all throughout the night). With DS, my starting weight was 124 and my ending weight was 170. After I delivered DS I lost about 30 lbs and somehow magically gained it all back and I'm at 170 again (I'm 5'7''). So being afraid of another anxiety/panic episode, gaining too much weight, and having weird breathing problems during pregnancy is really what's holding me back the most. Maybe I'm over-analyzing things.
Either way, for now I am happy to join you all on the WTTC boards and I'm looking forward to possibly getting to know you guys .
Welcome to our group! It sounds like you have a lot holding you back. Many of us are working through similar feelings. They are totally normal. I think time really will help you to become more comfortable with the idea of TTC.