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Anyone WANT another baby but feel guilty about it?


Forum: Waiting to Try to Conceive

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  • 1 Post By Ame C
  • 1 Post By HippieLove

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  #1  
June 16th, 2014, 05:30 PM
Butterbear's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Cape Ann, Massachusetts, USA
Posts: 2,126
Hi there,

I've popped in and out of this board for some time now because I can't seem to make up my mind. DH and I will have been married for 7 years next month, and we have 4 kids (ages 4, 3 and b/g twins that are 18 months). Obviously we have our hands full and have a lot of kids. I have had mixed feelings about wanting another for a while now. I am not young (turned 40 in March) and had my tubes tied after the twins since I thought I SHOULDN'T want any more, but I do. We struggle to support the kids we have now, and have a small living space, so I feel very guilty and selfish for wanting another. I know if we were to get pregnant again our family and friends would think it was a mistake. Anyone else feeling the same thing, or any thoughts or advice?
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  #2  
June 16th, 2014, 06:09 PM
Ame C's Avatar Every breath is a gift.
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 3,696
I would feel a lot of guilt if we started ttc before DS is a little older. I don't want to jip him out of my attention or make him feel less loved during his needy toddler age. I can see where it would be a hard decision for you to make.
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  #3  
June 17th, 2014, 05:53 PM
HippieLove's Avatar Modern Day Brady Bunch
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Down Under
Posts: 20,916
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Yes, yes and yes.

Firstly, I like to think of it this way. What will you regret more, a tighter budget or living with that angst in your heart forever?

I feel guilty having another child because, all my kids have the same Father (my ex) and my partners two kids have the same Mother. I feel guilty, because I worry that the kids will feel left out when Loz and I have our own child. I feel guilty because together we already have 6 kids and I mean, thats alot of kids lol. Although, if I didn't think we could swing it financially, I wouldn't consider it... Like if I didn't think I could pay the bills, clothe them and feed them. We may not get to take luxurious holidays but as long as all the kids are taken care of...
I know I *need* this, I know that if we don't, I will always regret it and when he/she is grown up, I will never regret it.
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Emma, girlfriend of Loz, future step-mama to J (15) and K (10), Mama to Jaelah (8), Oliver (5), Mianna (4) and Harper (2), WTTC our first together, in 2015.
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  #4  
June 29th, 2014, 04:12 PM
lapoema's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 7,085
I do feel guilty. My mom is very close with my two girls and I know throwing another baby into the mix will change the dynamic. Everything seems so perfect now.... not that it won't be, with a new baby, but yeah there is a guilt feeling for wanting another one.
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